Let the flame burn

She was on a mission. Nothing was going to stop her.

Chin lifted high, head in the clouds, determination in every step, pounding the pavement with purpose.

On the cusp of full womanhood, her heart glowed fierce for the lover of her soul.

Scorning fear, she burned with a message to share. Tasting mercy and Love Divine for the first time ~ how could she help but speak about it?

Eyes bright with intent, she breezed her way into clubs and pubs, high school platform, public places, missions.

She was oblivious to hostile stares or rejection, swishing it away like the dress-folds dancing around her boots.

Here hope blazed bold.

Here lay a mind illuminated by Truth and a soul set on fire for God.

And now?

I marvel at her unself-consciousness, her courage, faith and fortitude.

My younger self ~ so secure in the fact she was loved and accepted by her Lord and Saviour ~ braving the boundaries of her time and situation.

All of this came before the catastrophic crash of a mind splintered by a mental health breakdown, until God helped her to slowly pick up and put together each shattered piece.

Before shame, guilt and fear haunted her days and nights.

Before the pressure and stress of life loomed large.

Before the Divine flame within flickered low almost to extinction.

Prior to pain pervading and pulverising her frame.

Before being bound by weakness, sickness and infirmity.

She walked strong. Kept the faith. Yielded all. 

I barely recognise the young woman I used to be. A pang of regret and envy stirs deep.

I yearn for change. I desire for God to light a fire in me again. Let this flicker become a steady flame to warm other hearts and speak of His great love for me.

Maybe you do too?

We can all fall away in word, deed or thought. Give up seeking, asking, hoping, believing.

And now? I long to experience all that God has in mind for me right here, right now. In this Autumnal season of my life let there be a bonfire of all that holds me back. 

God gives us special grace as new believers to walk close and sense His Presence, to have joy in believing and knowing we are saved.

We're on fire and it shows in our faces, behaviour and speech.

Then life intervenes... we falter, become neglectful and forgetful, doubts spring up; our flame becomes a mere spark.

We try to keep going in our own strength instead of relying on His.

But as long as there is even a hint, a faint glimmer of hope, and faith and trust in Him, God ignites the fire again. A smouldering wick He will not quench.

Will you join me in asking Him to ignite a fire again?

'A prayer for change'

Lord of earth, sky and sea

would You ignite a fire in me?

As your Word beams laser-bright

into all-encompassing darkness, to reveal

a shining Light of Truth and purity,

so may I, in my small corner obscurity

be a glint and glimmer to all in sight

of Your great love, mercy, grace and light.

Whether by the words I write or speak

the acts I do throughout the week

all should tell of a burning love for You

that is consistent, deep and true.

And even if I am tired or sick

and my light is a wavering candlewick

I know that when the time is ready

You will make it flame strong and steady

to be a source of warmth to encourage another

weak and struggling sister or brother.

For I don't want to sleep-walk through my days

but I do want to bathe in Your heavenly rays

and to be consumed in all I say or do

by what consumes You

Amen

©JoyLenton2014

Here's a blast from the past for you ~ The group Parchment singing 'Light up the Fire'. I was privileged to see them perform this live at SPREE {Spiritual Re-Emphasis} Conference just after I became a Christian. I hope you enjoy it too!

A few soul-enhancing, inspiring and firing-up reads to dip into:

'If we could have coffee ~ 30 Days of Heart to Heart Encouragement' by Holley Gerth

'Holiness, Truth and the Presence of God' by Francis Frangipane

'Centering Prayer and Inner Awakening' by Cynthia Borgeault

'Walking on Water ~ Reflections on Faith and Art' by Madeleine L'Engle

********

I always find time spent in God's word and in His Presence, plus Christian books and music help fan the flame within.

I'd love you to share what helps to keep the flame alive in your spirit too

Linking here with Nacole for #concretewords where we write out the abstract with a concrete word prompt. This week's prompt is:'Fire'. 

And with Lyli  for #ThoughtProvokingThursday



     





And with Mel for #EssentialFridays

You are warmly encouraged and invited to join in.

Why you don't have to hide anymore

Welcome friend.

I'm so pleased you are here.

In this space I want to share coffee for your heart.

Drink in whatever troubles you.

Offer a listening ear and a hand to hold.

Share the things that bless and encourage me.

Be someone you can feel at home with.

