Showing posts with label #selfworth. Show all posts
Showing posts with label #selfworth. Show all posts

Monday, 22 April 2013

Sinking but not sunk

Confession time today - I'm a bit of a hand-wash harridan.

As a nurse, I spent more time than I care to count washing my hands at a sink.

Those were the days before alcohol sprays and hand-sanitisers were prevalent.

We washed and scrubbed as if our lives (or that of our patients at least) depended on it.

Germs didn't stand a chance!

As a mother of two young sons, I waged war on the dirt that clung with magnetic-like resistance and repulsed attempts to dislodge itself from football and rugby kit.




Somehow, dirt and boys have an irresistible attraction to one another.

In the era that was pre 'In-wash' grime-grabbers, it was a siege against soil wrought with a large bar of green 'Fairy' soap, scrubbing brush in hand, 'elbow grease' and dogged determination that succeeded in shifting the stains enough to allow machine to take over.

Before little boys graced our lives, I lived as one chained to sink.

Mine red hands that cracked, chapped with soreness, dry as paper, rough as a washerwoman's.

For I could not shift stains that seeped from heart so soiled it leaked over every surface

Nothing I touched was safe. Germs and dirt lurked everywhere. Nothing shifted it.

In matters of my heart's state, it was more of a Lady Macbeth cry of, "Will these hands ne'er be clean?" as I scrubbed yet again at the crusted-on soil of my imperfections.




Not just the hands, but heart, mind and everything else.

Peter-like, seeking total immersion in Christ's washing power.

In life, I have many a heart-sink moment as the following thoughts invade:

I'm a failure. I can't do this. I'm drowning. I'm my own worst enemy.

Etcetera....etcetera...

No matter how many times I try to clean up on the inside, I fail continually

Spring-cleaning as we know it doesn't help clean ingrained dirt in heart, mind and life.

Though even in the grime-busting there remains a beauty of sorts as bubbles burst with rainbow radiance - a visible reminder of the wondrous power of God's grace to remove our stains. 



Just lately, self-esteem has hit rock bottom. The detritus of discouragement has dirtied my thoughts with its muddy footprints.

Comparison has stolen my joy. Competitiveness sours my peace. Criticism (generally of the self-inflicted variety) saps my confidence.

How dare I have the temerity to pursue a God-sized dream, write a blog and start an on-line course, when health and energy are always compromised? Who do I think I am?

I am continually reminded of my weak human frailty and condition.


Then I remember how God fashioned us as clay - earthy, malleable, ready to be made fit for purpose. And that takes time, co-operation, willingness and obedience.

His purpose involves rescuing from those things that hold us captive; yes, even saving us from ourselves, our worst thoughts, activities and desires. 
"I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand." ~ Psalm 40:1-2
God sees our potential even as we drown in poison.

He places His own desires, plans and purposes in our hearts. 

We can stand strong instead of mud-sinking.

The Rock we stand on is Christ Himself. Firm. Immovable. Strong. Dependable.

We are seed-bearers of His goodness and carriers of His grace, beautiful in His sight.

Image Courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.Net

Though we may still feel grubby, dirt-laden, unclean and soiled, God's word tells us we are washed clean once and for all by the blood of Christ, renewed and restored as an on-going process by His grace.

This gives me hope that though I may sink at times, I am never sunk

Love lifted me and He still does - every single day.

These are words God encouraged me with in prayer and I hope they will bless you too:

Prayer Whispers

"It is in those times when you lose sight of Me and become more focused on the opinion and approval of others that you are tempted to sink into a sea of self-pity or drown in discouragement and despair. Lift your head out of that pit and see Me. I have been here all along. My arm ready to reach down and pull you out as soon as you recognised where you were. Pits and valleys are part of Kingdom living in this world, although you are not intended to stay in them. They are passing-places where lessons are learnt and growth and change begin to occur as you move through them and out the other side. Take My hand today and allow Me to draw you gently onto safe ground and pleasant pastures. Feed on My word, abide in My Presence, soak in My love, and you will be healed, renewed and restored to journey on"

Will you join me in taking hold of the hand of Christ?

He specialises in spring-cleaning our souls.

