Entering His rest

There's something special about listening for God's voice. Making way for the mellow moments of sacred pauses in our days.

Something infinitely precious when He speaks so hearts can hear Him and draws us close to His beautiful, compassionate and loving, Father-heart.

When I received 'Listen' as my one word last year, I found myself spending all of 2014 trying to hone the skill, and I ended the year still awed and amazed when He whispered close with words He longed to impart.

There wasn't a predictable pattern. God cannot be boxed. He is calm and loving but also gloriously wild and free. The Spirit goes where He wills.

Most times, I sat expectant with Bible, pen and prayer journal at the ready, at others He spoke soft during the mundane, messy moments of my day ~ whenever He had something vital to say.

The more we practise the art, the more we become a little bit accustomed to His voice and better able to discern it above all others.

Those times of quiet listening bore fruit inwardly, teaching greater inner restfulness, peace and patient endurance that He knew I so desperately needed, and still do.

They also yielded fruit to share with others in the form of 'Prayer Whispers' to help, encourage and bless. Some have made their way into the blogging arena and others I hope to eventually make more public via a compilation to share.

So you might think I was getting seasoned in the ways of listening to God and easily able to tell what He was saying to me, wouldn't you? If only...

Well, yes, occasionally that was the case. But my own wayward heart, doubts and fears so often tripped me up... just as they're doing now.

Because, after praying for several days, I was no nearer hearing God's 'word' for me for 2015 than I was before. Various thoughts played themselves out in my head then slid silent away.

Eventually, one word made its presence known more strongly than the others.

And I was quick to reject it as a mis-hearing, because it felt wryly ironic to be hearing 'Rest' shaping itself as my defining word for 2015 while laid up in bed with an unexpected, unwanted Christmas gift of a ferocious, fluey cold virus!

I prayed, doubted and prayed some more. Gradually, God penetrated the thick mucus curtain where my brain seemed to be lodging and made Himself known. 

Yes, there was no mistake. Far from being just my usual state as an M.E and chronic illness sufferer ~ where rest and pacing are the order of the day, and a particularly necessary one right now ~ rest was going to be a strong feature of the year ahead too.

Only... I had to appreciate its nuances more than ever before. Rest means different things to each one of us.

At this early stage I can already see the type of rest God has in mind for us is so much more than a Sabbath break in our week, ceasing from physical activity, putting our feet up, taking a nap, being on vacation.

His plans for us are complete, holistic, changing from the inside out. I sense rest is no exception.

My soul needs to learn how to rest easy in His word, truly believe who it says I am in Christ, lean peaceful on His love and grace.

Maybe discover how to actually live like I'm freed from guilt and anxiety, stay rooted and grounded in faith, develop trust that replaces tension.

Rest in the finished work of Christ rather than relying on self-effort and works to somehow complete the deal.

Rest in seeing myself as pre-approved, deeply loved and called to make a difference.

Quite a bit to mull over here! No doubt more will be revealed in time to come.

And it feels as if my main priority is physical rest right now as I seek to recover from the horrible cold symptoms and try to claw back some precious energy.

Perhaps priorities will loom large as I endeavour to save energy for all I am called to do rather than all I may want to do.

Maybe there will be encouragement to make room for more spiritual whitespace, for contemplative prayer, for continuing to listen to prayer whispers and to seek His face?

I hope so. 

My soul craves deep rest; my body cries out for it and my mind desperately needs it too.

One way or another I hope to enter His rest, in fact I long to; I need to. 

One thing I am certain of:as God gives me inspiration and strength I aim to be sharing the journey here and over at 'Poetry Joy', just as I did with 2014's word 'Listen'.

Here's a 'Prayer for Rest' that you can take and make your own. Feel free to pin or use as you need to:

Over to you:

Have you had benefits (as well as challenges) from listening to God?

Has God given you a new word to ponder over for 2015?

Whether or not you've heard a 'word' yet, what do you think your main focus will be for the year ahead?

As always, I really appreciate and welcome your input here and would love to hear your thoughts in the comments below.

Surprised by joy

Can we slip easy into the shoes of another?

See life from their perspective and leave our own preconceptions behind.

Maybe discover, like a child stepping into an adult's shoes, that it looks exciting but feels quite precarious.

