Basking in the afterglow

I wasn't ready for Christmas, despite every good intention, a beautiful book list, devotions to dive into and expectations high during Advent.

Presents were wrapped, all was ready on the surface, family had arrived and my husband had the catering in hand.

I was as rested as I could be and not as flat out with fatigue as I often am as Christmas arrives.

Plenty of reasons for rejoicing yet my heart felt strangely weighed down.

All I seemed to be left with after a period of extra busyness was anxiety and stress. Maybe you can relate?

My Advent preparations had been good, though somehow I had lost sight of their purpose as I lost myself instead in worry and weariness.

I also wasn't ready for Christ to speak to me on Christmas Eve in the sadness of feeling unprepared for Him. To offer solace and reassurance that it's not about my/our efforts at all but about His.

As the great I AM, Jesus is always with us, always present, always close to hurting hearts.

He sees the way we wrangle to squeeze Just One More Thing in until we nearly squeeze Him out, and how we are desperate to make something big out of our smallness.

He witnesses our struggles for perfectionism and answers with His grace.

Jesus whispered words of comfort as I sat on the bed with tears in my eyes, sorrowing once again over how flawed I am, how impossible it is to feel my way into worship (or worth-ship) most of the time.

He met me in my weariness. He strengthened me in my weakness. 

He spoke in the silent places and gifted me with the glowing fire of His love.

Reminded me how He came for those who were needy. How His gift to us is Presence and our gift back to Him is simply sharing all of our lives, hearts and minds with Him.

Yes, especially the messiness, the muddles, the sadness, confusion and pain.

And now? We sit between Nativity and New Year, pause in the gap to catch our breath.

Depleted, satiated and weary, we wait in the interim to rouse ourselves for another celebration to begin.

It's a time to reflect and wonder anew about opportunities ahead. But, instead of seeing it as Christmas being all over for another year, how about considering: Isn't this the best bit as we bask in the afterglow of God's great Love come down?

Truly believe we already are pre-approved and loved beyond measure.

Rest grateful in those arms which threw stars into space, brought life to everything and sustain us in their safe embrace.

Be comforted by the voice of One who soothes fretful hearts, brings the joy and peace of His Presence back to lives made dull by distance.

Relax to know Jesus can be celebrated all year round in our hearts and lives. He isn't just for Christmas.

Because He is right here, right now ~ omnipresent, omniscient, omnipotent Incarnate God.

His Light shines in every dark circumstance and place.

His grace is new every morning.

He is always ready to receive us even when we feel ill-prepared to receive Him. 

To pour His Love-light upon souls longing for a touch from His hands. All we need to do is ask, and Jesus will respond.

Listening to your life

Imagination can take us places that bear no relation to reality.

I began this year with a conviction and desire to listen better to all God wants to speak into my life. It follows on naturally from my #oneword365 being 'listen'.

My mind envisaged restful moments spent relaxing in His presence while He poured out words of wisdom and peace.

It would be wonderful. I would hear messages of encouragement to share with others. I would drift through my days with an increasing awareness of Holy Spirit's whispers on the wind.

Only..it hasn't quite panned out that way. Who knew listening could be so painful, challenging, personally humiliating and hard?

Instead of a lovely lightness and liveliness of heart, I feel drained, weary, worn out, with worms eating at my soul.

Exhaustion makes me cranky. Impatience reigns. Sin crouches at the door waiting to ensnare me. It's my own overly hasty 'wish-I-could-swallow-them-back' words I'm hearing, and the sad resigned response from my husband. 

All God seems to be saying is, "Look out. You've made another blunder". My heart is heavy with sorrow over faults and failings. Peace has flown out the window and listening has become an act of obedience rather than joy.

Yesterday, following a run of wakeful, pain-filled nights, I unleashed another impatient tirade on my beloved. In full flow until an insistent ring stopped me in my tracks.

It was enough to bring me to my senses. And as I paused to listen to a stranger's voice oozing warmth and understanding, I lost it all over again with a healing unravelling cascade of tears.

For here was someone from a ministry we support giving us a courtesy call to say thanks and ask if we needed prayer. Ready to reach out a hand, to stand in the gap and intercede.

Life interrupted as God saw a need and stepped in. A holy moment in the midst of mayhem. Reminder of His goodness and grace seeping into the cracks and crevices of our days.

Knowing we're all in the process of becoming what He wants us to be ~ beautiful and strong in Him. 

Reassurance to restore faith and confidence that His promises stand firm, unshakable as Rock and ready to be fulfilled. A life can be changed in an instant. Calm can replace chaos.

Living as we do with continual physical and mental health challenges, we cling to His word in desperation. How long, O Lord? When, God when? This the silent mantra we move to.

Nothing external has changed. But we are altered by a few moments of intent listening to another speaking as if from the Lord. 

 I still bear burdens Jesus aches to carry for me. I still mess up and have unwise words escape my mouth. But God is reminding me of His nearness and drawing me to His side in increasing dependence and trust.

******

And God has blessed me further with a 'Prayer Whisper' from His heart to mine this morning:

"I will speak to you this year in small ways because I am training you to trace My hand at work in the minutiae of daily life. As you see and hear Me speaking in the little things, so you will develop a sensitive ear that is more attuned to My presence.

Sometimes there will be a flood of words. At others you will have to strain senses and flex faith muscles to be aware of what I'm saying.

It is vital for you to listen to your life, your body, emotions, actions and reactions as well as heeding My voice. My desire is for you to live mindfully; be aware of your need of grace, the space you create for misery or joy, the weariness signalling time to withdraw, be silent and rest in My loving embrace.

