An open door

May sounds like a portent, a promise, potential and permission given.

There's a beckoning, an urging and an invitation. New life is burgeoning.

The question is:Are we listening, and how will we respond?

As we enter this new month I'm reflecting on some timely words God gave me last night:

"Resist revisiting the past or feeling fearful about the future. All you have is Now. This moment matters.

There is grace for today; you cannot borrow from tomorrow. Rest secure in sensing My Presence at work right where you are"

These shape my response to the word 'door' for today's foray into five-minute-friday writing.

START:

Change alarms me, even as I crave alteration in my circumstances.

Somehow, a deep sense of loss hovers close and a sentimental clinging tight leaves me with closed hands and mind.

Just last week, I finally relinquished a seedy settee to make way for a supportive, comfy chair (with built-in massage facility, no less), and it was a big deal for me.

It was bought on-line, unseen, untested, untried, and still hasn't arrived... gulp!

The new chair will (hopefully!) bring some needful pain relief and yet.. I was so used to the old and I felt sad to lose it. 

Memories were written into every sinking crease and sag.

I'm reluctant to let go, although I have to. Life moves in circles and cycles. 

Without the letting go we are not free to embrace the new, next and better thing God has planned.

A door of opportunity stands open, always ajar, an invitation of grace.

And yet.. sometimes we cower with fear at the challenge it presents.

Maybe God is asking us to make room, make way for Him today ~ in life, in thought and heart.

Because He continually knocks at the door of our heart with wildly unceasing patience.

Waiting to be allowed in. Seeking to invade each space.

He alone knows what lies ahead and how He desires to bless us with His best.

He alone sees the end from the beginning, gives new birth, new life, new hope.

Will you join me, friends?

Will you say yes to Him today?

Open that door a crack and see His love flood in.

Be washed by waves of grace and mercy.

Because living with open mind, hands and heart is the best way for us, no matter how painful it can often be to open the door to the new.

STOP.

A lot of bottle

On the Bottle

Breast may be best

though bottle is better

for bonding-sharing

with any willing 

hands to hold 

these rabbit-skinned

imitations of infants

mewling beyond caring

Lukewarm liquid

vitamin-infused

warmth and welfare

oozing into tiny

lips and tums

that ache

'til hunger satiates

as feeding comes

Glass left in sun

heats a daily dose

devoured by little ones

of nursery nourishment

nanny state provides

or lumped with ice 

at times to chill

our young insides

Clinking, lifted high

amber or clear froth

to wash away 

cares holding sway

Cheers, chin, chin,

down the hatch

drown our sorrows

for another day

Parents on the bottle

so we sit as children do

crisp munching

fizzy drink slurping

sweet crunching

drain the dregs

save the empties

for a coin or two

©JoyLenton2013


********

Our lives can be subject to bottle-necks as narrowing, constricting circumstances cause a busy traffic of thoughts, words and deeds to congest uncomfortably and make us feel confined and trapped.

They won't go down easily. We choke over them. I did just that for years over my past.

Our choice is to have a lot of bottle - in other words, to display courage in the face of adversity, have firm intention, confidence and resolve to meet the challenges of difficult or frightening past and present situations.

It takes real nerve and determination to walk through hard times.

My courage is all God-given. Left to my own devices I'm a coward hiding in the corner until the storms pass. As I lean harder into Him then His strength infuses into me. The harder I lean, the more He gives grace to cope.

OR we can bottle out - lose our nerve and withdraw, put off the ordeal of confronting those issues and put off facing the problems for another day. Swallow them down somehow. That was how I dealt with problems for many years. 

Only they refuse to go away, get stuck in our throat, and end up constricting our very breath.

I have learnt, from seeing the results of doing so, not to bottle up my pain and problems, but to face them head-on, gulping heavily as I do so. Tears swell and fall as I pour them out.

My past was painful.

Shadows linger on.

The cup I drink from has a bitter taste at times. Who wants to swallow this?

I am learning to choose not to hold back or refrain from sharing (as God directs me to) about the areas that have wounded me; not if it means another soul can say "You too?" and feel they are not alone. 

