When you're between a rock and a hard place

Have you ever had your own words come back to haunt you? 

It happened to me this week. Not spoken ones, but those I'd written.

Just recently I wrote about how loneliness felt to me as a child.

Memories were stirred and feelings soon followed.

Several weeks ago, I wrote a poem about being set free. 

I felt led to post it on social media a few days ago.

Little did I know how my own words would seriously stir me.

Set me free

Set me free

I no longer want

to be ensnared

by the chains

 of my past or

held fast by fear

for the future.

Set me free

to fly uncaged

in the current 

of your grace

as I release

all that I am

and can be

into your

 loving embrace.

©JoyLenton2013

The next day I felt those chains wind tight. And I fought to draw air.

Being blind-sided by your past is a painful place to be in. Isn't the past another country where my visa has expired? Maybe.

We can ignore it, except memories make a return inevitable. Revisiting the ruins. 

Now, vulnerable to feelings I'd forgotten, experiencing afresh pain slicing through me, wounded anew by words in my head, I cower.

No bravery here with a troubled mind returning to deep waters that could drown me.

Only....they won't... if I know how to swim rather than sink under the weight of them.

I have a choice to make - stay stuck in the pain of the past or work through it and move forward.

Thankfully, I also have access to hope and courage beyond myself.

There is an Anchor for drowning souls. We cling to Him when all feels lost and we can barely keep our heads above water deafening in our ears.

I have this to cling to...I have a Saviour who sweat blood to purchase my freedom. I have hope rising phoenix bold from the ashes. I have strength sown in despair. 

When we're between a rock and a hard place there is hope of seeing change when the Rock is Christ.

He provides shelter and protection when the storms of life hit and His steadfast strength gives us resilience to press through mountains of shame, pain, discouragement, disgrace, sickness and dis-ease of every kind.

Faith can move mountains. 

Not faith in my own small, wavering mustard seed faith, but faith in the One who can move mountains.

Yes, even this. No matter how high, how wide, how deep, how immovable it may seem.

The mountain mover stands ready on our behalf.

We have promises from the ever faithful One.

We have knowledge that pain does not last forever, joy comes in the morning and help is only a cry, a breath, a prayer away.

And healing from a painful past is a process, not a one way street with closed access. 

Some wounds may need lancing with the laser of His word. 

Some cuts may need the antiseptic of His grace, a salve to cleanse and soothe.

For we cannot emerge unscathed from those things which cut deep and wound the very fabric of our being, and God has to dig deeper still and rout out what will poison our system if left untreated.

How I have wished never to have been wounded as I was. And, how amazed I am, over and over again, at the way God is tenderly treating those wounds and binding up my broken heart.

My friend, His work takes time, patience and perseverance and we lose heart in the waiting, don't we? Our greatest desire is for overnight transformation. 

But a mighty oak doesn't grow strong overnight and we are called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of His splendour ~Isaiah 61:3.

I know how long it can seem when change is so very slow in coming. 

I've felt so discouraged lately and needed every reminder I can get that healing work is taking place. But God never loses heart or hope in you and I becoming all we can be in Christ

All He asks of us (and how huge an ask it can feel) is that we allow Him to show us the painful places and fully co-operate with His work in us one tiny step at a time.

Even as we daily battle fear and struggle to see any progress.

Things are happening in the unseen realm that will become visible one day.

Friend, those mountains may resist, but they are moving inch by inch. And one day we will see the difference. Instead of looming large, our mountain will be a shadow in the distance.

Our journey of faith is wrought through testing, trial and suffering and made all the stronger by the overcoming of them.

One day, you and I truly will be set free and 'fly uncaged in the current of (His) grace as we release all that (we are) and can be into (His) loving embrace'.

