Making room for rest

March came in like a lion and went out like a lamb.

On the cusp of the month I heard gentle, persuasive roarings from the Lion of Judah as He made it clear to me that I should take a blogging break.

Only here's the rub ~ it was to be for an unspecified time but definitely a month at least.

Because I was burnt out physically and mentally, in need of rest, restoration and lots and lots of sleep. 

Ideas and inspiration were still flowing freely but the energy to execute them wasn't.

So I stepped back, withdrew reasonably willingly and cheerfully.. at first. After all, God was calling me to enter His rest more deeply and fully than before. What's not to like about that?

Plenty, actually, as I soon discovered. It was hard to lay down my pen, remain silent, still my soul and surrender.

Resting turned out to be something I found very challenging - yes, even as an M.E sufferer where resting and pacing are a necessary part of life.

But this was different. This was taking resting to a whole new level.

Before I could properly rest and relax I had to discover what was blocking the process.

Letting go felt like drowning, even with my Lifeguard at hand. I'd taken off my writing shoes, padded gingerly out to sea and lost myself in waves of invisibility. 

Or at least that's how it seemed for a while. I felt isolated, lonely, bereft of the writing community's friendship and support.

However, God was drawing me into closer communion with Him. 

It sounds lovely and it was at times, but it was also painful. 

Holy ground tends to show up our dustiness, selfishness and soul depravity. All that God longs to put right in us.

Resting was far from restful for a while.

When thoughts presented themselves to me I ran with them in my eagerness to be Doing Something.

Why not journal my experience? Great idea.

Why not consider turning it into an e-book? Excellent suggestion.

Why not read several books at once? Oh yes.

Why not try my hand at other creative activities instead? Hmm.. why not?

Hence the challenge. 

I didn't become an expert on the subject but, thankfully, I did eventually learn what to listen to and what to ignore and how to evaluate what I was going through.

Here's the low down:

a) The hard facts:

• Resting is really hard work
• I totally suck at it
• My mind resists switching off
• Inner restlessness is my default position
• Calm is hard to come by
• Worry worms its way in
• Pulling away from busyness can make us doubt our purpose
• Discouragement drowns out God's voice
• Impatience makes it take longer
• I really need to learn how to do it
• I guess practise makes perfect
• I doubt I'll ever fully learn it in this lifetime

b) The golden truths:

• God wants us to enter His rest
• He calls us with gentle persuasion
• Letting go of control can be liberating
• Time in God's presence is never wasted
• Sitting at Jesus' feet aids surrender
• Listening for His voice gets easier over time
• Prompt obedience brings better results
• Inner rest promotes outer rest
• We get to exercise our faith
• It enables us to be more receptive
• It paves the way for creativity to flourish
• Realisation of our identity in Christ is heightened

I'm sure more nuggets of truth will emerge as I read through and reflect on my notes.

As it is, my slow M.E brain has taken several days to piece these words together here. Resting for a month seems to have made me rather rusty! Thank you for your grace..

But I have wondered, would it would help you to read about my experience? Maybe I will write more here or in an e-book in the future. 

It could be that my tentative searching and struggles will help others who want to 'let go and let God' but find it really difficult in some way or other. 

For now, I see how resting in God is the natural outcome and outworking of His grace. Its benefits become clearer as we begin to rest in Christ's finished work on the cross and our new identity in Him. 

My friend, maybe God has been signalling to you a need for rest. Could it be time to draw back a bit from busyness as we draw closer to Easter?

Pause a while to ponder as we walk the path of the cross with Jesus. Wonder anew at His mercy and grace as we trace His way to Calvary.

Hope springs eternal in human hearts. The cross is a rallying cry for all mankind. It is calling to you too.

The Lamb of God has come to pave the way for us to return Home to the Father's heart and find our soul's deepest rest in relationship with Him. 

Over to you

What does resting in God look like for you?

What helps or hinders the process?

