Basking in the afterglow

I wasn't ready for Christmas, despite every good intention, a beautiful book list, devotions to dive into and expectations high during Advent.

Presents were wrapped, all was ready on the surface, family had arrived and my husband had the catering in hand.

I was as rested as I could be and not as flat out with fatigue as I often am as Christmas arrives.

Plenty of reasons for rejoicing yet my heart felt strangely weighed down.

All I seemed to be left with after a period of extra busyness was anxiety and stress. Maybe you can relate?

My Advent preparations had been good, though somehow I had lost sight of their purpose as I lost myself instead in worry and weariness.

I also wasn't ready for Christ to speak to me on Christmas Eve in the sadness of feeling unprepared for Him. To offer solace and reassurance that it's not about my/our efforts at all but about His.

As the great I AM, Jesus is always with us, always present, always close to hurting hearts.

He sees the way we wrangle to squeeze Just One More Thing in until we nearly squeeze Him out, and how we are desperate to make something big out of our smallness.

He witnesses our struggles for perfectionism and answers with His grace.

Jesus whispered words of comfort as I sat on the bed with tears in my eyes, sorrowing once again over how flawed I am, how impossible it is to feel my way into worship (or worth-ship) most of the time.

He met me in my weariness. He strengthened me in my weakness. 

He spoke in the silent places and gifted me with the glowing fire of His love.

Reminded me how He came for those who were needy. How His gift to us is Presence and our gift back to Him is simply sharing all of our lives, hearts and minds with Him.

Yes, especially the messiness, the muddles, the sadness, confusion and pain.

And now? We sit between Nativity and New Year, pause in the gap to catch our breath.

Depleted, satiated and weary, we wait in the interim to rouse ourselves for another celebration to begin.

It's a time to reflect and wonder anew about opportunities ahead. But, instead of seeing it as Christmas being all over for another year, how about considering: Isn't this the best bit as we bask in the afterglow of God's great Love come down?

Truly believe we already are pre-approved and loved beyond measure.

Rest grateful in those arms which threw stars into space, brought life to everything and sustain us in their safe embrace.

Be comforted by the voice of One who soothes fretful hearts, brings the joy and peace of His Presence back to lives made dull by distance.

Relax to know Jesus can be celebrated all year round in our hearts and lives. He isn't just for Christmas.

Because He is right here, right now ~ omnipresent, omniscient, omnipotent Incarnate God.

His Light shines in every dark circumstance and place.

His grace is new every morning.

He is always ready to receive us even when we feel ill-prepared to receive Him. 

To pour His Love-light upon souls longing for a touch from His hands. All we need to do is ask, and Jesus will respond.

Celebrating a man and a marriage

Nobody really knows the inside story of a relationship apart from the two people involved in it.

Our marriage certainly didn't look like a marriage made in heaven from the outset.

I had a troubled, dysfunctional childhood, my parents were divorced and my future mother-in-law clearly disapproved of her son's choice.

We had only been dating for a few months when he proposed to me.

The look of shock-horror on her face when we announced our engagement was testimony to her feelings and a deep concern to me and my fragile self-esteem.

For I came from the wrong side of the tracks and was not the wife she'd envisaged for her youngest son. My background was predominantly working class and impoverished. I was also a loose canon spiritually  as I came to faith in a Pentecostal church - horrors for a staunch Evangelical such as she was.

And I was a young woman carrying far too much baggage from her past. Altogether an unsuitable choice, apart from the fact he clearly adored me ....foolish boy.

Plus, we married in indecent haste (in her eyes) and really should have waited until I'd completed my nurse training and he had secured gainful employment after leaving university.

But we were young, deeply in love, full of optimism and enthusiasm and committed to making this work.

As we said our vows (the old-fashioned kind), little did we know how taking one another 'in sickness and in health' would lead to far more years with the latter than the former.

So my mother-in-law was probably right to be at least a little bit doubtful that this union would go the distance.

Even though she was basing her reservations on the knowledge she had then, not on what would happen in the months and years to come.

My Philosopher husband would have to call upon supernatural reserves of patience, perseverance and endurance to cope with the life we had waiting ahead of us.

Not one that either of us signed up for.

But our reality, nevertheless.

Fortunately, my mother-in-law and I became close over time and genuine love and trust eventually bloomed between us. She was a tremendous help and support when our first son was born and she absolutely doted on both grandsons, as they did on her.

Now, as my husband and I celebrate our 38th wedding anniversary, I do so with a tribute to the wonderful man I am so privileged to be married to.

For I wouldn't be half the woman I am today if he hadn't stuck by me and continued to pour his love into my heart and life - as he still does every single day.

Here's to you, sweetheart, beloved husband and greatest friend....

My beloved

My beloved is like no other

He is chief confidant, encourager,

best friend, counsellor and lover

He has become house-husband

carer, chef, chauffeur, gardener,

joy bringer, helper and life sharer

My beloved is like no other

He takes broken confidence

trust and low self-esteem,

tenderly gathers the pieces

and patiently reveals

a scene, picture of wholeness

the best I can be in God's eyes

though pain and sickness conceal it

Laid out before him

my fractured heart, body and life

are now objects of beauty

become companion and wife

as he looks at me with Christ-eyes

of compassion, understanding and patience

enough to cover all trouble and strife

My beloved is like no other

in his desire to see me healed

from the chains of the past

and the part he has played

in bringing to pass the day

when a new me is revealed

Meanwhile, he gives and loves

unselfishly, requiring only

that I respond with the best

of my limited ability

as body, mind, every part

gladly submits to his love

which fills and overflows my heart

©JoyLenton2013

And if our marriage didn't look as if it was a match made in heaven, we have relied heavily on heaven's resources to keep it going.

