Moving toward the light

I'd woken early that day, managed to catch the first tentative rays of incipient dawn breaking into the grey leaden gloom of a winter morn.

My soul was soothed by the sight of sky sighing out its pale-rose beauty.

Marvelling anew at the glory signs, my thoughts tumbled out in these poetic lines:

"Early morn
Earth speaks
with whisper
Dawn of a new day
Soft skies yawn
Make way
for silver streaks
of muted grey"

So far, Winter has wrapped itself round me like a duvet, a smothering, muffling cover. 

It's been an invitation to rest, to sleep, to recover from a month of being flu-filled, bed and housebound, hibernating and waiting for a semblance of life to return to these weary bones.

Though, no matter how weak and worn we may feel, God is always whispering through each day to ears, eyes and heart ready to receive His voice.

In the natural, my own morning-misted eyes see poorly with the softened, blurry, distorted vision of myopia, but my inner spiritual lenses enable me to see life more clearly.

I can see and sense enough to grasp that here lies invitation to embrace new beginnings, a new day, a new season, a new perspective even if only faintly seen and understood. 

Sometimes, we yearn to bring things into brighter focus, at others we are glad to see imperfectly.

Maybe prefer to turn our faces to the wall, hide in the dark, bury ourselves in anything rather than looking with a clear-eyed gaze at all that fills our lives, and all that lies beyond our current state of knowing.

We feel like we can barely handle the minutes before us, never mind hours, days, weeks or months. And who knows what the future may hold?

Life can weigh heavy and tip us sideways. It can be a real effort to remain stable.

I've felt like that lately. Have hardly had the wherewithal to face the day, let alone the next, and so on. Each one bleeding slow into another, seeping away into dark corridors of sickness and pain.

And now? I have been resting beneath the shadow of Abba Father's wings, pausing to be at peace, to receive all the comfort and protection I need from the One whom no foe can withstand. 

Externally, wintry weather persists, but internally I feel like I'm having an early Spring, a surfacing of sorts, a moving toward the light.

Hope is rising. There is (finally!) far more to life than a bed full of soggy tissues, the smell of eucalyptus and menthol permeating the air, painkillers, throat soothers and hot lemon drinks (with honey) at hand.

There is a future to this year beyond influenza. God is healing me, slowly but perceptibly. Some measure of strength and energy is returning ~ hooray!

As I come alive to life again, I have a deep gratitude for being able to breathe easy, to sniff scents other than medicinal ones, to eat with some appetite and without food tasting like cotton-wool, to have a voice that isn't always too croaky to have a conversation, or ears too blocked to hear.

My mind is ready to read a bit more, to begin to think clearly, to focus, prepare for the new things God wants to reveal to me.

Yes, I will still need to rest, pace and pause from too much interaction or busyness of mind and body to avoid relapsing. That's a given for someone with M.E and chronic illness. 

I won't stop learning more about being thankful, recording the positive in the midst of adversity, seeing God's hand at work in the everyday minutiae and being grateful for small mercies.

Because they are always there. We don't always need to put glasses on or contact lenses in to see them. He finds a way to make things clear when we look to Him and ask Him to make our hearts tender and receptive.

Dependency and weakness may feel challenging to our independent souls, whereas they can become the very vehicles God uses to reveal His goodness and grace to us most of all, an opening to deeper knowing.

"My grace is enough; it's all you need. My strength comes into its own in your weakness" ~ 2 Corinthians 12:9 (The Message) 

Over to you

How has God manifested His grace and strength to you recently?
Have you been able to see God's hand at work in your trials and tribulations?

Out of darkness

A child develops in darkness. Entombed in the womb. 

Cushioned and cradled within its comfortable confines.

They grow toward the day when they will emerge, blinking, into the light.

Stretch tenuous fingers toward all that awaits to embrace them.

At a point in time they will draw in air, breathe independently and become a living, wriggling, blood-stained crying reality to those who have anticipated their arrival.

Each new birth holds a degree of mystery and wonder, unfolding of a life that is as yet unknown, unfamiliar, no matter how well prepared the parents may feel beforehand.

Scripture speaks of the anticipated arrival of Messiah, Servant-King, God Incarnate.

Years of waiting culminating in "to us a child is born, to us a son is given", a child like any other in appearance yet with a huge weight on his tiny shoulders.

This Christ-child is to be called "Wonderful Counsellor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace" (Isaiah 42:6) and One who will "reign on David's throne and over his kingdom, establishing and upholding it with justice and righteousness from that time on and for ever" (Isaiah 42:7).

He developed and grew in the secret place, in the deep dark space, in the area where only God sees and meets with us.

