Out of darkness

A child develops in darkness. Entombed in the womb. 

Cushioned and cradled within its comfortable confines.

They grow toward the day when they will emerge, blinking, into the light.

Stretch tenuous fingers toward all that awaits to embrace them.

At a point in time they will draw in air, breathe independently and become a living, wriggling, blood-stained crying reality to those who have anticipated their arrival.

Each new birth holds a degree of mystery and wonder, unfolding of a life that is as yet unknown, unfamiliar, no matter how well prepared the parents may feel beforehand.

Scripture speaks of the anticipated arrival of Messiah, Servant-King, God Incarnate.

Years of waiting culminating in "to us a child is born, to us a son is given", a child like any other in appearance yet with a huge weight on his tiny shoulders.

This Christ-child is to be called "Wonderful Counsellor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace" (Isaiah 42:6) and One who will "reign on David's throne and over his kingdom, establishing and upholding it with justice and righteousness from that time on and for ever" (Isaiah 42:7).

He developed and grew in the secret place, in the deep dark space, in the area where only God sees and meets with us.

He came to be the Light-bringer, Light-bearer and Light-giver to all who walk in darkness.

His time encapsulated in the womb echoed His desire to fully enter into all our frail humanity, to lay aside His majesty, come into our darkness.

It is said of Jesus' coming, "The people walking in darkness have seen a great light; on those living in the land of the shadow of death a light has dawned" (Isaiah 9:2).

I wrote this little poem recently about being in a time of darkness:

In coming to earth as a tiny, defenceless, dependent baby, Jesus identifies with our weakness and fragility.

In coming to earth as a bringer of holy Light, He reveals God's desire to overcome the darkness that exists both within and without us. 

In coming as a child, developing in the depth of a warm, watery womb, He experienced a taste of being without visible light yet still intimately and vitally connected to God the Father.

He had the light of life within Him continually, just as we can experience when we come to faith in Him and His Spirit comes to live within.

Here's the thing:Don't we get to know and experience God most in the dark side of life, in the painful circumstances, the challenges and hardships we face?

Aren't we more aware of Him when we need help rather than when we feel confident and capable?

Our heaviness of spirit tips hopeful toward the light of His presence, wanting to feel lighter, to loose the load we bear and hand it over to God, our Burden-Bearer.

"Anyone who has ever known him has known him perhaps better in the dark than anywhere else because it is in the dark where he seems to visit us most often" ~ Frederick Buechner in 'Listening to Your Life' 

And just as we long to gather our own children to safety and shelter, to comfort, reassure and give them support, so God calls us out of the dark ways that threaten to kill and destroy our very souls.

"I will lead the blind by ways they have not known, along unfamiliar paths I will guide them; I will turn darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth" ~ Isaiah 42:16

As we await the celebrations of Christmas there is much to ponder in the interval.

Advent speaks of a coming, a watching and a waiting. It also speaks of an arrival.

The curtain is lifting. The stage is set. God enters human history as one of us.

We live the other side of the blind darkness, of the deep distress, of the lost hopes and dreams.

We are chosen, redeemed, beloved and precious to God.

We are a people called out of darkness into His glorious light.

We are destined to be light-bearers and light-bringers for those still in darkness.

Once we see the great hope we have from being in Christ, there is every reason to have joy in this season and beyond.

Let us look beyond the confines of our circumstances, breathe deep of Holy Spirit power, stretch wings of faith and hands of praise toward the One who brings light, love, hope and joy into each and every day ~ if we allow Him to. 

Jesus sees and knows our every weakness. He came to save, to suffer, to die for you and me. We have the challenge of letting Him live in and through us.

You and I can be born again, brought into the light, freed from the grip of death and darkness, given a fresh start.

Thank you for joining me in my Advent reflections which began here.

I look forward to sharing with you again soon. May God bless you and keep you, and shine His light strong in the dark spaces and places of your life.

