Showing posts with label taming the tongue. Show all posts
Showing posts with label taming the tongue. Show all posts

Wednesday, 24 July 2013

Being set on fire

It was one of those days.

Trouble and strife slipped in uninvited. 

It waits on the threshold of our lives and sneaks in where cracks appear in our defences, our walls are weak with vulnerability, our armour rusty from lack of use and a space is created to enable access.

I was laid weak with weariness, further depleted by infection, drooping with fatigue and more sleep-deprived than usual due to nights made hot and heavy with heatwave and frequent tossing and turning.

Going about my normal morning routine of assembling coffee when it scalded hot, found its way on to skin covering forearm and hand, splashed over dress, legs and feet, seeping and scorching.


It's one of those rare, usually manageable tasks I am capable of with M.E.

Weakness and fatigue make kettles and coffee pot a danger zone I don't consider too much when drugged with exhaustion - just the time when I should.

Stilled by shock, having already alerted my OH of my debility a minute or so before as a pain spasm made me wince aloud.

Now, he heard a new urgency in my tone and came running.

He dealt with floor and hob while I ran limbs under soothing cold, pausing only to remove clothing and footwear.

Cold ice packs applied in rotation to stem the fire searing my right arm and left hand, which caught the worst of it, closely followed by aloe vera and lavender gel to soothe and aid healing.

Spills were mopped up, clothes changed, sandals wiped, coffee put in front of me as I tried to bring cup to lips with shaking hands.

Sitting stiff with nerves tingling painful, smarting senses alive, I felt washed with gratitude that the damage was less than anticipated and my momentary lapse in concentration was treatable with first aid at home rather than necessitating a hospital visit.

Here was God's grace in action in preventing worse trauma.

And as I sat with throbbing, burning pain, I thought of how easily we can bring stinging pain to another life by ruining of reputation, slander, misunderstanding and gossip. Scalding deep. Wounding.

We may also know someone who specialises in doing that to others. I do. She's a near neighbour who takes the concept of 'neighbourhood watch' to a whole new level.

Seemingly oblivious to her own faults and failings, she exaggerates and freely points out those of others. Or it may be your property that has flaws (real or imagined) which she reminds you of regularly while ignoring her own.

I'd never thought I had enemies until I realised that one who irritates and annoys me (rather like a stinging nerve) can be counted as such. 

She makes me (and my OH) flare up, see red and feel heat rise within.

We may even harbour people like that under our own roof, perish the thought.

So this neighbour from hell...(literally?) ...well, certainly a great provoker and irritant...has made life very trying at times. 

Her words may set other lives afire in the wrong way but she is just as needy of the cooling waters of grace as anyone else is, maybe more.

And it's so often the case that their own unhappy lives or painful situations can drive people to try to destroy the good in others.

They can become self protective to an alarming degree. Seeing faults in all around yet none in themselves.


We too have tongues lit like matches that can set a forest alight when we speak inadvisedly about others.

A word out of our mouths can heal and bless, or by our speech we can ruin a reputation, turn harmony to chaos, send the whole world up in smoke and go up in smoke with it.

Jesus asks us to give a drink to our enemies if they thirst (and who doesn't thirst for the living Christ even if they are unaware of it?) and to be light for others.

This is not necessarily how we would respond instinctively. We tend to fear that which feels strange to us. Yet we needn't.

Because all of us are reliant on the saving grace, deep forgiving love of God and the transforming power of His Spirit working to change us from the inside out.

And if it takes an encounter with near boiling liquid (as happened to me) to make us more aware of His grace, then God can use any and everything to help us to live and love more as Jesus does.

I am healing. Recovering from the shock I had. A wake up call of sorts, perhaps? A warning to keep my guard up against the enemy of our souls? Maybe.

Whatever it was, I am grateful for the lessons it has taught me. There is so often a blessing to be found the other side of a brick wall.

I don't know about you, but I want to be set on fire by God's Spirit, to blaze fierce with His love and compassion, burn bright with His grace rather than be consumed by irritation, anger and frustration or become burnt out and weary of well doing.

Let us lay down those things that consume us which will one day be consumed by God's purifying fire.

Let us lay hold of the soothing, calming waters of grace and sprinkle, yes, even pour and flood them on others; be a river, an outpouring to refresh and heal wounded souls.

Over to you:

Have you struggled to get on with challenging people?

How has God taught you about His grace in surprising ways?



This is part of the 'Grace Notes' series where areas of God's grace are noted in our lives, revealed and shared. Do feel free to join in with the comments below. I love to hear from you! Thank you.

To stay in touch with my posts you can follow on Twitter or like my Facebook page

Sunday, 28 April 2013

A time to speak and a time to refrain

We all tend to think of ourselves as sweet, reasonable people most of the time.

Or hope we come across that way at least.


But I know there are times when I try my husband's (extremely l..o..n..g suffering and saintly) patience to the utmost.


At times like that I wouldn't be at all surprised if he thought along the lines of the words from Proverbs below:



When words/tiredness/hormones/stress get the better of me I know I fit this description perfectly and I don't even want to be in the same room as me.

My devoted Other Half is blessed with an inordinate amount of good-will, patience and calm, and, boy, has he needed it.

You see, hurting people tend to hurt other people, almost without noticing it.

My way is with words.

Thankfully, self-criticism more than wounding others with intent.

Though I still do and hate myself for it.

When we love someone in a marriage relationship then we co-exist and are co-joined as one flesh in the sight of God.

If I spend time spouting forth poisonous venom about myself, and occasionally leaking it over him, what does that say to my beloved?

Did he choose wrongly?

Do I have no idea how much he loves me?

Do I have no idea what damage I am doing to my own fragile self-esteem?

Don't I realise how much it wounds him to hear me speaking negatively about myself?

The sad answer is "No" and also "I can't help it" or "I didn't realise".

If I can hurt my husband in that way, then what sadness does it bring to God's Father heart to hear me lamenting about my life and flaws and failures to the extent where it sounds like griping, whining and complaining at the way He made me?

No, I'm not perfect. I'm very much a flawed and cracked pot in the Potter's hands.



But I am also supposed to be aware of the loving way I have been crafted and designed for His service.

Thankfully, those destructive negativity moments are becoming a rarity these days as not only have I worked through and been healed emotionally of a lot of past problems, God has also given me a revelation on who I am in Christ.

And that has made a huge difference to how I see myself.

So I try (with His help) to speak words of love, comfort and encouragement into the lives of others.

To enable them to see and believe how special they are to God.

Each one of us is dearly loved and unique, equipped with individual skills and talents to live fully and freely and bless others with.

We can all learn how to do that as we truly believe it for ourselves.

There is a time to speak and a time to refrain from speaking.

Taming the tongue is hard work and will most likely take me into eternity as I seek to do it better.

But it is so worthwhile.

And if it means my husband is happy to have me by his side rather than seeking a roof-top or desert escape route, then so much the better!

******

How about you?

Are you listening to what you say about yourself?

Does it tie up with what God is saying about you in Scripture?

To stay in touch you can join by Google Friend Connect, follow on Twitter or like my Facebook page.