Stepping into another person's life ~ using our God-given imaginations and empathy ~ will soon reveal things very similar to our own, in spite of vastly differing circumstances.

Suffering and adversity are universal, though they are not easily measurable.

One person's tragedy is another's light and momentary trouble. We all have our individual sinking points and ways of reacting to them.

It is often those who say little (or nothing), yet offer to sit in the ashes with us, who make us feel less alone. Hugs can speak volumes, as can shared tears.

I used to think greater resilience grew from multiplicity of trials. Maybe it does for some.

Much depends on the severity and duration of challenging circumstances.

My experience is more like the camel's back breaking under the strain. 

And yet, the 'last straw' a human frame can handle is just the starting point for God to enter in.

When I have surrendered situations beyond my control (isn't everything, at heart?) to God, then He supplies all I require to not only keep my head above water but to swim confidently in His river of grace.

"This circumstantial wilderness is a terrible, frightening, and dangerous place; but I also believe it's a place of beauty" ~ Eugene H. Peterson 'Leap Over A Wall'

C.S Lewis wrote about being 'Surprised by Joy' when he recounted his coming to faith experiences.

I'm slowly discovering it is possible to be surprised by joy in the darkest of places.

Beauty comes forth from ashes.

Faith strengthens when we feel the fear and 'do it afraid'.

Hope springs out of helplessness.

"Believe that the deepest afflictions are neighbours to the highest joy" ~ Charles Spurgeon

It sounds like an enormous effort of will to find cheer in the midst of difficulties and problems. I'm gradually seeing that our part is to simply rest and trust in God's promises:

"Those who sow in tears, will reap with songs of joy. He who goes out weeping, carrying seed to sow, will return with songs of joy, carrying sheaves with him." ~ Psalm 126:5 - 6

Those seeds we sow?  ~ faith, love, kindness, encouragement etc ~  may seem tiny and insubstantial, but God will produce an abundant harvest in our lives at just the right time.

There is joy in knowing this too shall pass; we are helped, comforted and strengthened by the One who holds us fast, just as He also holds all things together and works in them for our good.

We can rest in knowing God has got us covered.

We can give thanks, not for the circumstances, but in them, trusting God to keep us safe and see us through.

" I asked God for strength, that I might achieve, I was made weak, that I might learn humbly to obey. I asked for health, that I might do greater things, I was given infirmity, that I might do better things. I asked for riches, that I might be happy, I was given poverty, that I might be wise. I asked for power, that I might have the praise of men, I was given weakness, that I might feel the need of God. 

I asked for all things, that I might enjoy life, I was given life, that I might enjoy all things. I got nothing that I asked for, but everything I had hoped for. Almost despite myself, my unspoken prayers were answered. I am among all men, most richly blessed." ~ An unknown soldier in the American Civil War

"Awareness of My Face shining upon you can instill Joy into the most difficult day" ~ Sarah Young 'Jesus Today'

Dear Father,

So many of us are struggling right now. Life is challenging and hearts ache heavy. We need a sense of perspective as much as we need Your healing touch. Help us to see how very close You are, always ready to comfort, encourage and bless, full of mercy, grace and forgiveness.

Your hand is not too short to reach down and pull us out of any pit we may have fallen into, even those of our own making. We need to be aware of Your presence with us, hear the soft whisper of Your voice, sense how near and dear we are to You as Your beloved children. 

Grant us encouragement from Your word, the ability to receive all we need to revive flagging spirits, lift weary heads, ignite hope, restore joy, bring rest and peace.

Help us to realise these seasons may seem never ending but they will come to their own conclusion in Your perfect timing. And as we co-operate with You in coming through them we will be able to see the lessons learnt along the way.

Enable and equip us to sit alongside our brother and sisters in faith who are suffering and offer them the same comfort, help and strength you have given to us.
Amen.

Joining with encouraging friends Holley, Lyli, Jennifer and Mel

The road less travelled

Each journey we take in life begins with a single step.

Yet so often the first move is the hardest one to make.

The greater the challenge before us, the greater the measure of courage required. 

Faith requires us to walk blind sometimes, but we have the reassurance of God's continual Presence to lead and to guide. 

And when we're on the King of Kings' highway we are in a good place to proceed with confidence. 

