Seeking His Presence

As we approach the Thanksgiving and Advent season, thoughts turn toward Christ's coming to earth. 

Here, in infant lowly lies our Lord and Saviour.

Here, we touch holy ground.

Yet it can all pass us by in the rush and hurry of preparation for Christmas.

Just lately, a distant and distracted air has swirled around me. My mind focused on those things I enjoy to the detriment of those I need to pay attention to.

My beloved is getting exasperated with my M.E brain fog showing up most whenever he asks something specific from me. I hear, respond with scant attention, and drift off again.

Want me to write? No problem {usually}. Want me to listen attentively to instruction/information/give an intelligent reply and opinion? No chance.

And I don't think I'm alone with this malaise. It's also creeping into my relationship with God.

I aim to spend quality time with Him and I find myself clock-watching, chasing thoughts, wondering when I can get a coffee, falling asleep...Zzzz...

Yes, I am always tired, always fuzzy-headed, likely to drift off. Coffee, rest and pacing help a little but fatigue sits ever-present with M.E.

In seeking to write regularly ~ because I love to ~ and wanting so much to engage with the world through social media, I am in grave danger of missing the most important part of life and the point of Christmas too. 

I am not learning to truly listen to my life. Heed what God is trying to say to me through it. In simply going with the flow I've been missing the fullness. 

In the humdrum and ordinary we have potential to experience the pulsating thrum of extraordinary.

To bend ear, mind and heart. To be aware, alert and sensitive to Holy Spirit's whispers on the wind.

He longs to meet with us in the here and now and we pull away to catch the urgent instead of the important.

And I still puzzle over which is which.

Now I sit aware of the struggle and tussle for my time and attention, and I am beginning to sense a need to draw back a little from the everyday.

Christmas itself needs preparation and organising, and ~ most important of all ~ I need to be immersed in God's Presence.

Maybe you do too?

For it is the best place to ready ourselves to hear from Him. Prepare heart and mind. Learn to be attentive. Absorb His words and reflect on them.

Pause and pray.

Listen to God's heartbeat and tune into His voice.

Be immersed in the One who has immersed His life with ours as Holy and heavenly meeting soiled and earthly.

Can you hear Him speaking?

I sense Him whispering close:

"I AM is here ~ 

I am the One who loves you completely and unconditionally.

I am your Comforter in troubles, your Anchor in any storm, your peace in the midst of problems, your Joy beyond measure.

I am your Saviour, Lord and King.

I am for you when all else is against you.

I AM Emmanuel ~ God with you, always"

As we light a candle, remembering Christ as the Light of the World, the wonder of it all hits us anew.

He is here.

And that makes all the difference in the world.

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#graceglimmers

~ Thoughts float as butterflies in my mind and God pins them down in poetry and prose

~ Catching dawn rising and capturing anew the wonder of a day's beginning

~ Delight over the safe arrival of our first grandchild, God's gift of a beautiful boy

~ Being weighed heavy with pain and chronic illness but God giving ability to carry it lightly

~ Family, friends, loved ones, home, hearth, and celebrations to come

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To aid me in the approach to Advent I am reading from 'Christ the Light of the World' ~ A devotional by Thomas Kinkade {which I was blessed to win in a blog giveaway}, and 'Advent Reflections' by Anita Hunt

Ann Voskamp's latest book, 'The Greatest Gift' looks set to encourage and inspire us just the same way as 'One Thousand Gifts' has. It's particularly suitable for the Advent season and beyond. It is a great way for families to share in preparing their hearts for the Christ-child. 

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Linking here with Tracy for Winsome Wednesday

And with Sabrina for the return of #letterto 

This week's prompt is:'Letter to fill you in' where we share what is going on in our world, heart and head right now

Nothing muted here

It's been one of those weeks when thoughts don't flow freely and thinking feels more like a mud-dredging effort to mine for a few scattered gems than an easy, relaxed, effortless activity.

Life with M.E often brings brain fog and muddled (muddied) thinking as well as problems with focus and concentration.

Strangely, when words sit heavy for me and hard to find, it seems that poetry rises faster with more fluency than prose.

So this week's Five Minute Friday writing challenge lends itself well to verse, for better or worse!

Today's prompt is:'Red'

START..

Red Offering

You want me to wear red

that shout-out-loud, 'look at me'

noisy hot breath 

of anger and danger

can't I wear something 

more muted instead?