For now, we lean hard on the Rock and resist falling apart as He holds us together.

~~~~~~

What are you learning in the waiting process?

How do you overcome discouragement?

Let's share our journey of faith together and encourage one another on the way. Don't we all need that?

Please feel free to join in with the comments below.

This post is part of the Journey series that began here. 

To stay in touch with my posts you can join by Google Friend Connect or find me here on Facebook.

How we can feel lonely but are never alone

Welcome to a space and place where there is friendship, companionship and sharing. Here, as I participate in Five Minute Friday, perfection is laid aside and words pour out freely with no over-thinking, editing or worry.

It's a great writing challenge that often stir deep waters from within as memory rises to the surface.

Today's prompt is:'Lonely'

START...

Lonely 

Lonely is a space to crawl into, away from noise and clamour of voices that shout too loud or whisper with hot-breathed closeness, singing a song she has no words for or ability to join in.

A seemingly safe and warm place where dreams dwell and longings lie in soft hushed sighs and tears flow free.

A life peopled by those meant to be family and all but a few are strangers to her heart. 

They push away and reject the essence of her personality and crush her fragile heart as rose petals falling to ground.

She looks hard in all the wrong places for love and acceptance, with resigned willingness to bend to another's idea of belonging and togetherness.

Though a stone sits heavy and sinks inside her as she tastes bitter waters rising.

There is no true belonging here.

Her heart empty with a God-shaped hole crying out for a Saviour.

He comes.

Hands open in offering.

He gives freely where others simply took.

He loves unconditionally.

He fills her heart to overflowing with a new song.

This is Jesus - her Heavenly bridegroom.

She will be His and belong to Him for all eternity.

She may feel alone sometimes, even in a sea of faces, but she is lonely no longer.

STOP

Linking here with Lisa-Jo Baker for Five Minute Friday. You are warmly invited to join in. Just write your piece, link up and visit the person next to you to offer encouragement and support.

To stay in touch with my posts you can subscribe by e-mail or find me here on Facebook.

Of swans and men

A touching scene.

Mother and babies swimming along serenely.

A riverside walk with glories for eyes to see, though most were glued to a screen.

Walking blind.

Hand, mind and will absorbed by electronic communications.

Totally oblivious to the wonders around them.

Beauty all around in sight, sense and sound.

One watched and wondered. 

He had eyes to notice that there were more cygnets born fluffy-soft, downy-brown and small in the nest than remained close to mother now as they floated along in their watery home.

His sight undimmed to life around. His senses attuned. 

Yet his own appearance meant that others gave him a wide berth.

Nothing fragrant here. Shabby, grass and life-stained clothes hanging loose on his frame.

Scuffed, messy, and marked out by his strangeness. 

A man on the margins. Adrift from the crowd. Alone and apart.

Holding hope and compassion for these creatures in his heart...and a bottle of booze in his hand.

More glinted close by. Fag dangling limp from sweat and saliva-slicked lips.

Heat and odours rising as he moved to settle more comfortably.

Not a man to deserve a second glance. Only a quick glimpse and quicker retreat.

But he saw things other eyes failed to see

Swans afloat with cygnets missing. 

Weeping willows bent double to kiss water.

White poplars bestowing snowy kisses falling like manna on a toddler's upturned face.

Fish frolicking beneath the river's surface.

On the road above, holiday traffic sounds muted, yet there is a discernible hum of cruisers on this floating pathway as they chug-purr soft and slow to aid a tan.

Passersby linger at a bridge spanning sun-drenched path and cool, watery splash beneath.

Dragonflies hover in an iridescently vivid dance.

For there is much to see with eyes wide open

We see how God loves the tramp/wino/hobo (if we care to label folk as such) as much as He loves us.

We see that "there but for the grace of God go you and I".

We see how unprepossessing,stumbling, clumsy, unformed creatures can become white with purity and grace.

Recognising, with awe-struck, thankful hearts, that God deliberately chooses men and women that the culture overlooks, exploits and abuses.

He specialises in making somebodies out of nobodies.

For our fallenness cannot keep us from being beautiful in God's sight 

We can miss so much of life around us if we don't take time to look.

Sometimes it's good to peel our eyes away from the screens of our life and focus them on the colourful canvas of creation which God has given for our enjoyment.