'Highway'

An open road yawns wide before me

and I have a choice to make ~ hesitate,

deliberate, ignore, turn back, or face

the path ahead with anticipation

instead of mounting dread

Decide to take a stand,

move forward ~ trembling, slow,

though with a firm grip on Your hand

For only You know opportunities

arising round the bend

Only You know what happens

if I reject the path you send

So I choose to listen to Your voice

taking one step, then another,

until I can rejoice in overcoming

fears, as I finally make progress

after all these years rooted to the spot

like one petrified, half dead,

when I could have been pursuing

dreams with You instead

Although I cannot see the potholes and 

pitfalls on this path, I trust that You 

will clear the way on my behalf

And now I stand ready to make a start

knowing each step brings me

closer to Your heart

©JoyLenton2014

"Show me your ways, O Lord, teach me your paths; guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are my God, my Saviour, and my hope is in you all day long." ~ Psalm 25:4-5

Linking here with Charlotte at Spiritual Sundays




**NOTE** The winner (chosen at random from those who commented on my last post) of a copy of 'One Thousand Gifts' by Ann Voskamp is ~ Rebekah Gilbert. Congratulations, Rebekah! A copy will be winging its way to you asap. 

A prayer for those who are in waiting

One of the hardest things we have to do in life is to wait for things.

As an instant gratification society, waiting seems anachronistic and decidedly unwelcome. 

Shouldn't everything happen straightaway at the push of a button? Not necessarily. The best things in life are worth waiting for.

Waiting on God is challenging. We know He is always busy behind the scenes with bringing His plans for our lives to fruition.

Only, it can all take so long. We wonder if we've been forgotten about.

Our hearts grow weary. Our hope withers and dies. Our faith feels misplaced.

Answers to prayer can be especially hard to hold on for. I've waited for healing (amongst other things) for many years.

My friend, you are far from alone. I know how it feels. And, more importantly, so does God.

He sees, hears, understands and is ready and able to come alongside us in our questioning.

His wisdom and discernment help us to judge when time is ripe to move ahead. So, let's consider our position:

If...you have been sitting in the same place so long you've grown roots

If...you feel left out, neglected, overlooked, alone

If...seasons come and go and yours has never come

If...others are receiving all the breaks, the kudos, the applause

Then this prayer may be for you...

'A Prayer for those in waiting'

Father,

We sit as dormant seeds, 
bulbs brown-ugly 
bursting with promise

of life, beauty, energy, growth, 
sweet fragrance stirring to be released,

buried ~ deep darkness surrounding within, without

in soil that hangs heavy, clinging and clogging,

choking us when we try to rise above it.

Surely we were planted 
with a hope of seeing Spring,

with life and potential welling up within,

with goodness seeking to be expressed

with Your hands guiding us in place
and selecting only best?

If that is so, how can we still be waiting

for our moment to arrive,

for life to erupt from what is sealed,

for transformation and change

for Your glory to be revealed?

We watch, curious, with envy half-concealed 

as neighbouring plants grow green, 

shooting strong and true, 

their foliage shades our light

their colours vivid we can see

and we wonder what on earth 

You have created us to be.

Tangled up in troubles for today 
and shackled by worries for tomorrow, 
muddied by a morass of mishaps
sullied by sickness and sorrow, 
discouraged by dis-ease of every kind
our lives feel barren and fruitless,
our hearts weary and resigned.

Until You call and we bend an ear
to a Voice we long to hear,
the balm for every doubt
the solace for every fear.
This is no accident, my child,
your roots dig deep to draw from wells
of Grace and Love, of Faith and Trust.

If all were easy would it mean so much?
If all were simple would you wait on Me?
If all were quick would you tarry here?
If all was show and substance
would you hang around?
I plant you where in due time I choose
you'll have no thorny ground.

I plant you so that come The Day
you will reflect My Light
your colours will glow bright
working through the soil of pain
pushing up to make a mark 
and bring glory to My Name.

For My best work is done in darkness
slow, but sure and strong.
So don't give up 
and don't despair 
if it all takes so long, 
for I don't give up on you
~ rising strong and true.