A labour of love

I watch the Philosopher move rhythmically with his sleeves rolled up, hands kneading dough with practised movements, swaying and singing loud (considerately wearing his headphones due to my M.E hypersensitive hearing) as he listens to Dragonforce's 'Sonic Firestorm' album.

Faint whispers reach me of 'My spirit will go on' and 'Fury of the storm' blasting his ears, the two tracks conveniently serving as optimum stretching time.

And I marvel yet again at how relatively few minutes hard labour, coupled with several hours of waiting, of course, will give birth to a new rising of heavenly scented, mixed ochre-and-umber-tinged loaves bursting with goodness.

Bread-making is both art and science. A labour of love. A miracle of nature.

Even if he began the craft in an effort to economically appease the fussy particularity of his wife, it has become a real pleasure to him as anticipation mounts over how this batch will turn out.

For it isn't always the same. Much can disrupt the end result. 

On a bad mood day, the bread resists all efforts to come out well as it appears to absorb his feelings or fall victim to neglect and forgetfulness.

A happy day produces happy loaves rising smooth, high and steady, tasting as good as they look.

Isn't that the way things can be for us all?

We have days where our interest, concentration and focus are caught up effortlessly in attending to the Living Bread that is Christ. Such days flow with an ease and grace which feel restful.

And there are others where we are seemingly indifferent and life can treat us much the same.

Yet God's word is our daily food and sustenance,an essential part of a healthy spiritual diet. We grow weak without its nutritious nourishment filling our souls, appearing satiated on the outside yet dying of malnutrition within.

Where are we looking to be filled? Are we reliant on people approval, page views, comments, stats, followers, opinions that resound with our own, compliments, cheering and crowd pleasing?

Are we feeding ourselves on Facebook 'likes', twitter messages, Klout scores, our social media platforms? If so, then we risk facing alternate days of feasting and famine as attention is paid to us, or not as the case may be.

Or do we sit with open, receptive hearts, come empty to the throne of grace, shutting out all else and focusing on God alone as we await our daily supply?

Sadly, not always. I have been sleeping in many mornings lately as M.E and SAD contribute to make me lethargic and sleep heavy. And I was upset at first to miss my time with the Lord that had been carved out since January, 'Jesus Calling', bible, notepad and pen at the ready.

It was more than a habit. I craved and needed this space to feel sane in a world that soon spun me sideways. It didn't feel right to rush headlong into hurry.

And I was all the sweeter to be around for taking that time to spend with God. 

Irritability sits close with pain and fatigue for me.

Even so, God gave me special grace to see that His plan for me on those long slumber days included getting better rest and not to beat myself up over it. 

For I was in danger of making the routine a ritual not to be broken, an idol perhaps.

Then more days passed. I no longer worried if I missed my special mornings with God; after all, He wasn't giving me a hard time over it, was He?

Apathy is a close bedfellow to adaptation. How easily we fall prey to it.

Soon, it became clear... this wasn't about routine, habit, pleasing God or pleasing myself... this was about losing something infinitely precious.

In missing and not making up the shortfall, I was desperately hungry on the inside, hungry for God's companionship, hungry for His wisdom, hungry for His insight and inspiration, hungry most of all for His Love wrapping me close before other things caught attention and closed my mind to Him.

Now, my heart longs to chase after the staff of life as found in Christ. My soul craves Life.

Even as my natural heart's desire may be sleep, more sleep please.... as I seek after God's heart I know all my basic needs will be fully met in Him.

In spite of being able to read the Bible at other times of day, and pray whenever I want to, it can all fall flat for me if I haven't connected with Him before I connect with the rest of life.

Without daily ingestion, manna grows stale, mouldy, hard and crusty.

Our lives revolve around giving out to people and things. It can leave us empty vessels, dry husks of no help to ourselves or anyone else.

How can we give of our best if we lack vital communication with our Life-line, a daily supply of grace, moments spent resting on our Rock, leaning, being strengthened, being nourished in order to break off manna for others?

God will ensure that all is used for His purposes. Not a crumb is wasted.