This world is a showcase for His glory.

And we are the pinnacle of His creation.

My friend, you are dearly loved and precious to God. He sees beauty in you, even if you or others fail to.

But His desire is for you to see it too, to sense the potential you have as a child of God.

Take a look in the mirror of His word and breathe deep the sweet promises of who you are in Christ. Savour life-giving,soul nourishing, transformational truth.

Notice the difference it can bring to how you see yourself and others.

In Him you are chosen, special, precious, loved and gifted, a work in progress, being changed from glory to glory, a trophy of His grace, undergoing healing and restoration, and a recipient of His goodness for today and eternity.

I am thankful the man viewing swans had eyes to see beauty in the world around him.

And I'm even more grateful for how God notices us, His hands offering all of life's fullness and potential to you and me.

Linking here with the lovely Sabrina over at Just Keep Singing for the 'Letter to' series. This week's prompt is:'Letter to the one who noticed'. You are very welcome and warmly invited to join in. The link up takes place every 1st and 3rd Tuesday of the month.



To stay in touch with my posts you can subscribe by e-mail, join with Google Friend Connect, or find me here on Facebook.

When stories are woven by grace

Welcome to another foray into Five Minute Friday where we write freely and words are captured with no over-thinking, over-editing or worry about perfection. 

It is a great creative exercise, scary and strangely liberating all at the same time, and really challenges you as a writer.

Today's prompt is:'Story'

START..

Weaving a story

Image courtesy of freedigitalphotos.Net

Words must flow. A story begs to be heard. Ears are ready to receive even as heart quakes and hand shakes in the telling.

Pour forth your words as water. Only in the unstopping can we be free.

Life needs to be shared as gift for another wounded soul to see and receive.

Our offering becomes the opening of a door to their freedom.

Let loose the words, pain and shame of a story you didn't choose to be part of. 

And in the undoing, unravelling, relief will come.

We are the ones chosen to be glory revealers.

Our lives the tale of God's greater narrative on the earth.

A story of hope, healing, forgiveness, renewal and redemption.

With lives made new.

Slowly, tenderly, God draws all the messy, tangled threads together with warp and weft of His choosing.

Weaving the pattern He desires to make.

Where we see knots He sees new opportunities.

Making a thing of beauty.

A showcase of His grace.

And as we yield to the Author and perfector of our faith our chains fall loose. 

We can stand free.

A life washed clean, anointed and equipped by Love.

A story of restoration waiting to be shared.

Our stories woven into the fabric of eternity.


STOP

Linking here with Lisa-Jo Baker at Five Minute Friday. You are very welcome to join in as we aim to share and encourage one another by our words.


To stay in touch with my posts you can subscribe by e-mail, follow on Twitter or like my Facebook page.

Mind the gap

When gaps appear in our lives they can yawn empty as chasms.

Where is the next big thing coming from?

Isn't it time for something new?

Well, maybe, maybe not.

Sometimes the space indicates loss, missing things, opportunities, relationships.

Even a tiny gap in our teeth can feel huge with tongue exploring round, never mind the cavernous emptiness when a loved one leaves or passes away.

Hearts ache and bleed their loss.

I've been living what feels like a lifetime in the gap, in the waiting-room between the here and now and where I want to be. And it hurts. Maybe you're there too.

When dreams fade and reality kicks us in to touch, when all we have is the memory of what we perceive as normality, then it may just be the time to look at the in-between life differently.

Between sickness and healing.

Between pain and purpose.

Between desire and destiny.

Between confusion and understanding.

Between valley and mountaintop.

Between this world and the next.

What if we could see the gap between where we are now and where we want to be as a learning experience?

If we could stop and savour the moment, right here, right now.

Feel the pulse beat of our own hearts slow and steady to match His.

Find grace and find God.

For He's already here.

Arms wide open. Ears attentive. Heart and senses finely tuned. Voice ready to whisper His wisdom.

He is ready to receive us whenever we pause long enough to notice.

Yes, even when we build walls to close those gaps - walls of resentment, ignorance, pain, confusion and shame.

God's love still seeps through the cracks and empty spaces

Even as we rail and resist the dull and the dry and the downright boring.