Not if a cup of sorrow shared means a cup of joy to share too in the overcoming.

Our faith can be stretched taut as elastic and we feel it may snap and collapse.  

Insecurity and fear can make us fall apart or shut down when problems come. Denial may help us to go on for a while. Pain and problems kept suppressed can be like a bottle of pop waiting to explode one day and leak messily all over our lives.

Now, I can reminisce - as in the poem above - about my childhood, and do so with a degree of detachment and nostalgia for my early years.

For God is helping me to find courage in confession, relief from releasing, freedom in letting go of fears, resolve in refusing to give up on His best for me as I hand it all over to Him..For it is only in letting go of the bad that we have arms empty to receive the good.

And that's His goal for you too. As we heal we can start to focus on the life ahead of us.

"Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland" ~ Isaiah 43:18 -19

Take courage, friends, for God is as close as your next breath and He wants very much to help and heal you. Sometimes counselling helps too, or sharing with a wise and trusted friend or family member.

Whatever it takes, won't you join me on the journey towards greater freedom and joy?

Linking here with Tanya as she currently hosts the Concrete Words series.

A familiar fear

It creeps up on me again.

'You've really done it This Time'. 

Whispers close.

Breathing and hissing out its venom.

A voice I know too well and cannot ignore.

Did I think I could break the habits of a lifetime?

When life is littered with a trail of:
 
Unfinished projects 

Dreams unfulfilled
 
Tasks to be done
 
A heavy weight of expectancy burying all hopes of finally achieving my goals

This year I had a dream. I went public with it. Shared it openly. Making the humiliation complete. When failure seems to be a default position for a person with perfectionism allied with chronic physical illness and weakness.

Failure

Looming 

over it all

A word 

that marks us out

Gives away 

our inner state

Overshadows hope

Brings grief 

and gloom

Pain 

and sadness

Bleeds despair

Awful in 

its familiarity

Pinned on a board

Marked on a card

Stamped on a form

Spoken over us

Engraved on 

our hearts

Fresh wound to add 

to all the rest

Yet another

Failure

©JoyLenton2013

Did I really expect it to be any different This Time?

Don't these patterns repeat themselves ad infinitum?

No. No. And Thrice No. It needn't be that way. We can step off that treadmill!

" I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work" ~ Thomas Eddison

Too often, our ideas of failure stem from a heightened expectation of the perceived outcome, rather than genuine slip-ups or mistakes. We can be our own worst enemies in many respects.

In writing about my fear of failure in following my God-sized dream, I am looking to follow Holley's encouragement to also seek the truth that's bigger than that fear.

I am discovering there is freedom in learning to let go of:

The pretence of having-it-all-together

Perfectionist tendencies

People approval issues

Memories of past failures

Unrealistic expectations

Low self-esteem

Instead, I am learning to embrace:

The truth of who I am in Christ

Knowing that God's perfect love casts out fear

Being a 'work in progress'

Making mistakes as a way of growth

Falling down only to get up again

Resilience rather than defeatism

Failure needn't mean stopping something. It doesn't have to signal an end. Rather, it is an open door of opportunity for growth, for learning, and developing the fruit of patience, wisdom, endurance and  perseverance

The truth is that God's word and His grace are far bigger than any fear

As we allow His word to invade our hearts and minds, absorb its message and let it penetrate our understanding, it gradually fills the space where fear and dread once lived.

Freedom comes from surrendering fear and substituting it with faith

Despite the way it may feel, failure can be a stepping-stone to success as we yield to the lessons it teaches us. All it takes is a recognition of our need and courage to want to overcome the paralysing affects fear has on our everyday lives.

This may be one of those times for you too. Whatever your particular fear might be, will you join me as we 'feel the fear and do it anyway'? 

We are not alone. God has gone ahead of us to prepare the way we will walk in and we have the reassurance of His word:

"For God did not give us a spirit of timidity (of cowardice, of craven and cringing and fawning fear), but He has given us a spirit of power and of love and of calm and well-balanced mind and discipline and self-control" ~ 2 Timothy 1:7 (Amplified)

Let's aim to:
 
Heed His voice more than our feelings.