©JoyLenton2014

"I am still confident of this:I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord' be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord" ~ Psalm 27:13-14 

**Confession** ~ This poetic prayer sat dormant in draft form waiting for such a time as this. I had so many areas of life I could have written about for:"You are not alone" {living with M.E and chronic illness, being housebound, overcoming abuse and depression etc.} but God reminded me of this entry and the fact that so many of His beloved children grow weary in waiting to see change.

My hope and prayer is that you will be blessed and encouraged in the reading of it.

And know that you are definitely not alone in whatever you may be going through. 

Joining here with Holley, Michelle, and Jennifer 

Seeking calm in a chaotic world

Life has been less than usual for me recently as I've sought an oasis of calm in what felt like an increasingly chaotic world.

Being housebound due to M.E, I've had to look outside my surroundings to seek solace for a burnt-out brain and weary body relapsing and frazzled by too much on-line connectivity.

So I went on a retreat.

No social media. No wi-fi. Nothing but stillness, calm, and lots of time to unwind.

It wasn't all plain sailing.

When life renders us physically still by default with chronic illness, we may assume we know how to sit before God in quiet reverence.

However, I discovered (yet again) how easy it is for a mind to be active and restless even as a body feels relatively inactive.

"Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from him" ~ Psalm 62:5

Outward stillness wasn't producing inner calm.

One afternoon when I was away, I heard footsteps tripping lightly up the stairs outside my room and felt a sudden, sharp pang of envy that I couldn't move as freely as they could.

Then I sensed God saying,"I need some to move swiftly hither and thither, and I need others to be still. You are one I choose to be still."

Even if my stillness was a default setting due to physical frailty, I still felt a little bit better after hearing those words, though my own choice would be to be one of the swift and strong, actively capable people.

But we don't always get what we want or think is best. Our ways are not necessarily God's ways.

Here I was in a Convent environment and I found myself barely able to pray. Every time I tried my mind was as weary as my flesh and words wouldn't come.

Part of the reason for being there was to pray about current and future needs and goals and here I was struggling to say much at all.

So I rested, took several deep breaths, and waited on God, and these words eventually came to my spirit:

"Depth matters more than length. Many words can be shallow, self-pitying or for show. A deep prayer is one that arises from a heart recognising its desperate need of and dependence on Me, and recognises Me as the Only Source of help to meet that need:a cry from one heart to another, a wounded soul calling out to Father God"

In the light of this, a simple cry of, "Help me, Jesus" or, "Lord have mercy" is a deep, earnest prayer.

In fact, we don't necessarily have to say anything at all. God hears the unspoken cries of our hearts.

"Before a word is on my tongue you know it completely, O Lord" ~ Psalm 139:4

One of the lessons God is teaching me is to be still before Him in posture and silent in speech. 

This type of prayer is to be an offering of the heart alone.

It has meant learning to intercede by visualising the person concerned and simply lifting them up to God in my thoughts, holding them there and trusting Him to meet their every need.

Restful for a mind that finds focus hard and words failing!

This was an exercise in being focused primarily on God's Presence instead of on what to say and how to express it.

Being quiet before the Lord has the added bonus of giving us greater ability to hear His voice

I eventually found it really helpful as I began to rest and relax in this way.

Insights came. Peace and strength filled my inner being.

By the end of my stay time alone with God became something I eagerly sought, craved even.

The poem below tries to capture some of the essence of my Retreat experience.

"Be still and know that I am God" ~ Psalm 46:10

Retreat

In this world 

of rush and hurry

it is good sometimes

to pause from the flurry;

savour the flavour of

renewed zeal and zest

of the spiritual kind

that brings peace and rest

to soul and mind.

Let go the cares

Let go the noise

escape the world's snares

entertainment and toys.

Find a quiet place 

where healing resides

to soothe fretful hearts

and God's Spirit abides.

Let in the Light

Let in His Voice

that speaks soft

and calms us

so that we rejoice 

to heed yet again

what we once felt was lost

a treasure indeed -

The Pearl of great cost.

Let Love enfold you

Let Grace restore

all that is broken 

will be redeemed evermore,

enriched by His Presence

engulfed by His care

enlivened inside

as we lean, learn and share.

Returning once more 

to our home lives again
externally the same
internally changed

we have eyes to discern

sacred in the secular

made profound in His Name.