There have always been three people in our relationship. It has been greatly enhanced and strengthened by placing our lives, faith and trust in God. 

He never leaves us nor forsakes us and a cord of three strands is not quickly broken (Ecclesiastes 4:12).

Without God's presence, input, enabling and equipping we wouldn't have made it past the first year, never mind get this far

He gives us love for one another every day, plus a continual outpouring of grace to cope with tough times.

I know I have been amazingly blessed in the husband that was chosen for me. I am eternally grateful to him for sticking with me and to God for giving him the faithfulness and patient endurance to do so.

And, just as a closing thought, I'd like to encourage you to be aware of the important relationships in your life and consider how much God has blessed you too. 

It may not be a life partner or children, but each of us usually has someone influencing and impacting our lives in a positive way.

If you do, then it is good to tell them how much you care about and appreciate them being there for you. You don't have to wait until it's an anniversary or special occasion.

How about today? 

PS:Just in case you were wondering:

• The rings pictured are a replica of our own wedding rings when shiny and new
• My beloved's photograph was taken on our wedding day
• This post is one of the "here's one I made earlier" variety prepared in advance, left to marinade, stirred, seasoned and served up on the appropriate occasion
• A printed copy of the poem made its way into my husband's card this morning

Linking here with Missional Women Faith Filled Friday. You are very welcome to join in.

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Because you're worth it

It's that time of year again. Warmly, reassuringly, comfortingly familiar. With mystery at its heart to make it extra special.

We buy the presents. We buy into the pressure to spend, spend, spend.

We buy what we think others will like, need, deserve maybe.

Packaged, beribboned, sparkly, glittering, tantalising,  tempting in their shiny splendour.

Such adornments can either mask the meagre offering within or suggest its inestimable worth.

With sweat of furrowed brow, thrust of elbow, throbbing of feet, jangling of nerves, jingling of coins, ringing of tills and emptying of wallets, we make our offering and sacrifice at the altar of Consumerism.

We assign worth and value to the things we purchase:consumables that can so easily consume us, our hearts, energy and time - because we are worth it - and so are the people we buy for: our loved ones, family and friends.

As gift-giving is one of my love languages it helps me to express how I care for those I buy for. That careful selection (Wish Lists and online shopping are such a boon) so often gives way to hastily thrown together parcels as I find myself drained, exhausted, depleted and dazed in an M.E - blurred and fogged race against the clock to get it all completed before The Day itself.

Each year I vow to change:

• To pace myself better
• To stop the panic.
• To buy less.
• To give more to charity.
• To cease from being sucked in by consumerism.

To stop. Be still. Reflect on The One who is worthy of my time, limited energy and attention. To make a priority to focus more on The Gift Himself rather than the gifts to purchase.

How do I make space for Jesus when my days are filled with concern about how much there is to do and how little time I have to try to do it all in? It can be a struggle.

So much of what we celebrate is tainted by worldliness, a perennial keeping up with and out-smarting of  the Joneses, while we demonstrate how multi-skilled, talented and capable we are at meeting the multiplicity of demands upon our lives - frantically juggling those numerous balls in the air (with a fixed smile on our faces) for all we are worth.

So much of our lives is dominated by the need to belong, fit in, be a part of what is current and trendy

The desire to fill our need for self-worth with Things can leave a gaping hole - an empty space of dissatisfaction, disillusionment, discouragement and despair once the lure of the new has waned.

We are worth more than that and we were created for so much more.

'Space'

The holes in our existence

speak of

S-P-A-C-E

writ larger than we: 

Success

Popularity

Acclaim

Celebrity

Ego.

Things we chase

and grasp

so fleetingly

when a vaster Universe

lies within our reach:

Serenity

Peace

Acceptance

Change

Eternity.

In clutching

at straws

we lose

not only Life

but our very

souls

©JoyLenton2012

Our worthiness lies in recognising our need of change, then taking the first step of faith to being in relationship with God, The One who is worthy of the surrender of our hopes, dreams, expectations and lives into His hands.

The Heart of Worship - 

"When the music fades, 

all is stripped away 

and I simply come; 

longing just to bring 

something that's of worth, 

that will bless Your heart."...

©MattRedman1994 - You can click on the link to hear the full song

The word "worship" literally means "worthiness" or "worth-ship". Simply put, worship is to ascribe worth to something or someone.

Let's try to remember in the rush and crush of Christmas - The Light of lights, King of kings, Lord of lords, Prince of peace, Word made flesh, Who deserves our every breath, prayer, praise and worship.

Chorus:

"I'm coming back to the heart of worship,

and it's all about You,

all about You, Jesus.

I'm sorry, Lord,

for the thing I've made it,

when it's all about You,

all about You, Jesus"

The heart of worship is to bow our hearts before God in wonder, adoration and surrender to all that He is and all that He has done for us in Jesus Christ.

Points to ponder:

The challenge before us this Christmas remains:

Who or what are we worshipping?

What gifts can you offer to God?

I'm linking up here with Tanya Marlow's Advent Thoughts - do check it out