Next to knowing Him in close friendship and intimacy, all else pales into insignificance and leaves us feeling famished again unless we feast at His table once more.

As yeast bubbles in the bowl signalling new life to come, may we bubble over with Holy Spirit anointing that spills over into the lives of others, and rise as living examples of God's grace and provision to feed, sustain and nourish in every good work.

*********

Linking here (rather later than intended) with the lovely Kelli Woodford for #concretewords where we seek to write out spirit from the abstract. This week's prompt is:'Bread'. 

You are very welcome and warmly invited to join in.

Journeying:Where it All Starts

Every life begins with a journey. As tiny infants we have to make our way into the world to truly commence on this adventure. It is taken as we traverse the birth canal, or maybe enter the world via a Cesarean Section.

The wonder of our time in the womb is a continual marvel that we are privy to in some small measure with intrauterine images.

Though nothing fully prepares us for the moment of arrival as we await the birth of our infants. Each one unique and special.

That time period of 40 weeks (more or less) is a miracle of Divine knowledge, planning and foresight.

God knows the secret place where conception takes place and the child develops. He is with us even as we flex and grow away from public view or scrutiny.

For those few weeks of our lives we literally live, move and have our being in Him as well as in our mother's womb.

I wonder what secrets we might have whispered to us by Holy Spirit's life-giving breath?

Sadly, I can only speculate. But I am sure we are welcomed, affirmed and celebrated even before we draw breath in the world outside this maternal home.

There is a secret that I've had to sit on for a few (excruciating) weeks when I longed to shout it from the rooftops:

We are on the way to becoming grandparents at the end of this year!

And I'm so excited I want to tell all.

So here is the news - leaked out publically now with permission from my youngest son (phew!) - and here is the poem that it inspired:

'Little One'

"For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb..my frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body.." ~ Psalm 139:13 - 16

Little one,

barely grape-sized 
foetal-curved comma

nestling in your warm and watery cave,

I want you to know

how precious you are

to this family

and most of all to the One

who gave you spark of life

His the arms

now cradling you safe

as you stretch and grow

from tiny speck to tiny infant

His the voice

soothing with lullaby

of peace and rest

to your soul in slumber

All that you are

and all that you will be,

all the days yet ahead

span out like your starfish fingers

eagerly embracing the future

Take hold, sweet child,

take hold of His hand

and grip tight

Those are hands of love,

offering, rejoicing over you

with singing, an endless refrain

caressing with His grace

Rest there safe

until time is ripe

for your grand arrival,

when we too will

cradle, love and soothe

your tiny frame

©JoyLenton2013

"All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be" ~ Psalm 139:16

This is part of a new series on journeying. I've written before about my God-sized dream journey and more aspects of life's journey will follow in time to come.

You can keep in touch with my posts by joining with Google Friend Connect, following on Twitter or by liking my Facebook page.

Another layer of the onion

Writing publicly inevitably means being seen, being open, being approachable.

Normally, I like to highlight issues and areas of life I am encountering or going through.

It is a revelation of a kind.

Now I am about to peel off a whole new layer of the onion.

Those who visit here often will know I haven't exactly hidden much.

Today is a little different. I am lifting the lid on the weird, wacky, quirky parts of myself.

I am doing this purely because 3 friends kindly put me into the Liebster Award.

This is a way of highlighting and recognising smaller blogs, while introducing you to other bloggers and building community. Sounds great. 

Thanks very much to:

Rachel Edwards who first nominated me and triggered off the process.

Ruth Povey who seconded that and whose questions I had already made a stab at answering in draft form.

Amanda Fanger whose nomination and kind description of me as "a poet whose inspiring words always come at just the right time for me", finally catapulted me into completing this!

They are all beautiful friends, writers and bloggers, each with their own unique style and perspective. Do click on the names to check out their great sites. 

Sorry it's taken 3 separate nominations over the last few months to stir me into action! Please consider this my response to you all.