Red is...poured out, bleeding offering

on a cross of shame and suffering

death pooling, injury, wounding,

scarring, revealing scarlet thread

signalling loss and pain

And yet...there's a vibrancy 

a glow, shining brightness about it all

love's token of a heart aflame

grace revealing in Jesus name

a warming, birth of hope rising

with each petal falling 

from head, hands and feet

as offering for us all

to pass on to those we meet

Shout it loud...red is good

don't fade into crowd

be proud to take a stand

and a share of the sorrow 

and shame He bore

so you can bear the weight

of Love He brings to everything

with forgiveness threads spooling

onto ground weeping red

it's a cause to rejoice

for us all

©JoyLenton2013

STOP.

Linking here with Lisa-Jo Baker for Five Minute Friday where we write freely on a given topic, from the heart, as it comes, with no worry about perfection.

You are very welcome and warmly invited to join in.

When you're in transition

My life is in transition. I'm at an in-between phase and stage.

Walls are crumbling, rocked by Holy Spirit winds and fanned by the flame of God's word.

I can no longer cling to familiar. All feels uncertain.

Days of being locked up in a tight cocoon are ending.

Release is coming.

Something new is being birthed.

And any birth is painful.

New life stretches us.

We know not what waits on the other side of the labour we are in. Fear seizes our throats and paralyses our steps.

Those dry, arid places are being flooded by a water of grace. A healing river to wash clean, revive and restore.

Yet we cling to what we know, stubborn as stains have clung to our souls and soaked into the fabric of our very being. They feel part of who we are.

But God says, "Come. Trust Me. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland" ~ Isaiah 43:19

As we cease our protests and resist pulling away, it soon becomes clear that co-operation is called for.

This new thing won't birth itself. The old skin won't shed without our pushing against it. And we can't float free as butterfly when our soul weighs heavy.

Such is the position I am in and it's taking so much energy from me. I am at the point of processing the changes taking place.

I'm still wary, still worn out from my struggles, still not through the other side or quite ready to share what is happening. I hope to be able to do so soon as God leads me.

For a new birth is also great cause for rejoicing and transition is a temporary stage of it.

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Emotional pains, wrangling and change have provoked greater physical weakness in me too as the M.E symptoms flare strong under stress.

I didn't feel like I had a clear thought in my head this morning as most of it was spent in bed. Then God gifted me with these unpolished, imperfect words in a poem, asking that I share the present pain in order to eventually share the strength and momentum gained in time to come.

It's written in support of all M.E sufferers who may be in a dry and difficult place right now. 

We have great hope of seeing change as we live the in-between life of sickness and pain with promise of healing to come.

A life obscured

I have a mind made foggy by M.E; mists swirl and cloud around my brain

parting briefly to reveal a glimpse of someone switched on, with-it and urbane.

Some days the clouds hang heavy, low, suffocating clarity of thought and meaning.

Other days they shift and a dazzling rainbow of ideas, expression and creativity break free.

When thoughts are obscured by an M.E fog it's like wading through treacle in my head

sinking deep in mud and treacherous bog as I strive to retrieve words sitting stiff as lead.

Wanting so much to be clear in my mind yet dredging hard in sludge for a hidden pearl

of wisdom, or words of any kind floating in the ether, out of reach in the swirl.

It's clutching at straws, grabbing at air, fatigue sitting dense, heavy and still

so body and mind can't get anywhere despite an extreme effort of will.

Held fast by exhaustion profound it affects every cell, every thought, every limb,

heightening sensitivity to light and sound as muscles ache deep and mind swims.

Eyes blur and ache with effort to read all out of focus, concentration shot

on a go-slow, nothing done at speed, body feverish blowing cold then hot.

A desperate need for rest and peace with communication shut down

requiring silence, dark and ease to avoid total burnout or meltdown.

Struggling through this latest trial with symptoms strong, intrusive,

knowing it could be a while when real improvement seems elusive.

Trusting in God's grace to sustain and see me through

resting in His loving embrace, peace and hope in His word coming true.

©JoyLenton2103

"We don't yet see things clearly. We're squinting in a fog, peering through a mist. But it won't be long before the weather clears and the sun shines bright! We'll see it all then, see it all as clearly as God sees us, knowing him directly as he knows us" ~ 1 Corinthians 13:12

Yes, it is Friday and I normally participate in Five Minute Friday. But my brain wasn't up to the challenge today. God had other ideas for me.

Hopefully, normal service will be resumed soon!

Meanwhile, please feel free to share how God may be working in you, emotionally, spiritually or physically. Let's try to support and encourage one another in the challenges we are facing.

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