Showing posts with label at the beginning. Show all posts
Showing posts with label at the beginning. Show all posts

Monday, 8 April 2013

Well met by Moonlight

Welcome. Kick off your shoes. Grab a coffee or tea. Make yourself comfortable as we take a nostalgia trip down Memory Lane.

I am sharing a story of an experience in my life, based on the #concretewords link 'The Moon'.


By the light of the silvery moon



"How sweet the moonlight sleeps along this bank!...soft stillness and the night become the touches of sweet harmony" ~ William Shakespeare 'Merchant of Venice'

Our first proper date. 

Alone, save for the Saturday night pavement-pounding, raucous-laughter-erupting crowd above us, solitary swan or drifting duck swimming solo in the watery depths.

We chose the quiet route of whisperers and lovers. A riverside walk in cloistered dark.

Better for hiding blushes and confusion (mine) or awkwardness (his). How to traverse this bridge between friendship and what may lay beyond?

Misunderstandings were the order of the day as we attempted to find a foothold in this strange, brave new world. 

I had already flown from his bewildered side at a group Firework Party, mindful of his Ex hovering nearby and feeling myself too raw, too exposed as the Replacement Girlfriend.

Now, hugging black velvet coat to shivering body, hands digging holes into pockets, gaze averted to feet clomping in inappropriately clad water-admitting suede boots, purple swirly dress flirting audaciously in the chill breeze, I dared cast a sidelong glance at this silent demi-god beside me.

Awed by his presence. Awed further that he should have sought me out when he had girls lining up for introductions, queuing even to ask him out by giggled asides or requests from friends. And I....made liquid by his presence, weak and wobbly from his smile...hid myself and my thoughts far away.

A myriad of tiny trickling lanterns in an indigo-blue canopy of sky gave this night a starry feel. Peeking out as through slashes in a curtain, lay a silver orb with light to aid our sight, night-careful indicator of deep waters.

Wind blew chill, hands cooler still, though hearts and veins thrilled with heat of their own.

He slowed his pace. Consideration, hope and a hovering enquiry on his face. Hand held out for mine. A promise of warmth, togetherness and beginnings of the love he always held for me.


I looked away, watched the duck, feeling torn...with desire to embrace...and indecision. For in my past, lust came masqueraded as love, arms pulled away when I needed them, hands held, touched hotly when I didn't.

A legacy of shame: abused, used and rejected by those purporting to care - all did their share of destroying me inside.

Now, I beheld his gaze and it melted my reserve as I read kindness, gentleness, sensitivity and love that cared only to keep me safe. Nothing hurried. Nothing expected - apart from whatever I was willing to give.

Taking it slow, so it didn't feel like 'taking' at all. 

Love given out sweet-poured as nectar. Moon dipping low in an act of benediction, seal of approval for two friends and would-be lovers.
Such a simple act - hand holding, embracing. Such simple trust we built upon stone by stone as years of life spanned out before us
Image Courtesy of FreeDigitalImages.Net

Whispers from weeping willows lining the banks as they sunk low to water were a portent of the way tears would be as much part of our lives as tenderness.

All that came after was yet to come. I would barely emerge, blinking from the honeymoon, before my mind would break apart, personality and character lost for years as I pieced myself together again - bit by bit - by God's grace.

Further heartache and heartbreak would ensue as issues from the past pervaded the present. Storms aplenty could not tear apart or destroy, hard as they tried. We were welded and melded together by Trust.

Kept safe by the love of One greater than any circumstance that came against us.

For, God shone in that moon as He shines now in our hearts, bathing them with His love. 

Gifting us with the Light of His Presence.

Hand-holding us throughout the years - as He still does.

Now, silvery moonbeam-threaded hair, bodies and faces betraying the years, grappling once more with life's trials, tribulations and pains, our hearts pulse strong, tender and true for one another, as love... heated and tried in the furnace of affliction...comes forth as gold.

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Linking here with Nacole at sixinthesticks for this week's #concretewords post.

Do join us and practice writing about the abstract by using concrete words as a prompt.

To stay in touch you can link with me by Google Friend Connect, subscribe by e-mail, or by liking my Facebook page.

Tuesday, 15 January 2013

Let's start at the very beginning


In the words of the song  'Do-Re-Mi' from the 'Sound of Music':

"Let's start at the very beginning
A very good place to start.
When you read you begin with A-B-C.."

The new alphabet of activity I am learning for this year begins with - 'A' for Attending

My priority is:

  • To attend to God's voice
  • Listen well
  • Respond with prompt obedience instead of the usual vacillation 
  • Run to the throne not the phone
  • Make prayer less of a monologue and more of a dialogue
Sounds impressive. Gulp! Making and reading this list is one thing; carrying it out is quite another. I know my own wayward, easily distracted heart and I don't expect to be able to do these things perfectly at all.

Bad habits don't change overnight. Good habits take at least 21 days to establish. Baby steps one step at a time is the way forward.

In doing so I'm in pursuit of my God-sized dream for 2013:

'To draw closer to God and discover His specific plan for me creatively and personally'

 This week I am challenged to "Do one thing to move forward" in my goal. Scripture challenges me with these verses as I attempt to live out what I aim to achieve:
"So if you're serious about living the new resurrection life with Christ, act like it. Pursue the things over which Christ presides. Don't shuffle along, eyes to the ground, absorbed with the things right in front of you. Look up and be alert to what is going on around Christ - that's where the action is. See things from His perspective" ~ Colossians 3:1 - 3  The Message (emphasis added)
So what will it mean to 'attend' to God?
  • Wait on
  • Be present
  • Go regularly to
  • Give attention to
  • Listen to
  • Apply oneself
  • Direct one's mind and efforts towards
  • Be a companion
My one thing to move forward in my goal is:

Starting my day with reading 'Jesus Calling' by Sarah Young accompanied by 'Prayer Journal - Developing a Conversation with God' by Joyce Huggett. (Okay, 2 things really but they link together!)

The book by Sarah Young was a requested Christmas gift and I had no idea what a beloved treasure it would prove to be. Sarah shares her personal messages from the Lord over a period of time, with Bible verses linking to the theme. Many of these messages are speaking greatly into my life too. I yearn for her experience:
"The practice of listening to God has increased my intimacy with Him more than any other spiritual discipline.." ~ Sarah Young in 'Jesus Calling'
I am using the Prayer Journal's 'Prayer Jottings' section - which Joyce notes as "a place for recording prayer jottings where we write to God and He writes to us" (emphasis added) to record my conversations with God as He speaks to me in various ways from scripture, music, conversations with others, glimpses of His glory around me, art and literature, and personal words tenderly spoken directly from His Father heart to my heart.

So far I have been amazed at the amount of words which the Father is pouring into my life and equally ashamed at how little I listened before - to my detriment.

I'd like to close with a prayer by Ken Gire:


"A Prayer for Grace"

Thank you, God,

For those moments in my life
when You opened a window
and offered a word
that nourished the hunger in my soul.

Give me the grace to realize
that these are the words I live by,
not by bread alone
whatever form that bread may take
however satisfying it may seem at the time.

Give me grace to live not just reflectively but receptively,
that I may not only notice when a window is opened
but also receive what is offered,
understanding that what is offered
is my soul's daily bread.

©KenGire1996 from 'Windows of the Soul'

Pause to ponder:

What is capturing your attention this year?


Is God asking you to prioritise your activities?




In this post I am linking up with Holley Gerth's God-sized Dream. 


I am grateful to have the company, encouragement and support from Holley, her team and the wonderful women also participating in this journey. Do join us!