Here are The Rules (which seem to vary according to what you read):

• Post 11 random facts about yourself
• Answer the questions the nominator has come up with for you
• Create 11 new questions for the bloggers you have nominated
• Choose other bloggers - (anything from 5 - 11 with under 200/300/500 followers) to nominate and link to them in your post
• Go tell them about the nomination!

Eleven Random Facts:

1) Growing up, my family consisted of 1 non-identical twin sister,1 half brother, 7 half-sisters, plus 1 step sister and 2 step brothers.

2) I still bear scars from early childhood accidents: catching my thumb in a mangle, splitting my head open, falling on barbed wire and getting knocked down by a car. Just naturally clumsy I guess.

3) I used to eat odd things as a child: my cardigans, garden greenery, treacle sandwiches instead of Sunday lunch and baked beans for just about every meal. Thankfully, I grew out of my weird diet.

4) My favourite colour is purple. It makes me feel relaxed and I really need more of it in my wardrobe. Though teal is a close second, and I'm quite partial to...clothes in general.

5) Clinique's 'Aromatic Elixir' and 'Yria' by Yves Rocher are 2 of my favourite fragrances.

6) I am sadly without a middle name - but open to all reasonable suggestions (apart from ones I give myself - eg Verbosity or Procrastinator)

7) I love scarves and necklaces (cheap and cheerful is fine) and feel naked going out without one or sometimes both together.

8) I've still got all my wisdom teeth - and a pathological fear of dentists.

9) Really dislike tapioca, liver, sprouts and mushrooms - for no particular reason apart from the taste and texture, the colour, the flavour..urrgh!

10) Love dark chocolate, fruit, anything my OH cooks...also aromatherapy oils, gels, candles -  though you'll be relieved to hear I don't eat those.

11) Hate heights, confined spaces, judgemental attitudes, victimisation of any kind.

Question Time:(These questions are from Ruth)

If you could meet you, but 10 years younger, what advice would you give yourself?
Put God first, family second, friends next and others after. Savour the moment. Live for today. Deal with stress before it consumes you. Enjoy the physical freedom you have. Believe you are loved, beautiful, special.

It's been a rough day - do you need company, or time alone?
A bit of both. TLC from my Other Half is always welcome. Time to rest, heal, restore and renew is best done alone. Peace, Quiet and Dark are often an M.E sufferer's best friends.

A book that changed you?
Tough one. All books affect us and change our perspective to some degree. Have read many self-help types as well as general fact and fiction, but the one book that has altered my life profoundly is the Bible.

Any recent embarrassing moments?
Er...too numerous to mention...let's see..realising I hadn't responded to the first 2 Liebster Blog nominations. And, I hate to say it, but I used to think that LOL meant 'Lots of Love' until I was corrected.

What does a typical Saturday look like for you?
Not so very different from any other day really. Our 2 sons are both married and we have a pretty constrained lifestyle due to my chronic sickness and my husband's mental health problem. It is a day when sport/football captures most of his attention. We chill out as much as possible, maybe get a takeaway and watch a movie on Sky Premier. Time to relax mostly.

Favourite place to be, outside the house?
A coffee shop. Anywhere with friends or family. Or sitting by a river, near the sea, watching life go by. Love wildlife and people watching - actually not too dissimilar. 

How do you choose what to write about?
Usually the topics largely choose themselves. I always pray for guidance, inspiration and the wisdom to know what to write.  Keeping a notepad handy makes it easy to jot down random ideas/thoughts as they occur - even if I have to get out of bed sometimes - one never knows when inspiration will strike! I've found it really useful and challenging to be part of the God-sized dream this year, (as well as joining in with #FiveMinuteFriday and #concretewords) and write on set topics. 

Who inspires you?
Well, apart from the Holy Spirit, I would say almost anybody and anything. Could be from reading a book, blog post, tweet, message, listening to music etc. Try to remain open to any whispers of wisdom and insight that might cross my path.

What sort of music comes out of your speakers?
Mostly my Other Half's choice which is pretty eclectic, including: Dragonforce, System of a Down, Third Day, Kutless, Newsboys. I enjoy some of these as well as Bob Dylan, Queen, Leonard Cohen, Phil Wickham and Casting Crowns among others.