He came to be the Light-bringer, Light-bearer and Light-giver to all who walk in darkness.

His time encapsulated in the womb echoed His desire to fully enter into all our frail humanity, to lay aside His majesty, come into our darkness.

It is said of Jesus' coming, "The people walking in darkness have seen a great light; on those living in the land of the shadow of death a light has dawned" (Isaiah 9:2).

I wrote this little poem recently about being in a time of darkness:

In coming to earth as a tiny, defenceless, dependent baby, Jesus identifies with our weakness and fragility.

In coming to earth as a bringer of holy Light, He reveals God's desire to overcome the darkness that exists both within and without us. 

In coming as a child, developing in the depth of a warm, watery womb, He experienced a taste of being without visible light yet still intimately and vitally connected to God the Father.

He had the light of life within Him continually, just as we can experience when we come to faith in Him and His Spirit comes to live within.

Here's the thing:Don't we get to know and experience God most in the dark side of life, in the painful circumstances, the challenges and hardships we face?

Aren't we more aware of Him when we need help rather than when we feel confident and capable?

Our heaviness of spirit tips hopeful toward the light of His presence, wanting to feel lighter, to loose the load we bear and hand it over to God, our Burden-Bearer.

"Anyone who has ever known him has known him perhaps better in the dark than anywhere else because it is in the dark where he seems to visit us most often" ~ Frederick Buechner in 'Listening to Your Life' 

And just as we long to gather our own children to safety and shelter, to comfort, reassure and give them support, so God calls us out of the dark ways that threaten to kill and destroy our very souls.

"I will lead the blind by ways they have not known, along unfamiliar paths I will guide them; I will turn darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth" ~ Isaiah 42:16

As we await the celebrations of Christmas there is much to ponder in the interval.

Advent speaks of a coming, a watching and a waiting. It also speaks of an arrival.

The curtain is lifting. The stage is set. God enters human history as one of us.

We live the other side of the blind darkness, of the deep distress, of the lost hopes and dreams.

We are chosen, redeemed, beloved and precious to God.

We are a people called out of darkness into His glorious light.

We are destined to be light-bearers and light-bringers for those still in darkness.

Once we see the great hope we have from being in Christ, there is every reason to have joy in this season and beyond.

Let us look beyond the confines of our circumstances, breathe deep of Holy Spirit power, stretch wings of faith and hands of praise toward the One who brings light, love, hope and joy into each and every day ~ if we allow Him to. 

Jesus sees and knows our every weakness. He came to save, to suffer, to die for you and me. We have the challenge of letting Him live in and through us.

You and I can be born again, brought into the light, freed from the grip of death and darkness, given a fresh start.

Thank you for joining me in my Advent reflections which began here.

I look forward to sharing with you again soon. May God bless you and keep you, and shine His light strong in the dark spaces and places of your life.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder

Some habits die hard.

They require great persistence, perseverance, prayer, hard work, faith, and an abundance of grace to overcome.

One such habit is that of speaking negatively about ourselves.

How easily we slip in to it.

I can barely register my reflection in a mirror without having to resist the temptation to sigh, frown and groan.

Years of conditioning and believing the wrong things have left their mark mentally, never mind the physical ravages of chronic sickness and signs of sinking flesh as I grow older.

Low self-esteem comes naturally to those who feel "framed, boxed, categorised, sifted, found wanting in society's eyes" and that's quite a few of us for starters.

It's not just about physical beauty (or the lack thereof) either. We can feel ugly on the inside too.

What tends to get forgotten is that we were fearfully and wonderfully made by One who pronounced us perfect in His sight.

God sees beauty in our brokenness and He already sees us perfected in Christ.

He looks at us through the eyes of grace and wants us to see ourselves in the same light.

"Can you trade your criticism for his gentleness and your impatience with yourself for his everlasting care?" ~ Holley Gerth 'If We Could Have Coffee'

Our lives here consist of being changed from glory to glory. 

And the amazing thing is, we have the life and light of Jesus within us by His Spirit. 

It shines with a radiance all of its own as we exchange our ashes for His beauty.

When I saw the topic Holley had given us this week {'You are beautiful..as you are'} I snorted derisively at myself,"Well that's one to miss. What do you know about looking or feeling beautiful?"

And I concede my ignorance.

Who would feel beautiful 'as they are' when most days they wear PJs, have bed-head, no make-up on, look exhausted and ill?

But I am learning.

Learning to silence the inner critic.

Learning to look in the mirror of His word and believe I am who God says I am.

Learning to rise up and refuse to receive any derogatory labels (self-imposed or otherwise), pigeon-holing or negative comments.

And, friend, it's hard work. It's a battle each and every day to have our minds transformed. But it's also worthwhile.

