Awakening to potential

A quivering occurs deep in our souls. An inviting ripple on the waters, an opportunity to stretch our wings and fly free.

This one won't go away. It resurfaces when we least expect it.

Our lives are about to change and we run scared instead of running toward it with open arms.

Not all of us can greet change with cheer, or equanimity at least.

It feels unsettling, ground shifting, mould-breaking, day-defining and life-liberating all at once.

It calls for a new challenge, a new level we feel unprepared for.

So we quake. Even if we know those soft spoken sounds are Holy Spirit sighs.

I'm in a time of transition, waiting to walk into a more spacious place emotionally and spiritually. It requires recognition of what's being said, and response to all God is currently asking of me.

And, truth be told, I. Don't. Feel. Ready. I want to rewind time to one of blissful ignorance.

Those urgings are calling me out of a place of seeming safety, a place where I was bound but couldn't see it, and leading me into the Light, into Truth, into freedom, into God's presence and rest.

The slumbering season is over. Our souls need to wake up to the potential all around. When God is speaking, we do well to listen.

He gentles us forward saying this isn't all or nothing, impetuous crash and burn; this is a slow growth in the right direction as I lead and guide you. This is a warming to My words, an inner alertness to My voice, a gradual unfolding of My plans for you. Trust Me to keep you, to hold you safe throughout.

Maybe you're in this unsettling place too? 

Hearing and trying not to heed it?

We can be deep-bone weary from all types of pain, yet strangely wary and reluctant to move away from its suffocating embrace if it means treading into new territory.

Because what we know, what we are familiar with feels like home to us, however dark it may be in reality. Our pain is our pain. We live and move and have our being in it, don't we?

Actually no. We live and move and have our being in God. He is our Strength, our Hope, our Deliverer and Healer. 

Healing frequently comes in stages, by degrees, by unloosening, yielding and surrender rather than by sudden illumination and ability to receive it.

I've had God close some powerful doors in my life recently, doors which I'd inadvertently opened to the enemy when I was younger in years and understanding.

Once he has been denied access to areas he has tormented us in for years, the enemy will do everything in his power to try and regain that territory.

Doubt, fear and unbelief insinuate a way in, wrapping their tentacles around our souls. We need to guard our hearts, wear the full armour of God and be vigilant.

We have a spiritual battle on our hands and a continual need to reaffirm our new position, make declarations of faith from God's Word and sow seeds of positivity into areas that were always negative before.

Yes, we rest secure on the promises of God, but we also have our part to play in holding on to our healing and deliverance.

It's hard work but it will be so worthwhile to see results, to be prepared for The Next Big Thing God wants to do in your life and mine.

Some days I feel scared of transition and transformation. When we've believed lies for years, then our minds have to slowly become renewed by the Word and our hearts grow strong in faith.

Here's a prayer for all who are where I am now, or sense they soon will be. Let's begin to embrace hope, embrace the light, and embrace joy in knowing we are already victorious in Christ.

If you are weary and wounded

It doesn't take much to make us feel hurt sometimes. Sensitive people bleed easy and bruises remain.

Some wounds scar deep. The past pervades the present and we feel worn out and weary of fighting for another day.

Other wounds may be raw, fresh, scalding mind and body alike with their intensity.

Living joyfully and freely looks so enticing but how do we make the leap and traverse the chasm between where we are and where we long to be?

I've been a walking, crawling wounded one for many years now and some days I just want to curl into a corner, squeeze myself as small as I feel on the inside and hide away.

I love to encourage others, yet sometimes find it hard to encourage myself. Maybe you too?

When that happens, I aim to be David-like in strengthening and encouraging myself in the Lord during adverse circumstances. There is more going on than eyes can see or heart and mind realise. 

Worldly lenses need to be removed and spiritual ones applied in order to see and sense the miraculous in the mundane, extraordinary in the ordinary, sacred in the secular.

And we need intercession and compassion for others to overrule dwelling on our own limited perspective of things.

Because aren't we all hurting people in some shape or form, and doesn't it take more than a measure of faith and grace to get through to a place of deliverance and praise?

I've been reading 'Finding Spiritual Whitespace:Awakening Your Soul to Rest' by Bonnie Gray rather sporadically over the last few weeks because I have needed long pauses to pray and work through the suggested activities in my own time.