So kick off your shoes, pick up your coffee (or tea if you prefer), make yourself comfy and get ready.

We'll share coffee, comfort and encouragement.

Today, I have a letter to write you...

Dear You,
I see the pain you try to hide behind words and smiles, because deep in the windows of your soul you carry a weight of woundedness.

Despite evidence to the contrary, you don't feel truly loved or validated.

Nothing really fills the gaping space where trust, safety and security should be.

It feels easier to erect walls around yourself than allow anyone close admittance to your inner core. Fortifications. Defences. Build them high enough and no mere mortal can scale them.

Until someone reaches out and breaches your defences, and you notice how hedged in you really are.

My friend, this was my life for many years. 

I lived scared. Hid the pain. Refused to recognise how I'd closed off my heart. 

On the surface we can seem fine, in control, content even. On the inside? When we're on our own? We curl away as foetal-curved commas withdrawing from ourselves and the world around.

There is help. There is hope. We don't have to hide anymore. 

God is here. He is ready, willing and able to enter into our pain, help us face the walls; and as we co-labour with Him in their removal..brick by tiny brick...they come down and we are set free.

His unconditional Love ~ is our security.

His sacrifice on the cross ~ the doorway to forgiveness and mercy.

His Spirit within ~ our shelter and safe place.

His grace ~ our enabling and equipping.

His Life ~ becomes as one~ with our life ~ as we open up to Him ~ like a flower to the sun.

These are the encouraging words and thoughts I want you to hear as we start a new year: {and believe me, I need to hear them too}

Absorb the truth of who you are ~ beautiful and beloved.

Know deep in your heart ~ you are safe always.

Hold on ~ to the reassurance that you can be set free.

Feel deeply within ~  you are special, precious to God and loved beyond measure.

Believe ~ you can do all things through Christ who strengthens you.

Fight on ~ whenever the going gets tough. Because God fights for you and will never give up on you. 

Listen to His voice. Hear the heartbeat of God soothing your own. Come close to the throne of grace and find mercy in your hour of need.

Healing and wholeness are there for the taking.

Are you ready? I hope so. It may take time. I'm still very much a 'work in progress' in this area as in many, but we all have to start somewhere. 

This could be the year you open up your heart to all that God has in store for you. 

God's arms of love are reaching out to you, just as we reach out to our own loved ones to hold them safe and close.

I close with today's #smallstone offering {part of the 31 day Mindful Writing Challenge} to bless your heart:

'Arms of love'

"Arms of love encircle me

holding secure and steady

as I finally exhale, release

breathe soft and calm

feeling prepared and ready

to accept and believe

hear and receive

that as beloved arms

encompass round

God's Spirit hovers

without a sound yet

speaking things He wants

to urgently impart

into the very depths

of my insecure heart

saying, "You are safe. You are loved. 

You are beautiful. You are enough.

You are free ~ just trust in Me"

©JoyLenton2014

Joining here with Holley and all the other lovely encouragers who want to share 'Coffee for Your Heart'. Do join us next Wednesday for more words of reassurance and encouragement.

Holley has written a lovely encouraging book:''If we could have coffee ~ 30 Days of Heart to Heart Encouragement' that will really help lift the January blues.

And here's a great resource that has aided me in the process of working on removing the walls around my heart and becoming free ~ 'The Wall Around Your Heart' by Mary de Muth.

Also linking with Emily and Jennifer as we seek to write out our #ImperfectProse to #TellHIsStory

Whispers on the wind

Some sounds rise loud and clear and our senses are alert, heightened to every nuance, change of pitch and tone. 

New parents seek shades of meaning in every utterance their infant makes. 

My son and his wife are at the stage of learning and interpreting every vocal expression of their month-old baby son. 

They listen hard. With intention and purpose. Ready to act on whatever messages they receive. 

Ready to provide their newborn with all the care, comfort, love and protection he needs.

A little later on, they will delight in every coo, sigh, chuckle, gurgle and giggle he makes before recognisable words are shaped and formed. 

Most will seem indecipherable to those who are not 'in the know'. But these two will become experts in analysing each intonation, finding them infinitely precious and meaningful to them alone until others can understand and interpret them too.

We all long for connection. Desire to communicate. To express ourselves. Be heard. Understood. 

And when it happens ~ links form, tangled threads let loose that bind one person to another in harmony.

