Celebrating a man and a marriage

Nobody really knows the inside story of a relationship apart from the two people involved in it.

Our marriage certainly didn't look like a marriage made in heaven from the outset.

I had a troubled, dysfunctional childhood, my parents were divorced and my future mother-in-law clearly disapproved of her son's choice.

We had only been dating for a few months when he proposed to me.

The look of shock-horror on her face when we announced our engagement was testimony to her feelings and a deep concern to me and my fragile self-esteem.

For I came from the wrong side of the tracks and was not the wife she'd envisaged for her youngest son. My background was predominantly working class and impoverished. I was also a loose canon spiritually  as I came to faith in a Pentecostal church - horrors for a staunch Evangelical such as she was.

And I was a young woman carrying far too much baggage from her past. Altogether an unsuitable choice, apart from the fact he clearly adored me ....foolish boy.

Plus, we married in indecent haste (in her eyes) and really should have waited until I'd completed my nurse training and he had secured gainful employment after leaving university.

But we were young, deeply in love, full of optimism and enthusiasm and committed to making this work.

As we said our vows (the old-fashioned kind), little did we know how taking one another 'in sickness and in health' would lead to far more years with the latter than the former.

So my mother-in-law was probably right to be at least a little bit doubtful that this union would go the distance.

Even though she was basing her reservations on the knowledge she had then, not on what would happen in the months and years to come.

My Philosopher husband would have to call upon supernatural reserves of patience, perseverance and endurance to cope with the life we had waiting ahead of us.

Not one that either of us signed up for.

But our reality, nevertheless.

Fortunately, my mother-in-law and I became close over time and genuine love and trust eventually bloomed between us. She was a tremendous help and support when our first son was born and she absolutely doted on both grandsons, as they did on her.

Now, as my husband and I celebrate our 38th wedding anniversary, I do so with a tribute to the wonderful man I am so privileged to be married to.

For I wouldn't be half the woman I am today if he hadn't stuck by me and continued to pour his love into my heart and life - as he still does every single day.

Here's to you, sweetheart, beloved husband and greatest friend....

My beloved

My beloved is like no other

He is chief confidant, encourager,

best friend, counsellor and lover

He has become house-husband

carer, chef, chauffeur, gardener,

joy bringer, helper and life sharer

My beloved is like no other

He takes broken confidence

trust and low self-esteem,

tenderly gathers the pieces

and patiently reveals

a scene, picture of wholeness

the best I can be in God's eyes

though pain and sickness conceal it

Laid out before him

my fractured heart, body and life

are now objects of beauty

become companion and wife

as he looks at me with Christ-eyes

of compassion, understanding and patience

enough to cover all trouble and strife

My beloved is like no other

in his desire to see me healed

from the chains of the past

and the part he has played

in bringing to pass the day

when a new me is revealed

Meanwhile, he gives and loves

unselfishly, requiring only

that I respond with the best

of my limited ability

as body, mind, every part

gladly submits to his love

which fills and overflows my heart

©JoyLenton2013

And if our marriage didn't look as if it was a match made in heaven, we have relied heavily on heaven's resources to keep it going.

There have always been three people in our relationship. It has been greatly enhanced and strengthened by placing our lives, faith and trust in God. 

He never leaves us nor forsakes us and a cord of three strands is not quickly broken (Ecclesiastes 4:12).

Without God's presence, input, enabling and equipping we wouldn't have made it past the first year, never mind get this far

He gives us love for one another every day, plus a continual outpouring of grace to cope with tough times.

I know I have been amazingly blessed in the husband that was chosen for me. I am eternally grateful to him for sticking with me and to God for giving him the faithfulness and patient endurance to do so.

And, just as a closing thought, I'd like to encourage you to be aware of the important relationships in your life and consider how much God has blessed you too. 

It may not be a life partner or children, but each of us usually has someone influencing and impacting our lives in a positive way.

If you do, then it is good to tell them how much you care about and appreciate them being there for you. You don't have to wait until it's an anniversary or special occasion.