How do you feel about roller-coasters?
Best avoided or tackled on an empty stomach.

Socks. Sensible or robots?
Have a mix. Silly and sensible. A bit like me.

Here is my list of nominees 

PS: I have no idea how many followers you actually have - no offence intended!

1) Lucy Mills - on faith, writing and life - one of my first blogging friends and a fellow M.E sufferer. I love her quirky and individual slant on life. Deep topics discussed with thought-provoking lightness of touch.

2) Lynda Alsford - random thoughts from an ex-parish evangelist - who has courage to ask the hard questions and battle through life's challenges. I admire her faith wrought stronger through struggle.

3) Joan Hall - writes about life, love and faith - a lovely encourager who is refreshingly open about the writing process and enthusiastic about sharing her experiences to help others.

4) James Prescott - discovering hope in the messiness of life - one of the most encouraging and supportive people I know, even as he battles his own problems. A great friend, social media guru and gifted writer.

6) Dorothy.M. Stewart - about writing, life and God - a seasoned author (and preacher) who has the ability to write with empathy on hard times, sensitivity on delicate matters and with humorous simple enjoyment of life in general. Also a great encourager and supporter of other writers.

7) Helen Murray - because I'm just a child on a long journey - approaches life and faith with an open, inquiring mind and heart. I love her ability to invade the mind of biblical characters in her writing - just sublime.

8) Chris Morris - living a life of hope - a really inspiring person as a bold and determined seeker of answers to life's hard questions about sickness, pain and faith.

9) Debby Bolton - living better with an invisible illness - a great inspiration in how she endeavours to encourage others to live well with chronic illness, with her creativity spanning art, journalling and keeping the home clean.

10) Kelli Woodford - chronicles of grace - a relatively new find for me on the blogosphere. Kelli writes transcendently about life, love and grace in the midst of bringing up her family. I love her expressive, grace-filled prose.

Here are your questions (courtesy of Amanda - tweaked a bit by me)

1) What's your favourite food/drink/eating establishment?

2) If you watch television, what type of programme do you like best? Do you have a specific show or series you never miss?

3) What are the essential components of the writing process for you?

4) If you had to participate in something outside your comfort zone, what would it be?

5) What skill or trade would you like to learn or wish you had?

6) Pick a person, living or dead, you feel your ideals most clearly align with.

7) Pick a genre you don't normally write in, but would like to, and say why you chose that one.

8) What motivates you? What is your passion? What gets you out of bed in the morning?

9) Aside from writing/blogging/social media/promoting, what else do you like to spend your time on?

10) If you could be anything, what would it be? (Let's see how creative you REALLY are!)

11) What human characteristic or trait do you admire most?

PS:You can add a different Liebster Award badge/button to your blog than the one I've chosen here. There are quite a few available.

To keep in touch with my usual blogging routine you can link through Google Friend Connect, subscribe by e-mail or like my Facebook page.

Continuation

Hi,
Welcome. I won't keep you long. It's true I love to chat - as those who have read previous posts or follow me on Twitter can attest. My prose and poetry seem to have grown exponentially longer as my confidence in sharing them has grown too. Oops!

Verbosity is probably my middle name

And it's just so easy to go on and on..and on..But, fear not, I am going to be brief today.

Sighs of relief all round, do I hear?

I'm simply offering you a pause for thought to catch your breath and appreciate the glory of the natural world around you with its own cycle of continuation and change.

I have provided a Poetic Aperitif below to whet your appetite. More to follow soon!

Your own thoughts and reflections are, as always, very welcome.

'Continuation'

Drifting, burnt wood-smoke

hazing;

A filigree tenderly 

kissing the boldness of sky -

Dropping into the lap

of a thousand hills

that rise

noble and strong

as the earthiness

that supports them.

Languor of years

stretching timelessly,

as the theme

repeats itself

to our own

pulsating melodies.

©JoyLenton2012