Rest our restless hearts in His Presence.
                                              
Immerse ourselves in His word.

Trust that God is changing us little by little.

Take tentative steps of faith that will grow with practise.

Believe we can be Overcomers in this area too.

Seek support and encouragement from others.

Pause to ponder:

What fears are holding you back from realising your dreams?
How do you plan to conquer them?

In this post I am linking up with Holley Gerth and the rest of the God-sized Dream team. We'd love you to join us on the journey. More to come next week!

You can also connect with me on Facebook or Twitter

Moving on

Dear Friends,

As we slip from this Christmas season and approach a new year ahead, I want to pause a while and reflect on what those changes may involve. A new year gives us all a golden opportunity to turn over a new leaf, to seek to change and live in a better way than we did before. Let's begin with taking a look at the first stage in the process - moving on from the old - before we are ready to embrace the new.

Moving On

Vestiges linger on in our senses:

A prickle of pine,

sparkling lights ablaze,

glowing candles warming

hearts and hearths.

Mince pies, movies and mischief afoot.

Family noise: tears, shouts, cries for attention,

laughter and temper erupting -

competing with the buzz of TV 

and diverse gadgetry.

Gratitude remains:

Care folded up in a card,

Loving embraces,

Presents mingling with Presence,

Gifts glorified by Grace.

A savour and flavour of life, love and laughter

brought to an end by jangling of nerves,

kerrching of shop tills ringing

instead of choirs singing.

Caught up in consumerism

Wearied by work's

daily grind resuming. 

The lure of the High Street is calling.

Sales scrambling becomes the new pursuit,

leaving us stuffed to the gills

with more Stuff to house

No room at the inn

for it -  or for Him.

Let's get away from the mayhem.

New Year beckons.

New reasons to celebrate.

New horizons to explore.
New habits.
New ways.

New you?

Time for a make-over?

Time to change our ways?

Perhaps God is speaking to you through these words:

"Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland" ~ Isaiah 43:18 - 19

The verses above speak of God making a way where there seems to be no way. He is the One who states:

"I am the Alpha and the Omega, the First and the Last, the Beginning and the End" ~ Revelation 22:13

Nothing is impossible for Him. Nothing in our lives is a surprise to Him. God sees the beginning and the end.

 Nostalgia, memory, and fear of change can hold us back from moving on. In learning to trust God's ways we will eventually come to have peace and feel able to make the necessary changes to become a new, improved version of ourselves.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future" ~ Jeremiah 29:11

Moving on requires us to let go - of old behavioural and thought patterns, of those things God may be asking us to relinquish (good as they are in themselves) because He has so much more planned for us than we can begin to imagine. Once His anointing is gone from an area of service then it is no longer fruitful or beneficial to us or to others if we persist in clinging on to it.

Jesus came to set us free from old ways of thinking and doing. He saves us from costly mistakes that will harm us, He saves us from following wrong paths, 

He saves us from being lost in our bad habits and ways of reacting. He saves us from living selfishly.

"If our greatest need had been information,

God would have sent us an educator.

If  our greatest need had been technology,

God would have sent us a scientist.

If our greatest need had been money,

God would have sent us an economist.

If our greatest need had been pleasure,

God would have sent us an entertainer.

But our greatest need was forgiveness,

So God sent us a Savior."

~ Roy Lessin from 'Meet Me in the Meadow' devotional

Now that The Saviour is here, we can turn to Him, seek His forgiveness, learn to gradually let go of the things He points out are wrong for us, move further into understanding His ways and live to please Him above ourselves.

"But because of His great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions - it is by grace you have been saved" ~ Ephesians 2:4 -5 

Pause to ponder:

As you approach this new year,what might it look like if God is included in your thinking and planning?

Could God be asking you to 'let go' of something in order to fully 'move on' with your life?

In this post I am linking with Missional Women Faith-filled Fridays