We're not designed for swamp living, though we can be pretty happy splashing about in muddy waters if that's all we've known.

Let's allow Him to lift us out of the mud and mire we may have slipped into and place us in the safety of His cleansing, healing, loving embrace.


*******

This week Kimberly Coyle is hosting #concretewords - where we write in the abstract using a concrete word prompt - over at her site. The prompt is 'The Sink'.

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Tuesday, 18 December 2012

Because you're worth it

It's that time of year again. Warmly, reassuringly, comfortingly familiar. With mystery at its heart to make it extra special.

We buy the presents. We buy into the pressure to spend, spend, spend.

We buy what we think others will like, need, deserve maybe.

Packaged, beribboned, sparkly, glittering, tantalising,  tempting in their shiny splendour.

Such adornments can either mask the meagre offering within or suggest its inestimable worth.
With sweat of furrowed brow, thrust of elbow, throbbing of feet, jangling of nerves, jingling of coins, ringing of tills and emptying of wallets, we make our offering and sacrifice at the altar of Consumerism.



We assign worth and value to the things we purchase:consumables that can so easily consume us, our hearts, energy and time - because we are worth it - and so are the people we buy for: our loved ones, family and friends.

As gift-giving is one of my love languages it helps me to express how I care for those I buy for. That careful selection (Wish Lists and online shopping are such a boon) so often gives way to hastily thrown together parcels as I find myself drained, exhausted, depleted and dazed in an M.E - blurred and fogged race against the clock to get it all completed before The Day itself.

Each year I vow to change:

  • To pace myself better
  • To stop the panic.
  • To buy less.
  • To give more to charity.
  • To cease from being sucked in by consumerism.

To stop. Be still. Reflect on The One who is worthy of my time, limited energy and attention. To make a priority to focus more on The Gift Himself rather than the gifts to purchase.

How do I make space for Jesus when my days are filled with concern about how much there is to do and how little time I have to try to do it all in? It can be a struggle.

So much of what we celebrate is tainted by worldliness, a perennial keeping up with and out-smarting of  the Joneses, while we demonstrate how multi-skilled, talented and capable we are at meeting the multiplicity of demands upon our lives - frantically juggling those numerous balls in the air (with a fixed smile on our faces) for all we are worth.

So much of our lives is dominated by the need to belong, fit in, be a part of what is current and trendy

The desire to fill our need for self-worth with Things can leave a gaping hole - an empty space of dissatisfaction, disillusionment, discouragement and despair once the lure of the new has waned.




We are worth more than that and we were created for so much more.

'Space'




The holes in our existence
speak of
S-P-A-C-E
writ larger than we: 
Success
Popularity
Acclaim
Celebrity
Ego.
Things we chase
and grasp
so fleetingly
when a vaster Universe
lies within our reach:
Serenity
Peace
Acceptance
Change
Eternity.
In clutching
at straws
we lose
not only Life
but our very
souls
©JoyLenton2012

Our worthiness lies in recognising our need of change, then taking the first step of faith to being in relationship with God, The One who is worthy of the surrender of our hopes, dreams, expectations and lives into His hands.

"When the music fades, 
all is stripped away 
and I simply come; 
longing just to bring 
something that's of worth, 
that will bless Your heart."...

©MattRedman1994 - You can click on the link to hear the full song

The word "worship" literally means "worthiness" or "worth-ship". Simply put, worship is to ascribe worth to something or someone.


Let's try to remember in the rush and crush of Christmas - The Light of lights, King of kings, Lord of lords, Prince of peace, Word made flesh, Who deserves our every breath, prayer, praise and worship.


Chorus:

"I'm coming back to the heart of worship,
and it's all about You,
all about You, Jesus.
I'm sorry, Lord,
for the thing I've made it,
when it's all about You,
all about You, Jesus"

The heart of worship is to bow our hearts before God in wonder, adoration and surrender to all that He is and all that He has done for us in Jesus Christ.

Points to ponder:

The challenge before us this Christmas remains:


Who or what are we worshipping?

What gifts can you offer to God?

I'm linking up here with Tanya Marlow's Advent Thoughts - do check it out