Knowing and being known

Silence is a space where our thoughts fly free as birds and we watch them circling wild.

They feel impossible to ignore or pin down. Grow larger as we give them room to move around.

Once we snare one, then ten others rush as an angry horde in our heads.

And we sigh because we thought that being still and being quiet physically would also somehow impose a little rest in our mind.

Isn't that why we draw aside and seek tranquillity? It will come in time. Patience is its own reward.

What I am learning as a beginner in the art of contemplative prayer is to be able to welcome the thoughts, observe their presence and gently release them again as I remain at rest.

But some thoughts linger like dark intruders trying to cloak us in their presence, stifle life and vitality.

They leave overwhelming and painful feelings behind.

And when they arrive we seek to eliminate them as quickly as possible because who wants to be reminded of the state of their heart where worry sits deep, anxiety is anchored and fears float free?

There seems to be enough darkness in the world for us to be willing to admit to it within our souls. Such knowing seems to be a step too far most days.

Little do we know that such self-awareness is a doorway to finding freedom.

Discouragement sits at the door of our heart, with despair and depression hot on its heels, and we can feel swamped by it unless we fully know and accept who we are and Whose we are.

Such pondering was in my heart this morning when I prayed and asked God to speak to me.

And He did, in the words below. My hope and prayer is that this prayer whisper will encourage you too as you seek to know and be known by God.

Prayer Whisper:Know yourself and know who you are in Me

"Know yourself. But do not grieve or become discouraged by who you are and how you act or react. Such inner understanding of your drives, desires and passions is essential in harnessing their energy for good purposes rather than evil.

Take time to sit with silence. Heed what rises to the surface of your conscious mind. Do not fear those things which appear. Acknowledge these depths of your being; welcome them as guests and guides who have come to teach you a better way to live.

Discernment begins with knowing who you are as a fallen human being made alive and righteous in Christ. 

Try not to dwell on the negative. See those aspects of your character and behaviour as wounds. 

Each wound bears the piercing of blood-red nails, an imprint of cross-inflicted agony I willingly endured to set you free.

Aim to live lightly as you address your woundedness and its revelation of divine Love's response. 

Aim to be cheered and of good courage as you reflect on the pearl of great price which was paid for your redemption.

Sin still sits within like a recalcitrant lodger but it doesn't take full residence in your heart.

The more you look to Me and wonder at My love, marvel at My mercy, are filled with gratitude for My grace, the more you will see how sin no longer enslaves or has full dominion over you.

I live and move and have My being in you, and you are seated in heavenly places with Me. 

These dark earthly passions are slowly being transformed into power for good and furtherance of My Kingdom.

Yield and surrender to Me and I will gradually change your lowly desires into heavenly ones.

Never forget you are My beloved and the joy of My heart Just As You Are. Nothing and no-one can take that away from you. 

Let your soul rejoice in its resurrection to new life. Little by little, day by day, I am pouring grace into the cracks and crevices and revealing My glory through your weakness. 

Take heart, My child, you are made strong, whole and beautiful in Me"

Friend, you and I are on a lifelong journey toward becoming whole and healed. There are times when it feels like no progress is being made, but every day we are moving forward and learning to live and love as God wants us to.

It starts with learning to accept and love ourselves (in a balanced, God-inspired way) and continues as we reach out to others with empathy and compassion.

Our hurt and pain can become the pathway to another soul feeling less alone with their own situation as we share who we are on the way to all we are becoming.

May you have renewed hope as you follow hard after God's heart and rest in all He is doing within your soul. 

Blessings, love and prayers, 
Joy

A familiar fear

It creeps up on me again.

'You've really done it This Time'. 

Whispers close.

Breathing and hissing out its venom.

A voice I know too well and cannot ignore.

Did I think I could break the habits of a lifetime?

When life is littered with a trail of:
 
Unfinished projects 

Dreams unfulfilled
 
Tasks to be done
 
A heavy weight of expectancy burying all hopes of finally achieving my goals

This year I had a dream. I went public with it. Shared it openly. Making the humiliation complete. When failure seems to be a default position for a person with perfectionism allied with chronic physical illness and weakness.

Failure

Looming 

over it all

A word 

that marks us out

Gives away 

our inner state

Overshadows hope

Brings grief 

and gloom

Pain 

and sadness

Bleeds despair

Awful in 

its familiarity

Pinned on a board

Marked on a card

Stamped on a form

Spoken over us

Engraved on 

our hearts

Fresh wound to add 

to all the rest

Yet another

Failure

©JoyLenton2013

Did I really expect it to be any different This Time?

Don't these patterns repeat themselves ad infinitum?

No. No. And Thrice No. It needn't be that way. We can step off that treadmill!

" I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work" ~ Thomas Eddison

Too often, our ideas of failure stem from a heightened expectation of the perceived outcome, rather than genuine slip-ups or mistakes. We can be our own worst enemies in many respects.

In writing about my fear of failure in following my God-sized dream, I am looking to follow Holley's encouragement to also seek the truth that's bigger than that fear.