In chapter 5 Bonnie asks us to:

'Write a letter from Jesus to the little girl in you. What does He want to say to her? What does He see that she needs? Give yourself permission to write this letter. Allow God to love her through you.'

Here's the result of my prayerful cry and God's reply. As my inner child cried out to be heard, Jesus breathed these words into my mind and heart so they could find their way on to the page.

If you can relate to feeling rejected, neglected, weary and wounded, abused or refused in a deeply personal way, then this love letter from God may be helpful to you too.

I have removed a few lines destined for my heart alone, but enough remains to be shared. May it speak to the child in you, the one who remains lost and lonely, with low self-esteem, craving approval and acceptance.

May you see and believe that you already are accepted, loved, pre-approved and precious to God.

'Letter from Jesus'

"I want you to know there is nothing to be scared of when I walk with you; nothing shall in any way harm you. You have the Light of the world living on the inside of you and the One who exchanges beauty for ashes and joy for despair.

I give you a robe of righteousness to wear and a garment of praise for a spirit of heaviness. The troubles and cares of life have sucked joy out of you, leaving an empty, hollow shell. I have come to refill you with a holy joy that no-one can take away. 

This oil of joy pours from being in My Presence, seeps into the fabric of your whole being and lubricates an attitude of gratitude.

As you linger with Me, take time to rest, relax and let go your burden of care. I will refill and refuel you to shine for Me.

Those broken places and ancient ruins long devastated will be restored, rebuilt into a habitation fit for the King of kings to dwell in. 

I have never left your side for a second. I have bottled all your tears, lovingly collecting them drop by drop. I have witnessed the pain of rejection and abuse you have suffered and I wept with you.

Come, My child, come close. Lay your weary, anxious head on My shoulders and let Me soothe and comfort you. You feel old beyond your years yet full of child-like yearning and longing that no-one and nothing else can satisfy.

I see the ache in your heart and I long to fill it for you. But first the ache and pain must be accepted and acknowledged, the emptiness, joylessness, guilt, shame and despair seen and confessed so I can address them.

You hold back from fully loving those closest to you because you feel afraid that deep down you are unlovable and they'll reject you if you open yourself fully to them. This fear is unfounded. They see the 'real' you and, just as I do, they love you for who you are, as a person of worth and value in her own right ~ yes, even as a flawed and fallible 'work in progress.'

Do not be so hard on yourself or critical of who you are. I made you, created you to fill a role and live a life tailor-made that only you can fill and live out to fulfil My plans and purposes. See yourself through My eyes, believe you are beautiful in My sight and precious to Me just as you are. 

Take My hand and walk with Me. I will lead you to safe pasture. I will give you rest and ease, bring a lasting peace no matter what circumstances you go through. Trust Me to take very good care of you all the days of your life and beyond into eternity.

One day you will laugh and dance with Me. One day you will be free from wounds and pain, and your tears will only be those of joy and delight in My constant Presence.

You will know and be fully known, love and be completely loved for ever. I promise.
Love always, Jesus."

********

Linking here with encouraging friends, Holley and Jennifer as we seek to share coffee for your heart and tell His story in the process. You are very welcome and warmly invited to join in. 

When you're between a rock and a hard place

Have you ever had your own words come back to haunt you? 

It happened to me this week. Not spoken ones, but those I'd written.

Just recently I wrote about how loneliness felt to me as a child.

Memories were stirred and feelings soon followed.

Several weeks ago, I wrote a poem about being set free. 

I felt led to post it on social media a few days ago.

Little did I know how my own words would seriously stir me.

Set me free

Set me free

I no longer want

to be ensnared

by the chains

 of my past or

held fast by fear

for the future.

Set me free

to fly uncaged

in the current 

of your grace

as I release

all that I am

and can be

into your

 loving embrace.

©JoyLenton2013

The next day I felt those chains wind tight. And I fought to draw air.

Being blind-sided by your past is a painful place to be in. Isn't the past another country where my visa has expired? Maybe.

We can ignore it, except memories make a return inevitable. Revisiting the ruins. 

Now, vulnerable to feelings I'd forgotten, experiencing afresh pain slicing through me, wounded anew by words in my head, I cower.

No bravery here with a troubled mind returning to deep waters that could drown me.

Only....they won't... if I know how to swim rather than sink under the weight of them.

I have a choice to make - stay stuck in the pain of the past or work through it and move forward.

Thankfully, I also have access to hope and courage beyond myself.