Please feel free to join in with the comments below. Your words matter. Thank you. :)

Thirsty

During the run up to Easter I find myself feeling adrift. I haven't been well enough (as usual) this year to attend any church services, spend special time with family or friends, nor to engage with all the usual paraphernalia such as buying cards, eggs, flowers, and celebration food.

Even my good intentions over Lent have fallen foul of my frailty.

No observance fully kept, no meditation continued, no readings completed. 

I have failed in every way to observe Easter.

Or have I?

Is it about the special services, the trappings around the edges, or something else?

As I read the biblical accounts of the crucifixion recently, I came to three words that stopped me in my tracks:

"I am thirsty"

Jesus speaks these words in John's gospel (John 19:28). 

In order to address the perceived physical need - unsurprising with outstretched limbs impaled to a cross in the heat of the day - He is offered a sponge soaked in sour wine (vinegar) to sip from. What seems like a generous gesture is both inadequate and insulting.

With thirst left unquenched, the Son of God is made to partake more of humanity's bitterness and gall as He hangs dying on the cross, poured out like a drink offering for our sake.

This act is preceded by Jesus calling out, "Eloi, Eloi, lama sabacthani?" which is translated as "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?" (Mark 15:34 - 36)

Which suggests Jesus had not only an understandable physical thirst, but also an emotional and relational one. For the first time ever, as He took upon Himself the sin of the whole world, His holy, righteous Father could not look upon or be in fellowship with Him. 

Their intimate, loving union and communion was broken. And I think that must have broken Jesus' heart. I believe He thirsted, even in that relatively short time, for all that He had known before.

Instead of the personal intimacy of 'Abba, Father', Jesus now addresses His Father as 'God', indicating the temporary loss of what He had always experienced - unending closeness and intimacy.

In taking on humanity's sin, Jesus endured that painful separation so that we could become reconciled to God and able to be in relationship with Him as our loving heavenly Father.

I have thirsted for many things in my life:approval, great relationships, fulfilment and comfort, good career prospects and material success.

These days, the thing I tend to thirst for most is greater health and strength.

All of the things mentioned above are fleeting and subject to change.

The fundamentals of life we require above all - Acceptance, Love, Security and Safety -  are, however, fully met in relationship with God.

I think of Jesus coming out of the river Jordan after He has been baptised by John, and continue to link Him inextricably with a river of life, hope and faith, that runs through us now by His Spirit.

We see Him offering Living Water to the Samaritan woman in John 4:1 - 26  (you can read the full account by clicking on the link). 

At the start of their conversation, Jesus requests a drink from her as she is at the well drawing water. Do we ever stop to think how Jesus, our Living Water, may thirst now?

Perhaps He is thirsting for:

Our time

Our attention

Our company

Our love

This Easter, as we ponder the deep meaning of the cross, empty tomb and Resurrection Morn, maybe enjoying church and family celebrations, let us take a moment to consider what ways Jesus may be desiring us to be in relationship with Him.

Even if we know Him now.

Even if we follow Him.

Even as we read His word.

Even as we fellowship together.

Is He our main focus?

Is His presence the one thing we are thirsting for above anything else?

A Prayer

Dear Lord, 
We have no difficulty seeing our need of the things you offer us;
Your mercy, grace and forgiveness are what we long for
and our souls require daily watering by Your word and Spirit.

Yet our hearts can fail and quail at the thought of you wanting something in return.

What can we give to You that You do not already possess?

We offer our hearts,

we offer our lives,

we offer our thanksgiving,

adoration, prayer and praise,

service and sentiments.

Then we hear you saying,

"I miss you. Come and be with Me"

"I love you. Come and lean on Me"

"I desire to help and heal you. Come and rest in Me"

"I have much to teach you. Learn from Me"

"I long to hear your voice. Speak with Me"
For in our busyness we can fail to spend time in Your Presence.

Whatever You are saying, Lord,

give us ears to hear,

hearts to respond,

spirits that are willing

and souls that delight to be with You - always.

Amen.

Points to ponder:

What does Easter symbolise for you?

Is there a way you can make it more meaningful and special?

I'd love you to share your thoughts in the comments section below.

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