Because if we believe the lie that we are less-than, ugly, worthless, failures, then the enemy is winning the battle in our minds.

God wants us to have that mind in us which is also in Christ Jesus, and that includes seeing ourselves through His eyes as our minds are gradually renewed.

Beauty is said to be in the eye of the beholder. 

Well, guess who is beholding and pronouncing you beautiful, just as He has since He planned for you to be here? No less a person than God Himself.

We are far more than our appearance suggests. Man looks at the outward appearance but God looks at the heart.

Our inner beauty? What does that look like? 

A spirit surrendered to God is eternally youthful, ageless, beautiful.

Giving out a glow to warm other hearts and lives. 

A light to dispel darkness.

A heart beating in tune with the One who made us.

An offering of hope, grace and encouragement to others.

And who wouldn't want to be beautiful like that? I know I would.

Accept, believe and receive it, my friend:"You are beautiful..as you are"

Joining here with Holley and Jennifer. 

Let me tell you a story

Our lives are wrapped around story. 

We live, breathe, and have our being in God's great narrative.

And it becomes clearer as we co-operate with Him in the unfolding story we are all a part of.

Each tale we tell has a beginning, middle and end.

Each story we are currently living out is ongoing, yet with great potential for change.

Today, I invite you to pull up a chair, grab a coffee and make yourself comfortable as I share some of my story with you.

As one who is nearer the tail end than the beginning, I share by way of third person narration, looking back on myself as I was as a child.

Let's begin...

Once upon a time, a little girl liked nothing better than to curl up with a good book. Spurning slumber, she sat tent-like in the bed-sheets, devouring the current favourite before her by the light of a tiny torch.

Reading in bed meant potentially disturbing her sister and maybe incurring the disapproval of parents. Reading anything much altogether, unless it was schoolwork, or comics bought to buy her silence, was frowned upon. 

Even as her mother sat at table, ash falling carelessly, book in front of her and fag in hand, ignoring her children; it was never seen as desirable behaviour to adopt.

Wasn't childhood meant to be lived out of doors? Out of sight and out of mind of the adults. What a waste of time to bury yourself in books. Best to get out and play.

Yet it meant so much. Escape. Diversion. Distraction. The world around already crowding in too close for comfort. Adult life breathing hot, whispering, secrets and lies that sent a shiver of dread down her spine and distaste souring her thoughts.

Writing was another release as she poured out her heart in poetry and prose. Here, she could be who she wanted to be, lose herself afresh in make-believe.

All too soon, life's demands caught up with her and she found herself seeking other avenues of distraction, walking unsafe pathways, down dead-ends, pleasure seeking that brought no joy, still bending herself to the will of others.

One day, when drawn deeper still down dark tunnels of despair and destruction, she encountered a man bearing a lamp. The Light-bearer approached gently. He held out a hand of warmth and welcome.

He spoke words of reassurance and offered covering - His robe of righteousness and mantle of grace in exchange for the dirty rags she was wearing.

A new sensation grew in her heart as trust began to bloom again, filling and flooding her with hope. Someone was taking notice. Someone cared.

She was grateful for the new robe and loved to bury her face in its downy softness. After a while though, she forgot she was wearing it. Her old weeds of worry, worthlessness, shame, disgrace, guilt and pain wound their sinuous way around her once more and clung tenaciously.

Hope died. Her light dimmed and she lived for many years in Shadow-lands as one naked and ashamed.

Darkness shrouded her days as they passed in a blur. She gave every appearance of being alive while dying slowly on the inside.

Yet the Light-bearer's lamp flickered briefly, reminding her that He was still present, despite seeming so far away she thought He'd left her side.

She hid. Herself, her talents, her hope  and dreams all buried deep. Her creative ability to express herself hidden away so far she forgot she had ever had it.

Until...

A Voice called her name. Faint and indistinct at first, then growing stronger. 

And she heard the Light-bearer come near, sensed the fragrance of His presence changing the very air she breathed, filling her lungs with a sweet perfume to cancel out the stale odours she'd been inhaling for so long.

He spoke:"Let them fall. Those old clothes don't fit who you are anymore as a child of the King. All those years when you felt lost, out of place, sad and alone, I was with you. All that time when you wished you had a different life, different family, I had already bought you into Mine and given you new life. Now, take My hand and walk with Me into the future I have planned".

Her throat constricted. She gasped and cried. And as she put her small hand in His she felt alive once more. More alive than she had felt for years.

Perhaps she could resume reading His book and find comfort and reassurance there? 

Maybe she could begin to create, to write again? Let words pour forth as water. Or was it a discarded dream, never to return?