There is an Anchor for drowning souls. We cling to Him when all feels lost and we can barely keep our heads above water deafening in our ears.

I have this to cling to...I have a Saviour who sweat blood to purchase my freedom. I have hope rising phoenix bold from the ashes. I have strength sown in despair. 

When we're between a rock and a hard place there is hope of seeing change when the Rock is Christ.

He provides shelter and protection when the storms of life hit and His steadfast strength gives us resilience to press through mountains of shame, pain, discouragement, disgrace, sickness and dis-ease of every kind.

Faith can move mountains. 

Not faith in my own small, wavering mustard seed faith, but faith in the One who can move mountains.

Yes, even this. No matter how high, how wide, how deep, how immovable it may seem.

The mountain mover stands ready on our behalf.

We have promises from the ever faithful One.

We have knowledge that pain does not last forever, joy comes in the morning and help is only a cry, a breath, a prayer away.

And healing from a painful past is a process, not a one way street with closed access. 

Some wounds may need lancing with the laser of His word. 

Some cuts may need the antiseptic of His grace, a salve to cleanse and soothe.

For we cannot emerge unscathed from those things which cut deep and wound the very fabric of our being, and God has to dig deeper still and rout out what will poison our system if left untreated.

How I have wished never to have been wounded as I was. And, how amazed I am, over and over again, at the way God is tenderly treating those wounds and binding up my broken heart.

My friend, His work takes time, patience and perseverance and we lose heart in the waiting, don't we? Our greatest desire is for overnight transformation. 

But a mighty oak doesn't grow strong overnight and we are called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of His splendour ~Isaiah 61:3.

I know how long it can seem when change is so very slow in coming. 

I've felt so discouraged lately and needed every reminder I can get that healing work is taking place. But God never loses heart or hope in you and I becoming all we can be in Christ

All He asks of us (and how huge an ask it can feel) is that we allow Him to show us the painful places and fully co-operate with His work in us one tiny step at a time.

Even as we daily battle fear and struggle to see any progress.

Things are happening in the unseen realm that will become visible one day.

Friend, those mountains may resist, but they are moving inch by inch. And one day we will see the difference. Instead of looming large, our mountain will be a shadow in the distance.

Our journey of faith is wrought through testing, trial and suffering and made all the stronger by the overcoming of them.

One day, you and I truly will be set free and 'fly uncaged in the current of (His) grace as we release all that (we are) and can be into (His) loving embrace'.