Walk through your days with an attitude of praise before you see any change for the good happening. Praise paves the way for My presence to operate in all its fullness and opens the door to thankfulness within you ~ regardless of circumstances. 

Your inheritance as My child is to experience beauty for ashes and joy in the midst of adversity."

*******

Looking for the sound of laughter in my #1000gifts count yesterday seemed impossible.  So many days feel circumscribed by weakness, weariness and pain, bereft of joy in any measure. Yet it was there.

Here was a gift from God ~ a call to bring me back to awareness and a trickle of smiles to treasure as we watched a mini video of our grandson's alert opening up to life around him.

This precious young life, a bare two months old, already operating as God intends us to ~ embracing life in all its fullness with an open, receptive mind and heart.

Babies and children have much to teach us about relishing the moment. In the deliberate seeking out joy can be found. In surrender to seconds, seasons and seeing anew we can listen to our lives and see that they are a holy offering to the Author of life itself. 

*******

Joining here with Nacole for #concretewords and #listentoyourlife

And with Ruth for #Letterto This week's prompt is 'Letter to the tired'

**NOTE** ~ As you can see, I'm just a beginner in the art of listening but I hope to grow and improve as the year goes on. To help me to do just that I am joining Nacole's community of women who want to listen hard to God, to their lives and to one another. You're very welcome and warmly invited to join us as we live and learn together. 

When a gift doesn't look like one

In this busy season for writing lists and buying gifts, we try to decide what to give others and may wonder what we'll receive in return. Although not every gift is a welcome one.

God handed me a gift I have failed to receive graciously, denied I'd been given, tried to ignore, declined to unwrap or accept.

He gave me the gift of fragility and weakness.

People aren't exactly queueing up to ask or pray for it.

I mean, how is that even a gift? Isn't it more like a punishment?

On the outside, observing the life of a person with M.E and chronic illness which incapacitates physically and mentally, impacts every activity and causes profound fatigue, pain and weakness ~ well, who in the world would want to receive it?

Isn't this one to hand back to God with a, “No thanks, you must be mistaken”? Which is just how we feel about so many painful and challenging circumstances.

Only...I am beginning to appreciate that He allows these things into our lives for a reason. And I'm starting to... Read more here at my encouraging writer and social media friend, James Prescott's site where I am delighted to be guest posting today..

Grace Notes: Faith

Faith can be variously described as having trust and confidence, a belief system, way of life, hopeful outlook or even blind optimism. 

It may seem such a nebulous, insubstantial, indefinable thing and then morph into the strongest element in our lives.

 Relationships usually require us to take a leap of faith in trusting our fragile hearts and hopes into another person's hands.

Biblical faith has an extra dimension.

 We place our faith in Someone who can be known (through His word and by experience) yet remains hidden from plain sight. How do we discover Him in the everyday?

"Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see" ~ Hebrews 11:1

In essence, it could be summed up in the acronym:

For  All  I  Trust  Him

Our faith doesn't rest in our understanding or capabilities but in God's all-encompassing, unconditional love, His ability to keep us safe, be true to His word, to rescue, redeem, restore, deliver and heal us

In the reflection below I am attempting to put the expression of the Inexpressible into words

To see with the eyes of faith is:

To see the Supernatural in the natural 
and the Extraordinary in the ordinary

A bleak, barren, frost-gripped, ice-hard landscape
will bring forth

 fresh green shoots once more.

Natural eye cannot perceive
 activity 'neath 
rock-stiffened soil
 and breath-frozen air -

Yet it is there.

Bridal froth of cherry pink and white blossom 

blooms abundantly in its season.

Silently sown by grace

Expectantly viewed 

and received by faith
looked on with joy.

Faith is a gift that enables us to believe

in and for the impossible, imperceivable, unknowing

Once eyes of hearts are open

we see glimmers, mere twinkling suggestions

of what lies beneath our sight

and beyond comprehension.
The Unknowing 
becoming known
through a babe, man, 
Word become flesh.

Holding our flesh-babes 
in arms, hearts and lives 
we see them moving, 
walking, talking, living,

 vital, functioning beings

even as they lie dormant,
dependent, helpless.

Cradled warm in our embrace

the call to grow is

changing them -
Like fresh green shoots
appearing on a vine.
Like skin-stretched hopes
breaking forth
to make reality 
from dreams.

We are all

so vibrantly alive

with potential

that only God

can fully see.

Faith-walking can feel like a long, arduous climb up a very steep hill or a continual circuit around the base of a mountain - will we ever get to the top or find a new direction to go in?

The walking by faith and not by sight part can feel like being in a long dark tunnel with maybe a tiny pinprick of light up ahead to see the way out.

Human eyes and heart would give up hope. But as God equips us with His way of seeing - Spiritual eyes and heart - can 'see' the final outcome and thank God for it even before it happens

I'm continually working on that one and discovering the more I let go of fear (the opposite of faith) and trust God for the outcomes, the more faith rises in my heart with each experience.

"God is doing far more behind your back than in front of your eyes" ~ Paul Scanlon

God's word reminds us of where our focus should be:

"Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal"   

~ 2 Corinthians 4:16 - 18 (emphasis added)

We long for what we sense - hear, feel, touch, taste and see.

God longs to produce Christ-likeness in and through us - no matter what that may take.

Pause to ponder:

How are you exercising faith?

What helps or hinders its growth?

In this post I am linking up with Missional Women Faith filled Fridays

If you would like to read more on the Grace Note series or other writing, do stay in touch.

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