As if reading her mind, He bent low, took her chin in His hand with utmost tenderness, and said, "My beloved. You will write. You will pour out your heart once more. You will tell of your journey through the dark places and the Light waiting to guide you home. And in the telling you will help lead others back here too."




Then He wrote this upon her mind and heart:


"I love you. I always have and I always will. You are safe with Me" and He signed it, 'Jesus'.

**Note:It's been a period of great challenge physically and emotionally in my life recently that has brought up painful issues from the past. I didn't think I could join in with this week's #Letter to link-up which has the prompt:'Letter to my younger self' (over at Melanie's place this time) until God gifted me with a different way of writing it.

It has been an encouraging affirmation to me of God's overwhelming love and care. And my hope and prayer is that it will have blessed you too as you read it.

If you only take one thing from this post, please remember - Jesus loves you very much. He really does.

Grace Revealed

Welcome. I'm so pleased you dropped by. You never know what I might have for you.What if I was to offer you a Free Gift today? After all, who can resist a present? 

Depends on the gift, you might say - especially if you are always having to throw out the unwanted junk mail paraphernalia that usually comes with large strings attached from unsolicited companies.

Besides, you don't know me.
Sounds suspicious, right?

Nothing is really free, is it? 
Everything has a cost and a price to pay.

How would you react if someone you didn't know offered you a free gift? Like this possibly:

• With suspicion
• Derision
• Hostility
• Rejection
• Disbelief
• Curiosity
• Intrigue

Some of you may be tempted by the offer. And if you held it in your hands you might sniff, shake, feel it carefully, look for a label, admire the wrapping and even want to open it to reveal the contents as curiosity got the better of you. 

Usually a gift indicates that someone has thought about and wants to bless us. For it is only in examining The Gift that we can judge its worth

Well, you will be relieved to know I don't have a dodgy free gift to offer you. My poetry and prose are the only gifts I am offering here today.

But I can point you to the Greatest Gift that God has to offer us. The offer of Salvation, Forgiveness, Restoration, Renewal, Healing and Transformation.

The best news is : It's Free

"For God so greatly loved and dearly prized that world that He even gave up His only begotten unique Son, so that whoever believes in, trusts in, clings to, relies on Him shall not perish (come to destruction, be lost) but have eternal everlasting life." ~ John 3:16 Amplified

In my Introduction to the series of Grace Notes I mentioned that the word 'grace' means 'unmerited favour' amongst other things. I cannot go any further with this topic without speaking about how God best reveals His grace to us through His Son.

We have all fallen short and missed the mark of the standard God desires for our lives. There was nothing and no-one else good enough to pay the price needed to restore us to a right relationship with Him -  apart from the sacrifice Jesus made on the cross.

"For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith - and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God - not by works, so that no-one can boast." ~ Ephesians 2:9

This is Grace Revealed indeed:God's Riches At Christ's Expense

The poem below offers further insight into this amazing grace:

'Grace' 

Light in our darkness

hand clasping hand -

healing, forgiveness

a line in the sand

Suffering and Sorrow

impaled to a cross,

blood flowing freely

our gain - Your loss

Heaven's gate opened,

for our sin debt You died.

Now given entry

as You're crucified

Dawn breaking forth
in glorious array.

Tomb standing empty -

Resurrection Day

Risen, ascended,

a New Era starts;

Your Spirit now dwelling

within human hearts

©JoyLenton2012

"I asked Jesus, 'How much do you love me?' 'This much,' he answered, and he stretched out his arms and died" ~ Anon

This leaves us with a decision to make. Do we act like babes and toddlers when given a present and show greater interest in the outer wrapping of grace but ignore the actual present and remain ignorant of the giver?

Or do we accept it, receive it with gratitude and thanksgiving and learn to prize it as the best gift ever?

Yes, it does come with a price to pay. Jesus laid down His life for us and expects us to surrender ours to Him  in return. This is a gradual, life-time process. But the rewards are enormous. We will be looking at more of the attributes and benefits of grace in the weeks ahead.

For now, this is a tantalising glimpse of The Gift and The Giver to reflect upon as we close with a prayer:

Dear Father,

As we reflect upon Your grace we are overwhelmed by the great love 

and compassion you have toward us in sending Jesus to die for our sins.

 Thank you that He died to give everybody an opportunity to get to know You and experience the abundant life You have planned and long for us to enjoy as we surrender our lives to Him. We can only have a limited understanding in this life of the great Divine Exchange. Help us to see more and to fully appreciate the blessings we have in relationship with You as You lead and guide us each day.

Amen

Please feel free to join in the comments below. I love to read and reply to them.

You can also keep in touch by signing up to e-mail.