For now, we lean hard on the Rock and resist falling apart as He holds us together.

~~~~~~

What are you learning in the waiting process?

How do you overcome discouragement?

Let's share our journey of faith together and encourage one another on the way. Don't we all need that?

Please feel free to join in with the comments below.

This post is part of the Journey series that began here. 

To stay in touch with my posts you can join by Google Friend Connect or find me here on Facebook.

Pass the band-aid

Hi,
It is quite likely that you, or another member of your household, has had need of one of these sticky things (pictured left) recently - depending on how accident-prone you might be, of course. 

Me? I rarely achieve shaving my legs without resort to needing one afterwards!
You may call it a band-aid, elastoplast, sticking plaster or something else.

Whether it is boring brown, hygienic white, blue, multi-hued or patterned with comic book figures, these are a staple in most family first-aid boxes. Just the job for minor cuts and scrapes. Not a lot of use for deep wounds or profuse bleeding. 

They require different treatment, usually from a health practitioner and in a hospital environment. Sometimes we carry deep wounds that we are barely aware of - they might be physical or emotional ones but the pain they bring eventually makes itself known.

If they come to our attention then we might feel that sticking a band-aid over them is all that's required. We can get by with just that, can't we?

I used to be that way. For many years, as painful emotions rose to the surface of my mind I stuffed them back down again and covered everything up. If things became impossible to ignore or deal with by myself then I tried counselling. 

After several years of trying various therapies, including hypnosis, reiki healing, aromatherapy and homoeopathy, alongside changing counsellors (about as often as I changed my toothbrush) and admitting that sometimes these things helped but more often than not they confused and hindered my 'recovery'; I was finally shocked into getting proper help.

Eventually, after I suffered a series of devastating losses - including health and career - in desperation I turned to Christian counselling and prayerful support -  not realising how long-term (we're talking years here) and in-depth it would need to be.

During the course of pouring out my understandable distress and sorrow over the losses I had encountered, it soon became clear that one loss stood out above others:

 The loss of my innocence and being robbed of a happy childhood

Now, I didn't intend to make this blog into a confessional, but that seems to be what it's becoming. I wanted to lighten the tone with some happy thoughts, light reflections and pretty poetry and had even got as far as producing a few drafts. But God had other ideas. He isn't through with the serous issues and that seems to be the area He is asking me to focus on at the moment.

Perhaps some of you can relate to how all-consuming such losses and events as I mentioned above can be in our lives until we deal with them somehow. Perhaps others will be given a window on a world they haven't encountered before.

The purpose of sharing some of my story here is to let you know that as we confront, examine and move through the events of our past, we can come to a point of being able to Let Go. In the act of letting go - especially releasing it into God's hands - we are enabled to Move On and look to the future in a new way.

God's word reassures us that Jesus came to give us:

"A crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair.." ~ Isaiah 61:3 

As an avid reader it was no surprise that I found a lot of help, support and consolation from various books during my healing journey.

The bible was (and still is) my major source of help and strength. It spoke healing into areas as I began to uncover the wounds - gingerly peeling back the layers and seeing how they festered without due attention - and allow the Holy Spirit access to them. God's loving light is a refining fire to purify and cleanse us from all impurity and remove our guilt and shame.

"Instead of their shame my people will receive a double portion, and instead of disgrace they will rejoice in their inheritance.." ~ Isaiah 61:7

I also gained insight, support and practical suggestions from 'Beauty for Ashes' by Joyce Meyer. Another really significant book that helped me tremendously was 'Breaking Free' by Beth Moore as it emphasises how to get rid of the various chains that hold us back from true liberty and freedom. 

Joyce Meyer's books are still a source of great inspiration for me. I have benefited greatly from reading 'Battlefield of the Mind' as it shows us how to get free from mental strongholds and learn to speak positively about ourselves and our situations. Needless to say, I am still a 'work in progress' in that area as in many others!

If I hadn't already had a relationship with The Healer and Great Physician of our souls, then I would have wanted to turn to Him as the best person to safely deal with my pain and bring beauty for ashes out of the mess and rubble of my ruined life

"Something beautiful, something good,

all my confusion He understood,

all I had to offer Him

was brokenness and strife,

                     but He made something beautiful of my life" ~ William T. Gaither

Sadly, we are not made perfect overnight once we make Jesus Lord of our lives but He does start us off on the journey leading to change, healing, wholeness, restoration and renewal.

If anything I have touched on today has struck a chord with you, then I urge you to seek the help you need to become a whole person again - perhaps you could begin by opening up to another person that you can trust, then maybe seeking medical assistance or counselling as required.

Believe me, I have been in that place and can verify that once the potentially frightening First Step is taken, then peeling away the layers bit by bit will eventually get easier and be releasing for you.

Freedom is achievable, though the process towards it can be painful.Think of it like lancing a wound to release the pus before full healing can occur. The only way out is through.

Please don't allow the poison of unforgiveness from the past to sour everything in the present with bitterness, resentment or regrets.

We all bear wounds and scars of various kinds as we travel through life. But the wound of unhealed trauma from the past will require more than a cosmetic solution. No band-aid will do.

 It may need professional help and will benefit hugely by being exposed to God's healing touch. Each person's journey will be different.

Those badges we wear - of shame, guilt, rejection  -are not permanent and don't really belong to us at all. We allow others to pin them on us, but they become part of our identity and we forget to remove them as we grow up.

If you want to consider how best to support another person with their problems, without offering more than a token band-aid solution,  then reading this post by Barry Pearman will aid your thinking.

Meanwhile, as we continue our journey towards wholeness, we can be 'Safe in His Arms' as sung by Phil Wickham. You won't regret taking a few minutes to listen to this beautiful, uplifting song.

Apologies for the lengthy writing and no poem today. But this topic needed space to be expressed properly. May God bless you and keep you safe always.

A Prayer

Dear Father,

We come to You in our weakness

in need of your strength.

We come to You with our pain

in need of Your healing.

We come to You in our confusion

in need of clarity and focus.

Thank you that You know us 

better than we know ourselves

and that You have already provided

for our every need in the person 

of the Lord Jesus Christ.

Please teach us to look to Him

and let His words be our guide,

His ways our example

and His love 

our great comfort in trial and adversity.
May we discover all that we can be In Christ
and may it be life changing for us.

Amen