How about today? 

PS:Just in case you were wondering:

• The rings pictured are a replica of our own wedding rings when shiny and new
• My beloved's photograph was taken on our wedding day
• This post is one of the "here's one I made earlier" variety prepared in advance, left to marinade, stirred, seasoned and served up on the appropriate occasion
• A printed copy of the poem made its way into my husband's card this morning

Linking here with Missional Women Faith Filled Friday. You are very welcome to join in.

To stay in touch with my posts you can subscribe by e-mail, connect with me on Twitter or like my Facebook page

Journeying

Any journey we undertake with God is one where we are never alone, even if we may feel like it sometimes.

Our lives can seem empty, despite being full of activity, and we may sense an inner restlessness that nothing else can satisfy. 

A gentle, holy whisper in our hearts that bids us "Come" is worth paying attention to

Ever since I started my God-sized dream journey, He has made it abundantly clear I can do nothing without Him and that my deepest need is to spend time alone in His presence.

This week, Holley encouraged us to: set aside time to be with God - pray, journal, take a walk, or simply sit quietly and listen and then share what our heart receives.

Here's what happened:

"One does not discover new lands without consenting to lose sight of the shore.." ~ Andre Gide

 The shore we cling to may be one of Security. Comfort. Ease. Predictability.

It takes courage to step out into the unknown, unsure of where we'll end up.

In the changing scenes of life I am one who favours stability, though not stagnation.

My early life experiences steer me in the direction of wanting to be safe, to know what lies ahead and how to deal with it.

Yet God is always taking me out of my comfort zone, time and again.

Journeying with Him is anything but stable and predictable, even if His love, grace, help, comfort and character are always to be relied upon.

Though God is unquestionably good (and so are His plans for us), He is also (as Lucy learnt about Aslan) Not Safe in terms of being controllable or predictable - far from it.

Following God's ways are a challenge that stretches us to the utmost.

Journeying through the twists and turns of life involves accepting valleys as well as mountain-tops.

I'm aware that I would prefer the quick detour to the top rather than a circuitous, uphill climb that leaves me panting and breathless, red-faced with exertion and exhaustion.

Too much of my life is wilderness dwelling. I want to shake sand off and get moving somewhere more hospitable, but God has other ideas.

I sense Him saying: Pause. Breathe. Reflect. Enjoy the scenery. Yes, right where I am.

I'm a restless, impatient pilgrim, always wanting to see what is round the next corner.

Staying put to rest, reflect and enjoy the scenery before moving ahead is a challenge.

Being on pilgrimage is what shapes, makes, and often breaks us - removing preconceptions, limitations and ideas of managing in our own strength alone.

"Blessed are those whose strength is in you, who have set their heart on pilgrimage. As they pass through the valley of Baca (weeping), they make it a place of springs, the autumn rain also covers it with pools. They go from strength to strength, till each appears before God in Zion" ~ Psalm 84:5 - 7

Those deep, dark places are where we do our best growing as believers as we set our hearts on continuing the journey. The valley of weeping and wailing, darkness and discouragement, sadness and sorrow, can become a place of refreshment and watering for dry, thirsty souls because the Lord is close to the crushed and broken-hearted (Psalm 34:18)

'Autumn rain' speaks to me of the season of my life, autumnal years made mellow and ripe with potential of abundant fruitfulness - God willing; He isn't finished with me yet!

Those pools of refreshment may not be visible for a while, though rivulets run freely from the throne of Grace if we only look for and anticipate them.

The fruitful life may look anything but on the surface, yet yield great abundance in the spiritual realm.

Our frailty, weakness and vulnerability are the very avenues through which God shines best.

"If God sends us on stony paths, He will provide strong shoes" ~ Alexander Maclaren

If I can enjoy the moment, be fully present in the here and now, that way lies peace.

It is a rare gift to be able to trust God for each moment, enjoying His hand holding ours through storms, dark places and smoother pathways, with no alarm or anxiety in either state.