If we have such a strong in-built desire to be heard, listened to and taken seriously, then think how important it is for God to make Himself known to us in a similar fashion.

It begs the question:Are we listening? Paying keen attention? Or have we largely switched off to Him? 

When 2013 began, I was greatly blessed in reading 'Jesus Calling' by Sarah Young and found that God started to speak to me too.

I decided to record those words that God whispered to my heart as 'Prayer Whispers'.

At first, it felt like I had a clear line, no fogginess or indistinct blurring.

So I scribbled the thoughts down in a prayer journal.

Some got shared here.

Most felt private for me or maybe I just lacked courage to declare them as 'words from above' ~ after all, who am I? I'm nobody special. Just a woman seeking to follow God's heart and leading for her life. 

Over time, they lessened (or I got bad at hearing them) and became infrequent.

But all the more precious for their rarity.

Just before the new year began, I heard quite distinctly. Though I wavered, challenged, questioned...Is this really You, God?

He made it clear. I had a new 'word' for 2014 and it was ~ 'Listen'.

Every whisper on the wind might be the sound of His voice. 

Every person I communicate with might need me to listen more intently to their words or to the hidden message in their heart. Read gestures, posture, expressions, sighs.

Every stir in the air around might be God speaking to me through creation.

Perhaps this is not only a natural follow on to last year's injunction to 'Come', but a way of ensuring I'm in the best position possible to catch it all.

So what happens next? How do I assist the listening process?

By joining the #oneword365 challenge, making my intentions public (no backing out now), plus writing my first post about listening and why it's so important to me on poetryjoy.com followed by this one and more to come as the months unfold.

Aiming to read 'Listening to your life' Daily Meditations by Frederick Beuchner.

I am also taking part in the 2014 Mindful Writing Challenge because I need all the help I can get to deliberately notice and pay attention to my life.

And to close with here is today's #smallstone offering of mindfulness:

"Commencing black and blue

dissolving into rainbow-shadowed hue

a central core of white-hot heat and light

burning radiantly, glowing bright

standing sentinel, upright and strong

until the slightest breeze comes along

then bending, dancing, sway and quiver

like a frightened child all a-shiver"




Life, objects around, voices, words, every sound, appear changed, transformed and new when viewed with eyes opening in surprise beyond their everyday guise.

*******

My hope and prayer is that you will discover the joy of listening too, so you don't miss the words God is trying to get across to you. 

"God speaks in the silence of the heart. Listening is the beginning of prayer" ~ Mother Teresa

And do share what you are learning. I would love to know about your journey. We can support and encourage one another here.

Do you have a 'word' for 2014? 

Has God spoken to you lately in ways you just couldn't miss? 

Please feel free to share in the comments below.

May this be a blessed and happy new year of hearing and receiving God's best for your life!

Linking here with Lyli, Emily and Jennifer

When a gift doesn't look like one

In this busy season for writing lists and buying gifts, we try to decide what to give others and may wonder what we'll receive in return. Although not every gift is a welcome one.

God handed me a gift I have failed to receive graciously, denied I'd been given, tried to ignore, declined to unwrap or accept.

He gave me the gift of fragility and weakness.

People aren't exactly queueing up to ask or pray for it.

I mean, how is that even a gift? Isn't it more like a punishment?

On the outside, observing the life of a person with M.E and chronic illness which incapacitates physically and mentally, impacts every activity and causes profound fatigue, pain and weakness ~ well, who in the world would want to receive it?

Isn't this one to hand back to God with a, “No thanks, you must be mistaken”? Which is just how we feel about so many painful and challenging circumstances.

Only...I am beginning to appreciate that He allows these things into our lives for a reason. And I'm starting to... Read more here at my encouraging writer and social media friend, James Prescott's site where I am delighted to be guest posting today..

Let truth be told

Sometimes we have to face up to home-truths about ourselves that make us squirm and try to wriggle away with shame and embarrassment.

I'm having one of those times.

As I've gone through Advent my deepest desire has been to connect with God at heart level, sense the pulse of His love beating through me, waken to His presence and awaken that desire in others.

The reality? A bit grim actually.

Well.. to be fair, there have been moments when He spoke clearly and insightfully, gave me poetic words to share that have been a blessing to others, and...there have also been long stretches of days without end when I trip over myself continually, hot with shame and disappointment, barely able to lift my head at all.