Even as we race to fill our lives with anything or anyone, spurning the painful places we dare not venture into.

Dreading the dark and quiet of our own lives.

A thousand unanswered questions on our lips and no time to wait for a reply.

He'll fill those in-between spaces and all our empty places if we let Him

Each day offers us such spaces. 

Resting places. Opportunities for openings.

Breathing stations on the way, if only we could see them as such. 

They are potential grace glimmers, soul savers and survival stopgaps.

Life has many slow, mundane moments. Room for pauses. Listening places where wisdom can be imparted.

The ordinary can become extraordinary depending on our attitude.

"We were made to wait, to long for things unseen. This is the place from which dreams and desires come. It's a place of trust - and we find it not in the resolution, but the incompletion" ~ Jeff Goins 'The In-Between:Embracing the Tension Between Now and the Next Big Thing'

My friend, you and I will find that in-between the mess and muddle of life a message to share is developing.

In-between our tests and trials a testimony of God's grace is shaping itself.

Here, as we are now, between living and dying, every moment counts. Nothing is wasted. God uses every crumb.

I'm still struggling to fully embrace the in-between life as hope deferred makes the heart sick and waiting for life to improve or change can feel like an eternity.

But I want to learn to enjoy the in-between existence because it's where most of our learning and growing take place.

Faith is stretched. Trust develops and grows. Patience can have its way in producing perseverance and endurance.

And perhaps we can learn not to mind having gaps in our goal-getting, pit stops in our progress or spaces in our schedule. 

Will you join me in attempting to live well in the waiting-room places of life? 

We can share and encourage one another to stay strong, live mindfully, be present in the moment and maybe enjoy the journey more because of it. 

How do you feel about the pauses in your life?

Have you found ways to savour the moment?

You can read more on embracing silence here

Or think about savouring the moment here

Please feel free to share in the comments below. I love to hear from and reply to you.

The book quoted from above, 'In-between:Embracing the Tension Between Now and The Next Big Thing' is a new one by Jeff Goins, author of 'Wrecked'. 

It's a beautifully written, semi-autobiographical account of learning to live well in the in-between spaces and places of our lives. And in doing so we may even discover our true calling.

Jeff speaks with a great deal of insight, wisdom and wry humour. It's a powerful, pacey read, full of anecdotal experience to back up the helpful information shared.

I highly recommend it as a truly helpful and informative read to encourage us to make the most of our journey of life and faith.

Beauty in brokenness

Welcome to Five Minute Friday, a great creative exercise which yields surprising richness in a short space of time.

This is where we write from the heart as words pour out as water, spilling on to the page with no worry about over-thinking or perfection.

Today's prompt is:'Broken'

START...

Broken Image

Seeing a mirror image

flawed, imperfect

drowning in brokenness

where we see cracks

 you see courage

where we see flaws

you see a flood of forgiveness

where we see holes

you see opportunities to fill

our woundedness 

mirroring your own

as you took human flesh

our brokenness 

like your body

pierced and torn

wearing our darkness

corruption within

and now we lift eyes 

still hesitant to view

ourselves afresh in you

for you see 

beauty in ashes

hope in despair

joy in grief

perseverance 

through pain

and you bring 

restoration

of all we have lost

broken lives

minds and bodies

can be healed 

and made new

let love embrace

let grace repair

all broken places

we despair of 

ever being mended

seeing in the glass 

darkly here

until you lift the veil

reveal the glory

your light within

make us whole again

let us know that

renewal, hope

and healing is here

if we only look

away from ourselves

and up to you

the Mirror 

of our wholeness

©JoyLenton2013

STOP

Linking here with Lisa-Jo Baker and with Missional Women Faith Filled Friday.

You are very welcome and warmly encouraged to join in.

To stay in touch with my posts you can follow on Twitter, subscribe by e-mail, or find me here on Facebook.

Being set on fire

It was one of those days.

Trouble and strife slipped in uninvited. 

It waits on the threshold of our lives and sneaks in where cracks appear in our defences, our walls are weak with vulnerability, our armour rusty from lack of use and a space is created to enable access.

I was laid weak with weariness, further depleted by infection, drooping with fatigue and more sleep-deprived than usual due to nights made hot and heavy with heatwave and frequent tossing and turning.