©JoyLenton2013

********

Since returning home it has been quite tricky to maintain lessons learnt in the quiet and stillness of a Convent guesthouse.

I'm very much a beginner on the contemplative journey and going on retreat was a new experience for me.

I'm finding it is becoming essential to try to balance life better by actively seeking to carve out time and space in the daily routine to make way for these moments.

Only life has a way of sneaking up on us with its many distractions, desires and temptations  that leave us time and energy-deprived.

And good intentions need to become new habits if they're not going to get lost.

This lesson looks like an ongoing one as I attempt to discover how often to dip in (and out) of social media, when to move forward and when to draw back, how much contact and connection is healthy and how much is just too draining and depleting for someone with M.E. (you can click on the link to see the symptoms)

It has taken me several days to write this post, though, (thankfully) most of the poem shaped itself when on retreat. My mind and body remain slow and lethargic, dulled further by the stronger analgesia I am taking for pain relief.

Lacking sufficient mental agility or acuity to join in with the usual Five Minute Friday, I am pleased to be linking here today with Missional Women Faith Filled Friday instead. You're very welcome to join us.

I'd love to know:

What lessons have you learnt in quiet times and places?

How do you balance life's commitments and personal goals with time with God?

I'm looking forward to hearing from you and sharing our thoughts.

To stay in touch you can connect with me on Twitter or follow on Facebook.

Grace Notes:Threads

Though pyjamas may frequently be my default mode of dress these days, I still retain a love of clothes (shoes, boots..) and the rare opportunity to dress up and go somewhere special.

As a child, fancy clothes didn't feature much.

 My parents were of the school of thought that cheaper and two sizes too big was better to allow room for growth that rarely came before all wore out.

One thing alone stands out from my childhood wardrobe.

No shop could have held such an item as The Dress

Rarity enshrined it in memory while others faded.

Hands...that stole embraces mainly for their own comfort or pushed aside.

Eyes...that fired navy blue stones cut hard with disappointment.

Forehead....a pleated frown of disapproval.

Lips...caressing cigarettes, spoke harsh, ashed with irritability, scolds never far away.

Body....built for comfort, though it yielded little.

This Dress made all the difference. It spoke volumes

A mother who was far from motherly had crafted it

Hands....folding and holding
Eyes....poring and scanning

Forehead....creased with concentration

Lips....tutting, tense and pin-full

Body....aching stiff

 arched in supplication

over pattern and cloth

to wield instruments of magic

Family heirloom 
trusty Singer
commissioned to 
treadle and triumph 
Sew fine and sing
out a song 
a wheel of motion 
hastening the end

Hands that skilfully produced marvellous meals, delicious desserts and celebration cakes - for such was her gift - were now  employed in a project for a long-ignored daughter.

Once completed it was mine alone. No sisterly sharing. Just for me She had her own. I loved it.

Sadly, being a family short on albums, no image remains save that etched on my brain: 

Stand-out scarlet fine needle-cord, burgundy-bright tones for a child used to fading into shadow. Edged with white-laced collar. Party pretty. I felt like Sara, Princess and childhood heroine.

Years have passed and dresses galore have entered my life, each special in their own way.

But none like this - for despite all thoughts to the contrary - as far as I was concerned: Here Lay Proof.

Denied or disabled, yet her love ran through every stitch, like a scarlet thread bleeding into the fabric as it bled afresh in my heart - she cared - my mother did love me; I held the evidence before me. 

Years later, discovering her rejection from first implant of seed, attempts to remove our presence from her, seen as unwanted, treated as unloved, yet we came...twin girl companions to grieve her heart and soul as our arrival joined her in matrimony to a man she didn't love or respect; doubts rose again.

What lay behind it all I will never know. She carried her private sorrows to the grave. Only that I was not enough to make her smie or cause her the joy she named me to be.

Long before I knew the love of God, He sent those threads of grace into my life to remind me that I am special and His love could thaw the coldest of hearts, breathe hope and life where all seemed lost, change darkness and despair into light, make a child dance in heart and hearth for joy of being loved.

And He still does.

"I delight greatly in the Lord; my soul rejoices in my God. For He has clothed me with garments of salvation and arrayed me in a robe of righteousness.." ~ Isaiah 61:10

Many lessons have been learnt since then. 

Now I seek to dress differently. 