And as for hearing His voice, resting and listening, feeling peaceful, joyful ~ no, none of those to any great measure at all, sad to say.

Or maybe I have but I failed to see or appreciate it. Because, don't we just pull away whenever we fail our image of ourselves, never mind how we think God perceives us?

I've blushed hot and shivered cold with the way I've reacted to life recently.

Self control? Maturity? Not in this fallen woman's heart. Against all intention and desire I cannot seem to stop speaking negatively about myself most of all ~ denying the truth of His word and what it says about who I am in Christ.

I rail out at my beloved, with my perfectionist tendencies insisting on the rightness of my stance or version of events blinding me to the pain he feels at being discounted, and the hurt on his dear face.

Yes, sorry to say, blaming things (and other people) has come all too easy.

I'm hormonal. I'm in need of a break. I'm overtired/unwell/stressed/pressured etc. etc..

All these reasons (excuses) from my inner voice fall into a meaningless void whenever I've allowed God to get a word in edgeways.

Missing those times of still attentivenes before Him (due to my inner restlessness) hasn't helped much.

Now I am seeing that lies (even supposedly kind white ones), wrong attitudes and behaviour don't stand a chance in the Light of Truth ~ pure, holy, fiery, searing, soul-cleansing truth.

And as I've sought answers in the secret place, I sense words of Truth hitting home with hammer and nail finality yet with an overriding gentleness and grace.

Truth is a Person. It is Christ Himself. The One who desires truth in our inner being, the bringer and revealer of all wisdom, insight and knowledge.

He longs for us to see the truth of His life and follow after Him.

Lately, I've been too wrapped up in bad behaviour ~ swiftly followed by self-condemnation ~ to even want to speak these things out loud.

Yet here I am making a public declaration of it all and risking the ruining of whatever good reputation I may have gained in the eyes of others.

Truth hurts ~ but knowing it sets us free. We remain enslaved without it. 

Beyond anything else, I long and I need to be free. 

Captive to the manipulations and abuse from others in my childhood, slave to my own emotions, perceived as damaged goods, left with broken dreams and a broken heart ~ all these things need healing and restoring.

Without God's truth I am adrift on a sea of emotions, rudderless in every storm, powerless in the midst of problems, fearful instead of faithful, weak and weary instead of strong and capable.

For our capabilities rest in His ability alone. His keeping, holding, sustaining mercy, love and grace.

Real freedom means release from all that chains our souls to their earthly nature. It involves exchanging our self-driven lives for ones surrendered to God.

Where does this leave us?

When life throws us to our knees ~ it's the best place to look up and find Him there.

When we sin we need a Saviour ~ more than ever.

When we become discouraged and disappointed ~ we can become reappointed in Him. 

When we get tired of the everyday toil ~ we have hope for this life and life eternal.

When we want Christmas to be perfect ~ we can only find that in Christ as He is at the centre of it all.

So I turn once again to the One who brings beauty from ashes, collects my tears in a bottle, sees and understands all, who offers mercy and forgiveness rich and free ~ given at great cost and price to Him.

Because I NEED a Saviour. I need His love to wrap me round, His Light to reveal the way I should walk, His word to instruct and guide, His endless patience and kindness, His restoration and healing.

And I shrug my shoulders at the thought of doing Christmas (or anything else for that matter) perfectly ~ especially as I am so dependent on Him and on others for help.

I admit and confess my weaknesses, faults and failings, regret my bad behaviour, dry my tears, breathe deep, rest myself once more in His presence, feel His hand upon me offering Himself again, sense Holy Spirit's anointing, and ~ move on changed ~ in heart if not in actions yet.

And, dear reader, that's the honest truth.

The best gift we've ever been given is to be offered a relationship with Jesus as Lord and Saviour.

I want to appreciate it to the full and pass on to you my joy in knowing Him, the way He meets me at my point of deepest need, how He delivers and sets me free.

If you feel like you've done nothing else of worth this year, please do yourself a favour and seek The Truth Himself.

He is waiting. Christ is here. He has come.

The Truth has been told.

*******

Another confession:Most blog posts take a bit of time, refinement, fine-tuning and editing. But this? This one just poured out of me. And I've left it 'as is' in the hope that another soul will read and see I don't have it all together; I'm a 'work in progress' by God's grace and as messed up as the next person; and maybe, just maybe, they'll breathe a sigh of relief and feel less alone. 