Going about my normal morning routine of assembling coffee when it scalded hot, found its way on to skin covering forearm and hand, splashed over dress, legs and feet, seeping and scorching.

It's one of those rare, usually manageable tasks I am capable of with M.E.

Weakness and fatigue make kettles and coffee pot a danger zone I don't consider too much when drugged with exhaustion - just the time when I should.

Stilled by shock, having already alerted my OH of my debility a minute or so before as a pain spasm made me wince aloud.

Now, he heard a new urgency in my tone and came running.

He dealt with floor and hob while I ran limbs under soothing cold, pausing only to remove clothing and footwear.

Cold ice packs applied in rotation to stem the fire searing my right arm and left hand, which caught the worst of it, closely followed by aloe vera and lavender gel to soothe and aid healing.

Spills were mopped up, clothes changed, sandals wiped, coffee put in front of me as I tried to bring cup to lips with shaking hands.

Sitting stiff with nerves tingling painful, smarting senses alive, I felt washed with gratitude that the damage was less than anticipated and my momentary lapse in concentration was treatable with first aid at home rather than necessitating a hospital visit.

Here was God's grace in action in preventing worse trauma.

And as I sat with throbbing, burning pain, I thought of how easily we can bring stinging pain to another life by ruining of reputation, slander, misunderstanding and gossip. Scalding deep. Wounding.

We may also know someone who specialises in doing that to others. I do. She's a near neighbour who takes the concept of 'neighbourhood watch' to a whole new level.

Seemingly oblivious to her own faults and failings, she exaggerates and freely points out those of others. Or it may be your property that has flaws (real or imagined) which she reminds you of regularly while ignoring her own.

I'd never thought I had enemies until I realised that one who irritates and annoys me (rather like a stinging nerve) can be counted as such. 

She makes me (and my OH) flare up, see red and feel heat rise within.

We may even harbour people like that under our own roof, perish the thought.

So this neighbour from hell...(literally?) ...well, certainly a great provoker and irritant...has made life very trying at times. 

Her words may set other lives afire in the wrong way but she is just as needy of the cooling waters of grace as anyone else is, maybe more.

And it's so often the case that their own unhappy lives or painful situations can drive people to try to destroy the good in others.

They can become self protective to an alarming degree. Seeing faults in all around yet none in themselves.

We too have tongues lit like matches that can set a forest alight when we speak inadvisedly about others.

A word out of our mouths can heal and bless, or by our speech we can ruin a reputation, turn harmony to chaos, send the whole world up in smoke and go up in smoke with it.

Jesus asks us to give a drink to our enemies if they thirst (and who doesn't thirst for the living Christ even if they are unaware of it?) and to be light for others.

This is not necessarily how we would respond instinctively. We tend to fear that which feels strange to us. Yet we needn't.

Because all of us are reliant on the saving grace, deep forgiving love of God and the transforming power of His Spirit working to change us from the inside out.

And if it takes an encounter with near boiling liquid (as happened to me) to make us more aware of His grace, then God can use any and everything to help us to live and love more as Jesus does.

I am healing. Recovering from the shock I had. A wake up call of sorts, perhaps? A warning to keep my guard up against the enemy of our souls? Maybe.

Whatever it was, I am grateful for the lessons it has taught me. There is so often a blessing to be found the other side of a brick wall.

I don't know about you, but I want to be set on fire by God's Spirit, to blaze fierce with His love and compassion, burn bright with His grace rather than be consumed by irritation, anger and frustration or become burnt out and weary of well doing.

Let us lay down those things that consume us which will one day be consumed by God's purifying fire.

Let us lay hold of the soothing, calming waters of grace and sprinkle, yes, even pour and flood them on others; be a river, an outpouring to refresh and heal wounded souls.

Over to you:

Have you struggled to get on with challenging people?

How has God taught you about His grace in surprising ways?

This is part of the 'Grace Notes' series where areas of God's grace are noted in our lives, revealed and shared. Do feel free to join in with the comments below. I love to hear from you! Thank you.

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