To clothe myself in His robe of righteousness instead of a garment of shame

To put on love as it has been put on me by His loving hands

To put greater store on my inner rather than outer appearance

To see myself as God sees me in Christ

"Instead of their shame my people will receive a double portion, and instead of disgrace they will rejoice in their inheritance.." ~ Isaiah 61:7

Jesus,

You bled scarlet for us

as you willingly hung on a cross. 

Threads of compassion

and love ran down,

flowing freely, unhindered,

so that we could be set free

from our shame, pain and disgrace 

and learn to live and love 

as you created us to.

Thank You for such love, 

such grace beyond compare

which is poured out for us

day by day

Amen.

I am linking here with Tanya and the 'Concrete Words' series

If you like what you read, I'd love you to leave a comment.

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May God's love, grace and peace surround you until we meet again.

Let's start at the very beginning

In the words of the song  'Do-Re-Mi' from the 'Sound of Music':

"Let's start at the very beginning

A very good place to start.

When you read you begin with A-B-C.."

The new alphabet of activity I am learning for this year begins with - 'A' for Attending

My priority is:

• To attend to God's voice
• Listen well
• Respond with prompt obedience instead of the usual vacillation 
• Run to the throne not the phone
• Make prayer less of a monologue and more of a dialogue

Sounds impressive. Gulp! Making and reading this list is one thing; carrying it out is quite another. I know my own wayward, easily distracted heart and I don't expect to be able to do these things perfectly at all.

Bad habits don't change overnight. Good habits take at least 21 days to establish. Baby steps one step at a time is the way forward.

In doing so I'm in pursuit of my God-sized dream for 2013:

'To draw closer to God and discover His specific plan for me creatively and personally'

 This week I am challenged to "Do one thing to move forward" in my goal. Scripture challenges me with these verses as I attempt to live out what I aim to achieve:

"So if you're serious about living the new resurrection life with Christ, act like it. Pursue the things over which Christ presides. Don't shuffle along, eyes to the ground, absorbed with the things right in front of you. Look up and be alert to what is going on around Christ - that's where the action is. See things from His perspective" ~ Colossians 3:1 - 3  The Message (emphasis added)

So what will it mean to 'attend' to God?

• Wait on
• Be present
• Go regularly to
• Give attention to
• Listen to
• Apply oneself
• Direct one's mind and efforts towards
• Be a companion

My one thing to move forward in my goal is:

Starting my day with reading 'Jesus Calling' by Sarah Young accompanied by 'Prayer Journal - Developing a Conversation with God' by Joyce Huggett. (Okay, 2 things really but they link together!)

The book by Sarah Young was a requested Christmas gift and I had no idea what a beloved treasure it would prove to be. Sarah shares her personal messages from the Lord over a period of time, with Bible verses linking to the theme. Many of these messages are speaking greatly into my life too. I yearn for her experience:

"The practice of listening to God has increased my intimacy with Him more than any other spiritual discipline.." ~ Sarah Young in 'Jesus Calling'

I am using the Prayer Journal's 'Prayer Jottings' section - which Joyce notes as "a place for recording prayer jottings where we write to God and He writes to us" (emphasis added) to record my conversations with God as He speaks to me in various ways from scripture, music, conversations with others, glimpses of His glory around me, art and literature, and personal words tenderly spoken directly from His Father heart to my heart.

So far I have been amazed at the amount of words which the Father is pouring into my life and equally ashamed at how little I listened before - to my detriment.

I'd like to close with a prayer by Ken Gire:

"A Prayer for Grace"

Thank you, God,

For those moments in my life

when You opened a window

and offered a word

that nourished the hunger in my soul.

Give me the grace to realize

that these are the words I live by,

not by bread alone

whatever form that bread may take

however satisfying it may seem at the time.

Give me grace to live not just reflectively but receptively,

that I may not only notice when a window is opened

but also receive what is offered,

understanding that what is offered

is my soul's daily bread.

©KenGire1996 from 'Windows of the Soul'

Pause to ponder:

What is capturing your attention this year?

Is God asking you to prioritise your activities?

In this post I am linking up with Holley Gerth's God-sized Dream. 


I am grateful to have the company, encouragement and support from Holley, her team and the wonderful women also participating in this journey. Do join us!