That's my hope and prayer.

For we all need a Saviour. 'Aint that the truth?

Linking here with Nacole for #concretewords This week's prompt is ~ Truth. You are very welcome and warmly invited to join in.

And with Jennifer for #TellHisStory

A new life begins

During this Advent season our thoughts stray toward the mystery, awe and wonder of the Incarnation.

And we remember how Jesus took on our earthly human frame.

In considering what a marvel and miracle it is for God Himself to enter human history, we cannot forget the Son of Man hidden within the babe in a manger.

I'm sharing thoughts on this topic over at my writer friend Rebekah's site today where I have the honour and privilege of guest posting as part of her great series on 'The Spirit of Christmas'.

Here's a snippet:

Nothing else quite stirs our deep protective and nurturing instincts more than a newborn baby.

Such sweet vulnerability resides within.

A simple grasp of tiny fist clinging to adult finger a reminder of how fragile this new life is.

And those feet. Adorable, perfect miniatures of our own. Yet in the months ahead limbs unfurl and grow strong to support a toddler's frame.

As we bend to kiss a brow, wipe tears, give nourishment, witness growth and change before our eyes, do we ever think of Mary, mother of our Lord, as she lovingly tended to her son?

See Him as infant helpless.

"For to us a child is born, to us a son is given..."

Hands that flung stars into space reduced to starfish baby span ~ made calloused by carpentry, torn by sharp nails, pinioned to a cross of sorrow and shame.

A mouth that spoke creation into existence now made milky-soft, dependent ~ to become a voice of wisdom, instruction and healing for others.

Feet used to circling the world with silent steps ~ now made...  ~  You can read the rest here ~ 

*******

An invitation not to be missed

One of the loveliest things anyone can do for us is to invite and welcome us into their life.

To share at a deep level is trust revealed and given.

And our response to it could make or break that friendship.

Because there is a reciprocal response required.

How about when it's God issuing the invitation?

Will we draw near to the Source of Life Himself?

Maybe we will go to Him willingly if we appreciate the worth of this invitation. Or maybe we hesitate ~ wary, uncertain, or unwilling to follow.

Since the beginning of this year God has been trying to get my attention. The 'word' He laid on my heart should have given me a clue as to His intentions.

Yet my soul has pulled away and strayed more often than not from the simple call of "Come".

This week three words have repeated themselves:"Come to Me" and I know it's time I listened and heeded them.

'Come to Me'

Come to Me when you are weary

worn out and sad

Come to Me when you are happy,

rejoicing and glad

Come to Me in sorrow

when clouds obscure your day

Come to Me in anger

when nothing goes your way

Come to Me when you are empty

needing to be filled

Come to Me anxious, wary,

needing to be stilled

Come to Me impatient, restless,

desperate for a change

Come to Me when life's a mess

for Me to rearrange

Come to Me continually, always,

just as you are

Come to Me willingly each day

though I seem near or far

Come to Me hungry, waiting

to be fed

Come to Me dry, thirsty,

for My Living Bread

Come to Me ~ don't hesitate

or stay in despair

Come to Me now

I will always Be Here

©JoyLenton2013

"Come to me all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest" ~ Matthew 11:28

"Come, all who are thirsty, come to the waters; and you who have no money, come buy and eat! Come buy wine and milk without cost...Give ear and come to me; hear me that your soul may live" ~ Isaiah 55:1 -3

I've really needed this reminder recently.

As days get busier and more stressful I can't afford not to go to God on a regular basis.

He alone is the centre and oasis of calm in the midst of chaos.

Peace in our pain and problems.

Rest and refreshment in times of rush and hurry.

Continual love and compassion for when we need a tender touch.

Our patience and endurance when every last scrap deserts us.

Hope in the hard places.

Grace as we grapple to see our way forward.

Light eternal to make the way ahead clearer.

*******

Maybe God is saying something similar to you too?

Perhaps, like me, you sense Holy Spirit speaking to your heart.

Maybe this Advent season is a good time to come to Him and let Christ live in your heart.

********

Joining here with Jennifer for #TellHisStory and with Nacole for #concretewords

**Note** ~ This poem is a rare one now on 'Words of Joy' as most of my poetry is being profiled on my new site poetryjoy.com ~ I'd love you to hop over and take a look.