Saturday, 3 November 2012

Pass the band-aid

It is quite likely that you, or another member of your household, has had need of one of these sticky things (pictured left) recently - depending on how accident-prone you might be, of course. 

Me? I rarely achieve shaving my legs without resort to needing one afterwards!
You may call it a band-aid, elastoplast, sticking plaster or something else.

Whether it is boring brown, hygienic white, blue, multi-hued or patterned with comic book figures, these are a staple in most family first-aid boxes. Just the job for minor cuts and scrapes. Not a lot of use for deep wounds or profuse bleeding. 

They require different treatment, usually from a health practitioner and in a hospital environment. Sometimes we carry deep wounds that we are barely aware of - they might be physical or emotional ones but the pain they bring eventually makes itself known.

If they come to our attention then we might feel that sticking a band-aid over them is all that's required. We can get by with just that, can't we?

I used to be that way. For many years, as painful emotions rose to the surface of my mind I stuffed them back down again and covered everything up. If things became impossible to ignore or deal with by myself then I tried counselling. 

After several years of trying various therapies, including hypnosis, reiki healing, aromatherapy and homoeopathy, alongside changing counsellors (about as often as I changed my toothbrush) and admitting that sometimes these things helped but more often than not they confused and hindered my 'recovery'; I was finally shocked into getting proper help.

Eventually, after I suffered a series of devastating losses - including health and career - in desperation I turned to Christian counselling and prayerful support -  not realising how long-term (we're talking years here) and in-depth it would need to be.

During the course of pouring out my understandable distress and sorrow over the losses I had encountered, it soon became clear that one loss stood out above others:

 The loss of my innocence and being robbed of a happy childhood

Now, I didn't intend to make this blog into a confessional, but that seems to be what it's becoming. I wanted to lighten the tone with some happy thoughts, light reflections and pretty poetry and had even got as far as producing a few drafts. But God had other ideas. He isn't through with the serous issues and that seems to be the area He is asking me to focus on at the moment.

Perhaps some of you can relate to how all-consuming such losses and events as I mentioned above can be in our lives until we deal with them somehow. Perhaps others will be given a window on a world they haven't encountered before.

The purpose of sharing some of my story here is to let you know that as we confront, examine and move through the events of our past, we can come to a point of being able to Let Go. In the act of letting go - especially releasing it into God's hands - we are enabled to Move On and look to the future in a new way.

God's word reassures us that Jesus came to give us:
"A crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair.." ~ Isaiah 61:3 

As an avid reader it was no surprise that I found a lot of help, support and consolation from various books during my healing journey.

The bible was (and still is) my major source of help and strength. It spoke healing into areas as I began to uncover the wounds - gingerly peeling back the layers and seeing how they festered without due attention - and allow the Holy Spirit access to them. God's loving light is a refining fire to purify and cleanse us from all impurity and remove our guilt and shame.
"Instead of their shame my people will receive a double portion, and instead of disgrace they will rejoice in their inheritance.." ~ Isaiah 61:7
I also gained insight, support and practical suggestions from 'Beauty for Ashes' by Joyce Meyer. Another really significant book that helped me tremendously was 'Breaking Free' by Beth Moore as it emphasises how to get rid of the various chains that hold us back from true liberty and freedom. 

Joyce Meyer's books are still a source of great inspiration for me. I have benefited greatly from reading 'Battlefield of the Mind' as it shows us how to get free from mental strongholds and learn to speak positively about ourselves and our situations. Needless to say, I am still a 'work in progress' in that area as in many others!

If I hadn't already had a relationship with The Healer and Great Physician of our souls, then I would have wanted to turn to Him as the best person to safely deal with my pain and bring beauty for ashes out of the mess and rubble of my ruined life

"Something beautiful, something good,
all my confusion He understood,
all I had to offer Him
was brokenness and strife,
                     but He made something beautiful of my life" ~ William T. Gaither

Sadly, we are not made perfect overnight once we make Jesus Lord of our lives but He does start us off on the journey leading to change, healing, wholeness, restoration and renewal.

If anything I have touched on today has struck a chord with you, then I urge you to seek the help you need to become a whole person again - perhaps you could begin by opening up to another person that you can trust, then maybe seeking medical assistance or counselling as required.

Believe me, I have been in that place and can verify that once the potentially frightening First Step is taken, then peeling away the layers bit by bit will eventually get easier and be releasing for you.

Freedom is achievable, though the process towards it can be painful.Think of it like lancing a wound to release the pus before full healing can occur. The only way out is through.

Please don't allow the poison of unforgiveness from the past to sour everything in the present with bitterness, resentment or regrets.

We all bear wounds and scars of various kinds as we travel through life. But the wound of unhealed trauma from the past will require more than a cosmetic solution. No band-aid will do.

 It may need professional help and will benefit hugely by being exposed to God's healing touch. Each person's journey will be different.

Those badges we wear - of shame, guilt, rejection  -are not permanent and don't really belong to us at all. We allow others to pin them on us, but they become part of our identity and we forget to remove them as we grow up.

If you want to consider how best to support another person with their problems, without offering more than a token band-aid solution,  then reading this post by Barry Pearman will aid your thinking.

Meanwhile, as we continue our journey towards wholeness, we can be 'Safe in His Arms' as sung by Phil Wickham. You won't regret taking a few minutes to listen to this beautiful, uplifting song.

Apologies for the lengthy writing and no poem today. But this topic needed space to be expressed properly. May God bless you and keep you safe always.

A Prayer

Dear Father,
We come to You in our weakness
in need of your strength.
We come to You with our pain
in need of Your healing.
We come to You in our confusion
in need of clarity and focus.
Thank you that You know us 
better than we know ourselves
and that You have already provided
for our every need in the person 
of the Lord Jesus Christ.
Please teach us to look to Him
and let His words be our guide,
His ways our example
and His love 
our great comfort in trial and adversity.
May we discover all that we can be In Christ
and may it be life changing for us.


  1. Lovely post. The road to freedom can be a long one. And the line saying 'The only way is through' is so true. Being freed from compulsive over eating means I am now feeling emotions I would otherwise have eaten away. It is painful but learning to feel emotions has been such an important part of my healing. I can't get over these deep wounds without feeling what I have pushed down.

    God bless you on your road to freedom and recover!

  2. Very sorry to hear about your childhood, sweet Joy.

    This is a beautifully written, highly helpful post. Glad we've 'met.'

    Would you consider contributing a guest post to It's a wonderful family of writers, there. I am currently scheduling for late January. Let me know.

    your twitter friend,


  3. Thank you for sharing so transparently. After two devastating years, I found a Christian counselor who offered such wise perspective and advice. So helpful! Between that, lots of prayer, journaling, Bible study and memorization, I am in a much healthier place.


    Deb Weaver