Heart of Worship

A heart matter - Worship

"True worship can only take place when we agree to God sitting not only on His throne in the centre of the universe, but on the throne that stands in the centre of our heart" ~ Robert Colman

An invitation had been issued. So we came. Standing on the threshold of the future.

Hands slippery, nerves tinged with excitement as I held fast to my leonine boyfriend, he of the long tawny mane and liquid-brown roving eyes, urging him toward the back row for Outsiders such as we.

We parked ourselves, politely quiet and oddly formal. Little did I know how familiar such venues were to him, though he hid it well.

Slowly, the room began to fill. No longer the only youthful faces, confirmed by his engaging smile and approving glance as he skirted and flirted safe with me beside.

Then I saw Them. My heart somersaulted, lips dried as I felt again that buzz of connectivity like a jolt of electricity.

Ishmael and Andy. Gospel duo. My reason for coming.

No longer in Sixth Form Common Room, filling it with their vibrant lyrics, faces shining.

Now filling this place with more sound and a mysterious glow - an indefinable Something Else in the air.

As they strummed and thrummed once more, I relaxed into the flow, mellowed out. Caught Lion Mane head-banging in his own inimitable, uninhibited style, caring not who saw him.

I tapped, swayed and clapped, caught up, unknowingly, in the beat and rhythm of life itself. Senses fully engaged and alert as sound, singing and sweetness washed over me.

Image Courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.Net

Things slowed. Voices speaking. One voice taking up the mike.

Ears pricked. Room hushed. A message given.

Spoken just to me.

All was still. Save for a heart hammering fit to burst.

I drank in every word, desert-thirsty for Water that would satiate to the full, absorbing every drop

Words ringing bell-like in head and heart - He. Loves. Me. God loves me??

Never before had I known love Pure ... Holy Offering ... Unconditional. 

I sought answers, meaning, purpose and love everywhere:inappropriate love-givers, horoscopes, Ouija boards, levitation, writing smut, being lust for others.

Casting the net wide, diving deep into murky, treacherous waters, seeking hidden treasure, pearl of great price, and coming up empty, left with silted mouth and heart. 

As child I lay grass-stained looking to heaven, seeing angels in my eyes, always knowing there must be Something Else out there. A better way to live. Someone Who Really Cared.

This child-prodigal was running into arms of Father. Reunited with the One who knew her before she was brought into being. 

Spark of Life awakening a deadened spirit to His Love.

The thrill of knowing and being known ran through me with emotions and heart on fire.

Breath-stop moment of recognition. My soul rejoicing. Heart hungry. Desperate to believe.

"It's not the art, it's the heart. What God reads during our worship is the inner attitude. Worship is spiritual; it's organic; it's relational" ~ La Mar Buchanan

The band blended into mist...instantly forgotten.

The boyfriend...equally lost to awareness.

The people...faded out of sight.

I fell into Love's arms and He held tight

Tears fell. No lady-like flow. This was snot-nosed-kid gushing, heart-poured-out waterfall.

Thrill of being enraptured and captured.

Here was surrender.

Here was adoration.

Here was worship.

I laid it all down before God

Image Courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.Net

All my years (17)

All my sadness, shame and pain (yes, much even then)

And all my being tugged irresistibly in His direction as I shakily joined the snaking line threading its way down the aisle.

Sobbing. Laughter. Cries. Strange foreign-tongued rising cadence, knitting of words beyond understanding, as others gave interpretation.

All mingled in this strange world called Church I would soon be a part of. Waiting to receive me as an adopted child by grace. 

*******

Now, a few decades on - a lifetime of living, leaving, losing, pulling away, being broken, being lost, being renewed, being restored and made whole again - I can never fully recapture the awesome, beautiful moment of coming to faith in Christ.

Nothing else comes close to the sheer wonder of giving 'Worth-Ship' to my God for the very first time

Many idols compete for attention and many sorrows drown out His voice for a while.

"Every moment I live, I live bowed to something. And if I don't see God, I'll bow down to something else" ~ Ann Voskamp

Yet...He still holds out hands to me... grace unlimited, forgiveness, cleansing.

And I offer myself afresh. Living sacrifice of praise. Unworthy as I am and always will be.

And every time my eyes slide from His face, and I backslide from His grace, my heart knows..

It's not about me.

It's not about the place.

It's not even about the worship band, or the building, or the service, or the flowers, candles, vestments, robes, positions, pomp and pageantry, 'the way we do it' all, good as these things may be.