I'm not there yet and may never be, but I am grateful for the insights as I progress in faith.

As it is, God graces us all with companions, reassurance and hope along the way.

The words below are an encouragement to keep us journeying on, no matter what:

"Let nothing disturb you, nothing dismay you; all things are passing; God never changes; patient endurance attains all things; whoever possesses God lacks nothing; God alone suffices" ~ Teresa of Avila

******

What has God been revealing to you this week?

Do share in the comments below so we can support one another.

Linking here with Holley Gerth and the rest of the God-sized dream team.

We would love you to join us on the journey and share what God is doing in your life.

To stay in touch, you can subscribe by e-mail, link with me on Google Friend Connect or by liking my Facebook page.

Run out of steam?

Hi,
Perhaps you are somebody who is firing on all cylinders? I hope so. Or you may have periods in the day when you are 'up and at 'em' and others where you slump wearily and are desperate for the next caffeine fix or - even just to take a break..Please!!

Feeling tired is common to us all. Life can be hectic and it can seem as if we have so much to try to fit into so little time. 

Short-term health problems can temporarily frustrate and derail us. What if being unwell, sick and tired was your permanent state of being?

Welcome to the world of the Chronically Sick

• It's largely a Secret Club
• Members don't wear badges -  though they may use Blue ones
• It costs nothing to join -  but may take everything you have from you
• There are no meetings to attend -  although plenty of doctor's surgeries and hospitals to visit
• It isn't always obvious that you belong -   the criteria for joining can be largely hidden from others
• It can be a temporary membership lasting months/years -  or you may be in it for decades
• The perks can be Care and Attention, Free Equipment and Medication -  or not 
• You join by default -  but opting out can be impossible
• Your experience of membership may differ widely -   from others or your own expectations
• Once you belong -  others may never see you in the same light again

I am writing this because it is National Invisible Chronic Illness Awareness Week and my own life has suffered a serious derailment with M.E., Fibromyalgia and Arthritis

In the early days the effects of my illness were often hidden. In my worst times I was housebound and bed-bound and thus away from public scrutiny. 

It was easier to believe that this was an unwelcome, temporary blip in my life and recovery was just around the corner.

After 20 years +  there are signs that are more obvious to others even when I've made a huge effort -  in terms of energy expended -  to appear 'normal''.

Suffering the long-term effects of any illness, whether mental or physical, includes:

• The awful side-effects of medication
• The deep bone weariness with it all
• The feeling that the pain may never end
• The grief for the loss of the life we anticipated

Alongside the changes in looks and body shape/tone/fitness levels is a far more insidious change of identity crisis as we may no longer feel, look, act or function as we used to. 

Such changes can take years to overcome as we learn to adapt and adjust to the new person we are becoming.

That change of outlook can be as traumatic or feel even worse than the actual illness itself. Yet deep inside I am the same person I have always been.

I wrote a poem called 'Invasion' (you can find it here in the post 'How does your garden grow?') in an attempt to describe something of what it can feel like to have M.E. 

The poem below is another way to view having an Invisible Chronic Illness whereby confusion can set in as to who we are and how best to describe ourselves to others.

It is written less emotively and in a more light-hearted fashion than the one mentioned above. Hopefully, those of you who experience such problems  - either personally, as a carer, or within your immediate circle - will be able to relate to its sentiments.

I'm like....?

There are many tasks

I just have to shirk

My spirit is willing,

but my body won't work

I'm like a car

That's stuck in reverse,

stalling, low on fuel,

gear changes make it worse

I'm like a carriage

shunted to the siding;

Speedy trains pull away,

while I remain in hiding

I'm like an engine

that's missing a bolt;

Push me too hard

and I grind to a halt

I'm like a candle

stuttering in the breeze,

struggling to stay alight,

snuffed out with ease

What I'm trying to say

is difficult, you see;

I'm not quite myself - 

but I'm Still Me

©JoyLenton2012

The journey I am taking in life and faith is being written here. 
I would love you to join me on the journey and share your thoughts too.