I am discovering there is freedom in learning to let go of:

The pretence of having-it-all-together

Perfectionist tendencies

People approval issues

Memories of past failures

Unrealistic expectations

Low self-esteem

Instead, I am learning to embrace:

The truth of who I am in Christ

Knowing that God's perfect love casts out fear

Being a 'work in progress'

Making mistakes as a way of growth

Falling down only to get up again

Resilience rather than defeatism

Failure needn't mean stopping something. It doesn't have to signal an end. Rather, it is an open door of opportunity for growth, for learning, and developing the fruit of patience, wisdom, endurance and  perseverance

The truth is that God's word and His grace are far bigger than any fear

As we allow His word to invade our hearts and minds, absorb its message and let it penetrate our understanding, it gradually fills the space where fear and dread once lived.

Freedom comes from surrendering fear and substituting it with faith

Despite the way it may feel, failure can be a stepping-stone to success as we yield to the lessons it teaches us. All it takes is a recognition of our need and courage to want to overcome the paralysing affects fear has on our everyday lives.

This may be one of those times for you too. Whatever your particular fear might be, will you join me as we 'feel the fear and do it anyway'? 

We are not alone. God has gone ahead of us to prepare the way we will walk in and we have the reassurance of His word:

"For God did not give us a spirit of timidity (of cowardice, of craven and cringing and fawning fear), but He has given us a spirit of power and of love and of calm and well-balanced mind and discipline and self-control" ~ 2 Timothy 1:7 (Amplified)

Let's aim to:
 
Heed His voice more than our feelings.

Rest our restless hearts in His Presence.
                                              
Immerse ourselves in His word.

Trust that God is changing us little by little.

Take tentative steps of faith that will grow with practise.

Believe we can be Overcomers in this area too.

Seek support and encouragement from others.

Pause to ponder:

What fears are holding you back from realising your dreams?
How do you plan to conquer them?

In this post I am linking up with Holley Gerth and the rest of the God-sized Dream team. We'd love you to join us on the journey. More to come next week!

You can also connect with me on Facebook or Twitter

Another world

Hi there,
I don't know about you, but I can easily lose myself in a book. When I'm reading I enter another world created for me by the author. And I tend to lose track of my surroundings in the process - sorry, did you speak? My main regret is that there are so many books I want to read but, sadly, lack enough concentration, energy or time to do so.

Reading books can be a way of escaping reality and enhancing it too

A recent birthday gift was a beautiful book -  'Norfolk Loving it!' by John Duckett - which is the third in a series of fine art photographic records that capture the essential atmospheric, surprisingly colourful beauty of that landscape. It has a selection of panoramic images of Norfolk that perfectly depicts its wide open vistas, superb coastline, seascapes and breathtaking glory through the changing seasons.

"Worthy books are not companions..they are solitudes: We lose ourselves in them and all our cares'  ~ Philip James Barclay

In my earlier adult years, before M.E. and other limiting illnesses took such a hold on my life, I used to enjoy walking on those same beaches, having a paddle and brief swim in the waters, marvelling at the wildlife and wild flowers en-route, eating fish and chips out of the paper - with their flavour enhanced by the salty air - playing games with the children, sunbathing and generally relaxing, letting go of life's care.

Nowadays, the walk to reach the beach from the car park alone is beyond me and activity is very limited. I miss not being able to do what I used to do freely before - and largely took for granted

But I can experience it all afresh through the eyes of imagination and memory

"Some books leave us free and some books make us free" ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

Being free means different things to different people.

One person's freedom can be another person's prison
In a sense we are all in need of being freed and released, as Jesus came 'To proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners' ~ Isaiah 61:1

We may feel free yet still be chained by our circumstances, prisoners of toxic relationships or bad decisions, and thus remain captive to issues such as bitterness, resentment and unforgiveness.

I am finding freedom in the midst of limiting circumstances as I learn to surrender myself and my wants and desires to the greater purpose of knowing God and His ways and plans for my life.

I am finding freedom primarily in reading God's word and applying its truths to my life, enjoying books in general, expressing myself with poetry and prose, as well as finding release in a host of other things which give my life meaning and purpose.

How about you? What helps or hinders your ability to experience freedom?

The poem that follows was inspired by the book mentioned above (especially its cover photo) and also the bag it came in that proclaimed 'Big Blue Sky' - most likely the name of the shop it was purchased from, I guess, or an attempt to pique my interest anyway!

'Freedom'

I'm blue-sky

thinking,

dreaming,drifting;

white-clouded

pillow-sinking.

A vast horizon

hones into view -

inviting, enticing,

warmly beckoning

to me and to you.

Feel the sand yield

beneath your feet;

salt-tangled breeze,

melting mists that

waft and greet.

Wet pavements glistening

in the sun,

as we shuffle,

amble, or break

into a run.

Noisy clamour of

a city-busy throng.

Elbowing, thrusting

through crowds,

to where we belong.

Stinging,crystalline snowflakes

bite our faces;

reshaping the familiar

into landscapes

of inaccessible places.

Even when confined

to bed or chair,

my unfettered mind

is free

to roam anywhere.

All it takes

is a pause, glimpse, a look,

with time to reflect - 

on the words and images

contained in a book.

©JoyLenton2012