In the hands lifted high, praise, rejoicing, singing, laughing, crying, praying, silence, prone and prostrate, work, rest and play moments - all can be worship - with heart, soul, mind, will and emotions given over, and daily offering of lives surrendered.

For it's all about Him.

Always has been.

Always will be.

The heart of worship is coming back to God's heart, right where we belong.

Linking here with Nacole at sixinthesticks for concrete words, where we write about the abstract using a concrete prompt; and with Tania Vaughan's Monday Ministry where we seek to bring Sunday faith experiences into the everyday week. Do hop over and join us.

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What does worship mean to you? 

Please feel free to join in the comments below. I love to read and reply to them.

Because you're worth it

It's that time of year again. Warmly, reassuringly, comfortingly familiar. With mystery at its heart to make it extra special.

We buy the presents. We buy into the pressure to spend, spend, spend.

We buy what we think others will like, need, deserve maybe.

Packaged, beribboned, sparkly, glittering, tantalising,  tempting in their shiny splendour.

Such adornments can either mask the meagre offering within or suggest its inestimable worth.

With sweat of furrowed brow, thrust of elbow, throbbing of feet, jangling of nerves, jingling of coins, ringing of tills and emptying of wallets, we make our offering and sacrifice at the altar of Consumerism.

We assign worth and value to the things we purchase:consumables that can so easily consume us, our hearts, energy and time - because we are worth it - and so are the people we buy for: our loved ones, family and friends.

As gift-giving is one of my love languages it helps me to express how I care for those I buy for. That careful selection (Wish Lists and online shopping are such a boon) so often gives way to hastily thrown together parcels as I find myself drained, exhausted, depleted and dazed in an M.E - blurred and fogged race against the clock to get it all completed before The Day itself.

Each year I vow to change:

• To pace myself better
• To stop the panic.
• To buy less.
• To give more to charity.
• To cease from being sucked in by consumerism.

To stop. Be still. Reflect on The One who is worthy of my time, limited energy and attention. To make a priority to focus more on The Gift Himself rather than the gifts to purchase.

How do I make space for Jesus when my days are filled with concern about how much there is to do and how little time I have to try to do it all in? It can be a struggle.

So much of what we celebrate is tainted by worldliness, a perennial keeping up with and out-smarting of  the Joneses, while we demonstrate how multi-skilled, talented and capable we are at meeting the multiplicity of demands upon our lives - frantically juggling those numerous balls in the air (with a fixed smile on our faces) for all we are worth.

So much of our lives is dominated by the need to belong, fit in, be a part of what is current and trendy

The desire to fill our need for self-worth with Things can leave a gaping hole - an empty space of dissatisfaction, disillusionment, discouragement and despair once the lure of the new has waned.

We are worth more than that and we were created for so much more.

'Space'

The holes in our existence

speak of

S-P-A-C-E

writ larger than we: 

Success

Popularity

Acclaim

Celebrity

Ego.

Things we chase

and grasp

so fleetingly

when a vaster Universe

lies within our reach:

Serenity

Peace

Acceptance

Change

Eternity.

In clutching

at straws

we lose

not only Life

but our very

souls

©JoyLenton2012

Our worthiness lies in recognising our need of change, then taking the first step of faith to being in relationship with God, The One who is worthy of the surrender of our hopes, dreams, expectations and lives into His hands.

The Heart of Worship - 

"When the music fades, 

all is stripped away 

and I simply come; 

longing just to bring 

something that's of worth, 

that will bless Your heart."...

©MattRedman1994 - You can click on the link to hear the full song

The word "worship" literally means "worthiness" or "worth-ship". Simply put, worship is to ascribe worth to something or someone.

Let's try to remember in the rush and crush of Christmas - The Light of lights, King of kings, Lord of lords, Prince of peace, Word made flesh, Who deserves our every breath, prayer, praise and worship.

Chorus:

"I'm coming back to the heart of worship,

and it's all about You,

all about You, Jesus.

I'm sorry, Lord,

for the thing I've made it,

when it's all about You,

all about You, Jesus"

The heart of worship is to bow our hearts before God in wonder, adoration and surrender to all that He is and all that He has done for us in Jesus Christ.

Points to ponder:

The challenge before us this Christmas remains:

Who or what are we worshipping?

What gifts can you offer to God?

I'm linking up here with Tanya Marlow's Advent Thoughts - do check it out