Tasting normality

Today, I pick and eat fresh home-grown strawberries, collect a few dwarf green beans, dig nails into soil, bend knees, stoop low to ground to tug dead leaves off living green.

And despite the debilitating stiffness and pain pervading my body as it resists these exertions, it feels right and good to be alive, sitting close to earth with its juice running down my chin. 

Lounging in the garden, book propped open, birds chirruping and insects buzzing. Senses alert to loveliness surrounding me, scents assailing with their sweet freshness.

I breathe deep and easy, relaxed in sun's inviting warmth, a soft breeze playing with my hair, no worries, no cares.

Noises sound from afar as children raise voices and adults admonish and comfort in turn.

Resting, yet strangely more alive and alert inside than I've felt for a long while, it seems like holy ground as I touch base, touch reality, touch the healing hem of His garment spread to ground, and revel in sights and sounds to soothe the soul. 

Lift my eyes, tilt face and enjoy a gift of grace.

Here is normality I crave with all the yearning of an addict desperate for their next fix. An afternoon where I am well enough to spend a few minutes outside and pretend that this is what I usually do, when the reality is very different.

Much of my life is lived behind closed doors, housebound, confined and constrained, circumscribed with pain.

In listening to my life there is a continual background refrain, a hissed whisper of pressure to perform, to be as 'busy' as continual low energy and profound fatigue will allow, to be 'out there', to be seen and heard.

People approval issues still haunt my days with all their persuasive ways, but I am resisting it all....for now.

I'm just too exhausted to expend precious energy in that direction. Too weary to worry and so much in need of a rest that I can resist the call to action.

My mind is on a break from listening to those messages and it's taking a vacation to soak in grace, become revived and restored by God's peace, listen more deeply to His voice.

There is an increased desire in hot, sultry weather to seek leisure and a change from the norm. Our bodies and souls crave it and we desperately need a slowing down of pace.

Normality is subjective and will vary greatly for each one of us, depending on age, occupation, situation, health and routine.

Now, as I come to the end of my break I am seeing a shift change.

My new normality is starting to shape itself like this:

• Making a gradual return to social media/blogging and resisting the lure of joining in everything all at once.
• Viewing daytime rest/naps/sleep as sacrosanct, a vital and healing necessity rather than a waste of precious time.
• Pacing, pacing and more pacing, because boring as it is it's preferable to the 'rush/crash/burn/collapse' cycle I was in before.
• Saving valuable energy and 'spoons' to spend on engaging with family, friends and the outside world.
• Seeking more sacred pauses and spiritual whitespace in the everyday.
• Having a weekly social media sabbatical/fast in order to unplug from the virtual and touch base more with the actual.
• Praying continually so that conversation with God becomes as natural as breathing.
• Listening more attentively to my body, my life, Holy Spirit's voice.
• Delving deeper into God's word, good books and uplifting music to soothe my soul.

I hope some of this has struck a chord with you too.

Maybe God is calling you to press pause on the busyness that swamps you?

Maybe it's time to re-evaluate how your precious time is spent?

Maybe our heavenly Father simply yearns for you to lavish attention on Him or to be more available for Him to pour out His Presence on you?

Maybe this is an opportunity to celebrate how God pre-approves of you just as you are, with no worries over performance or people-pleasing? 

This summer may be just the right time to rest, reach out, touch His greater reality and taste how sweet it is. 

*******

I would love to hear from you, so feel free to share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below. 

And I could really do with an 'accountability partner' or two to keep me on the new straight and narrow. Any offers? All gratefully accepted!

**Note** ~ It's great to be back to blogging, but I apologise for the rather bitty nature of this post. It was written in snippets as energy and inspiration allowed.Thank you for your grace.. :)

Can you hear me?

Hi,
Welcome. It's good to meet with you here. After all, getting connected is what it's all about, right? Never before have we had such a varied frenzy of social networks to have our voices heard on. It used to be said that everyone could be famous for 15 minutes. Perhaps that should be 15 seconds these days as the demand to be heard increases while the attention span wanes in the midst of so many conflicting messages.

Sometimes it can feel like SHOUTING (sorry - very rude of me) is the only way to claim attention ~ to make us stand out from the crowd. But does it really help us to 'get heard'? It can be hard to be our true, authentic selves when we can so easily be different things to different people as the mood/social network takes us. After all, who can tell who we really are? An element of trust is involved.

We all have an intrinsic need to feel safe, loved and accepted. It is hard-wired into us from infancy and helps us to fulfil our potential when we have affirmation and positive regard from others and an equally balanced regard for ourselves. 

How we go about meeting our desires to be heard in adult life can vary according to what extent those basic, fundamental needs were met and satisfied (or not) during our early years when the foundations of loving and being loved were laid.

When we want to connect with those we love then things are usually quite different. We have several choices before us, but nothing beats 'face- to- face' contact. Focusing and giving undivided attention may feel alien in our distracting and distracted lifestyles but it's the very life-breath of close relationships. 

Within the context of a supportive, loving relationship we can hopefully be real, let down our guards and be open and honest ~ warts and all ~ knowing that we are loved for who we are rather than for what we say or do. Rather than needing to shout to be heard, we often don't need to say anything at all. And that's so refreshingly restful!

The poem below speaks of communicating with the one you love. It can also be interpreted in the light of hearing God's voice of love speaking through creation, where His name and fame are broadcast loud and clear. Yet He also speaks with a 'still, small voice' to our hearts ~ if we desire to hear from and be in relationship with Him. 

As the Bible says: 'Before they call I will answer; while they are yet speaking I will hear' - Isaiah 65:24. 

So even if you may feel nobody else hears you, cares what you are going through or can understand you, please remember that God hears the unspoken cries of your heart. He made you, understands you better than any other person can and will fully meet your need for love and acceptance.

'Whisper Your Name'

Whisper your name in the 

cold cubes of ice that

melt with heat's breath

Whisper your name in the 

wild, swirling tussle of 

leaves on the ground

Whisper your name in the

snow that is black

with your words

Whisper your name in the

warm, woody ashes of

Winter that's gone

Whisper your name in

Spring flowers that

nod out your greeting

Whisper your name in

the heavy haze of Summer sun

and Autumn sunsets

Whisper your name,

my love

and I'll.....

whisper MINE

©JoyLenton2012