No matter what

Sometimes we sweat the small stuff.

Major on minors.

Fail to differentiate between the two.

This year, I had a dream - a God-sized dream:

"To draw closer to God and discover His specific plan for me creatively and personally"

At the time I had no idea what a major part it would play in the scheme of things.

This week Holley asked, "Why is your dream worth pursuing, fighting for and seeing through no matter what happens?"

Pursuing it has become one of the most important and worthwhile things I do.

Anything that really matters is worth fighting for and seeing through - no matter what 

And I have had my fair share of discouragement, plenty of heart-sink moments in the pursuing.

It feels like a battle most weeks to show up and fight for the right to stay focused on the journey.

One vital thing is emerging.

This alone is the best reason to continue:

God gave me this dream and He walks beside me each tiny, tentative step of the way

It doesn't yet look how I imagined or hoped it might be

No soothing meadow-resting moments. No easy ride

I've been called upon to bare my soul, unlock the past, reveal the skeletons, shake the dust off them, share present struggles, and be bold in the telling.

Each week I have no idea what will emerge to frighten me or enlighten others.

This I do know:

My struggles, pain and problems only serve to enhance the need of God's presence.

My love for God grows stronger in the leaning and learning.

My faith in His holding power overcomes hesitation.

My desire to do His will magnifies with every step.

And the need to write is a compulsion. I cannot help myself. Words must flow.

"A musician must make music, an artist must paint, a poet must write, if he is to be ultimately at peace with himself. What one can be, one must be" ~ Abraham Maslow

Now I am finding courage in calling myself a writer and poet and not feel like a wolf in sheep's clothing, impostor extraordinaire waiting to be found out.

And, believing in this, I can be more open to God's plans for me creatively.

In a life circumscribed by sickness I come alive in the telling, with words growing strong and healthy even as body weakens and fails.

At this stage I can only glimpse a small piece of the puzzle, with no idea what will emerge in the finished picture.

My part is to stay faithful, adding one small piece at a time, watching as some semblance of form emerges, continue the journey and trust God for the outcome.

Beneath this weary body lies a rod of steely determination and a heart still full of hope.

I've started, so I'll finish (well, perhaps a bit of stubbornness here too).

I haven't come this far only to give up.

Even if the odds are stacked against me.

Even if it demands more than I ever imagined.

Even if courage only comes in the doing.

Even if ...'the healing doesn't come, and life falls apart, and dreams are still undone; You are God, You are good, forever faithful One' - lyrics from 'Even If' by Kutless (you can click on the link to hear the song)

No matter what, I know God is faithful and I trust Him to see me through

As long as He graces me to do so, I will pursue my dream and encourage you to do the same!

Linking here with Holley Gerth and the rest of the God-sized dream team

Please feel free to join us on the journey. You are more than welcome.

To stay in touch you can sign up here for e-mails, link with me by Google Friend Connect or like my Facebook page. 

Wounded Warriors

IF:

...You count crawling out of bed each day as Victorious Christian Living

...Hope rocks back and forth in tandem with your feelings

...The valley floor you walk is mud-slushed with years of pacing

...Going round and round the same mountain is making you dizzy

...The ache is your heart feels like a lead balloon

...Smiling is a lost art which feels forced in the doing

...Your cross feels too heavy to carry one second longer

...You're dead-tired and about to throw in the towel

...You see one more toothpaste-smiley Christian telling you how to secure your miracle and feel you might want to throw up over their perfectly pressed suit..

Then..this prayer is for you

"A bruised reed he will not break, and a smouldering wick he will not snuff out" ~ Isaiah 42:3

A Prayer for the Hurting

God bless the wounded warriors,

the ones who crawl and cry through,

those who press in and press on 

with leaking eyes and leaking wounds,

the battle-scarred and beaten down.

Bless the broken-hearted,bleeding and bruised

 reeds rubbed raw by those who have 

rubbished and rejected them,

those who can barely lift their face

weighed heavy with shame and disgrace.

Hold those who cannot hold on another minute,

whose lives are fear-filled,

whose faces are tear-filled,

who feel empty of worth and value

of no repute, cast aside, left behind.

Keep safe the ones who are drowning,

whose days and nights 

drip with disappointment,

dread, darkness and torment 

of body and soul.

Cradle the lonely;

let your love wash over them,

embrace their emptiness

and fill with the companionship

that only Your Presence provides.

Come alongside the misunderstood,

the marginalised,

the misfits,

the mayhem makers

and risk takers.

Bring strength to the weary,

grace for the weak,

hope for the hurting,

freedom for captives,

peace for the pain.

The path is long, the way is hard,

finishing line too far to see

as we drag there on our knees,

dry and thirsty for relief

desperate for some ease.

Walk with us as you did of old

on sand-encrusted shore,

dirt-trodden pathways,

seeking and saving 

those who are lost.

For we need you, Lord Jesus;

Your return seems far off,

We fight and we fail,

shout, cry and rail,

for a touch from above.

Amen.

©JoyLenton2013

Here, we admit: Our need to be real, avoid jargon and ill-timed Christianese, recognise struggle, acknowledge the hard path, the road less travelled that many of us tread with wearied steps. 

Here we seek: Not to wallow but to offer empathy, sharing and caring to all wounded souls.

Coming up in a future post: Thoughts, words and prayers to offer hope and healing.

For now: Listen to your heart's cries. Admit your need. See that you are not alone. Take a crumb of comfort from others on the journey. Seek help if life stays painful.