Showing posts with label compassion. Show all posts
Showing posts with label compassion. Show all posts

Monday, 17 June 2013

Lifting the lid on mental health issues



Poetry tends to break forth from my heart before it hits pen and paper, unstoppable as a hymn of praise in a dawn chorus.

Words are shaped in fires of adversity and honed in hues of happiness.

Neutrality is not my norm.

The unlocking of verse usually relies on deep emotion for me.

This poem was birthed in meditating on an event currently being experienced by a family member.

My brother-in-law, Andrew,  has had Schizophrenia since his teens. You can click on the link to find out about this serious mental health illness.

It has had many manifestations, some manageable at home, or in the community, and others requiring specialist care.

Now he is in a bad place mentally where it is hard to reach out to him and harder still to see the person he once was within.

It is a painful thing to witness as a soul seems lost to all but God.

Here is my poetic rendition of his current situation.

I offer it in empathy, sympathy and support for all those who may suffer similarly, plus their families and carers.

And in the hope of promoting greater awareness and understanding of mental health problems in general.


'Locked'




Locked
inside a room
made safe
with softness
nothing hard
nothing sharp
to cause harm
Locked
inside a mind
peopled
made rich
with multiple
conversations
spinning through it
Locked
into the past
which streams
and seems
ever-present
in the here
and now
Locked
out of society
and sense
reason and
rationality
 scrambling round
in vain
Locked
away and observed
by those
paid to care
bathe bodies
soothing mind
being kind
Locked
and hospitalised
medicated
sedated
until a key
can be found
to set free
©JoyLenton2o13
(All rights reserved)


Very few of us will get through life completely untouched or unaffected by mental health issues, either in our own lives or those of our loved ones, family and friends. 

Even fear and anxiety problems can become all-consuming and paralysing.

Mental health disorders can be relatively mild or severe, ranging from debilitating stress to clinical depression, through to paranoia and psychosis.

All need to be taken seriously, treated with care and compassion, with appropriate medical attention and treatment sought as necessary.

Though we can be 'locked in' or 'locked out' in other ways too in terms of isolation, loneliness, and being marginalised or misunderstood by others, often leading to great misery and devastating effects on self-esteem and feelings of self-worth.

Let's aim to befriend, support and care for one another;  to demonstrate God's love and compassion in action to those we know who may need extra understanding and kindness right now.

"Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience" ~ Colossians 3:12

Friday, 15 February 2013

Grace Notes:Compassion

It is very easy to provide for those we care for and usually natural for parents especially to want to lavish love, attention and gifts on their children.

This is a biblical pattern after God's own heart.

Yet we can miss such a lot if we don't slow down sometimes and really notice what is going on around us - not just within our own circles.

 For instance, though we may prefer to close our eyes to the fact, there are a lot of needy people out there who are desperate for help and attention.

Some of them may be shouting and clamouring  -  possibly looking the worse for wear.

Some of them may be mumbling incoherently, heads bowed - while holding out a begging bowl or hat.

Some may be sitting on the pavement  -  trying to look purposeful while feeling invisible.

Some may be hurting deeply inside -  yet on the surface they can look just like you or me.

How are we supposed to act or react to their need?

Let's try not be quick to judge or condemn others.

It can often take something shocking in our own lives (or those close to us) to wake us up to the fact that at times we can all be hurting people who need to be recognised as such and given appropriate help and support.

Compassion isn't new though. The Bible story of  The Good Samaritan Luke 10:25 - 37 is probably familiar to many of us. Jesus uses it as an illustration to answer the question, "And who is my neighbour?"
"Love cannot be divided. If it is genuine it serves God and the neighbour in the same act. Or better, it sees God in the neighbour and the neighbour in God" ~ Carlo Carretto
That question is still valid today - particularly as we have all become 'global neighbours' to one another. I have previously been challenged in my thinking about compassion and the need of 'Reaching out a Hand' to others by reading 'Wrecked' by Jeff Goins. 

Another challenging and inspiring book has contributed to the process: 'Graffiti: scribbles from different sides of the street' by Alene Snodgrass. You won't be the same once you've read either of them as you will find yourself looking around more to see which need you could be helping to meet, maybe globally or locally.
"Compassion asks us to go where it hurts, to enter into places of pain, to share in brokenness, fear, confusion and anguish" ~ Henri Nouwen
Sometimes the neediest people are right under our noses: our families and friends. After all, don't they say that "Compassion begins at home"?

It begs another uncomfortable question:Would we be those who would stay and offer assistance or would we just 'pass by on the other side'?



Helping others can be demanding, time-consuming and messy work.

A few months ago I had an opportunity to show compassion towards someone and, I'm ashamed to say - I completely flunked it. 

This was late one night, a few months ago, when voices disturbed my sleep. We live close to a pub and it is relatively common to hear late-night revellers dispersing homeward at weekends. Eventually, all other sounds faded apart from a persistent plaintive cry of "Help, help me!" 

Tucked up in bed as I was, aware that my Other Half sitting downstairs (an owl not a lark) would be immune to the sound (as he considerately wears headphones when listening to music/films at his preferred volume), I lay there listening and wondering what to do. 

How could I (seriously weakened by M.E and chronic sickness) go outside in my PJs in the cold - to find goodness knows what - and assist a guy who was potentially drunk and disorderly? Should I alert my Other Half? He would definitely be concerned, yet wary and worried about getting involved because of his own crippling anxieties and accompanying social phobia. Ordinary everyday encounters are hard enough for him - never mind such as this.

He may be a Hero to me in his daily love and care but he was far from 'Superman saves the day' material.

Thus went my reasoning. Thus went my ability to help - out the window to mingle with the cries. I did get up to take a peep but couldn't see a thing or tell precisely where the repeated lament was coming from.

Eventually, other voices were heard. People were coming to his aid. An ambulance was called. 

Eventually, my OH appeared and glanced out the window to see what all the commotion was about. The guy was taken care of with concern and compassion - by others.
I gave myself every excuse possible, but the bottom-line was I didn't act like Jesus would do in caring for another person. I put my own needs above theirs.

There must have been something better than just listening and doing nothing.

So why share my dismal story? 


In order to show that being compassionate isn't always easy or straightforward and we may have to exercise compassion toward ourselves for those times we mess up 

Compassion can be defined as:
  • The desire to ease another's suffering
  • A sympathetic awareness of another's distress combined with a desire to alleviate it
  • Showing kindness and caring through generosity and service
Being compassionate can take many forms:

Comforting a friend -  or anyone in need.

Visiting -  the sick, lonely, bereaved, elderly or housebound.

Sending cards -  to let others know we remember them.

Being a listening ear -  for a friend or stranger.

Giving our time and attention -  especially when it's inconvenient to do so.

Taking action -  to encourage and support others.

Giving practical help -  according to our abilities.

Preparing a meal - for those unable to face the task or without the means to do so.

Volunteering -  to assist in a community outreach whether local, national or international.

Praying for -  the needs of others.

Whatever our own particular set of circumstances may be, there are always ways, large or small,  in which we can help and support other people and show them grace and mercy in their time of need.

As this is the season of Lent, we could look for practical ways to observe it and help others at the same time. Over at A Deeper Story you can read about and participate in drinking just water in place of your usual drinks for 40 days, to facilitate wells for Uganda.

"Nothing that you have not given away will ever really be yours" ~ C.S. Lewis

After all, we may be the one who is suffering and in need one day.

I'm sure you can think of many other ways to be compassionate.

In this post I am linking up with Missional Women Faith-filled Friday

You can also connect with me on Twitter or follow on Facebook


Please feel free to share ways in which compassion has impacted your life as a recipient or trying to be a person of compassion in reaching out to others.