When creativity lies dormant

Words sing in my spirit, seeking their exit. Ready to explode upon the page. 

I hug some close, for now is not their time. They must lie dormant and wait a while.

A poetry anthology (or 2) sit on the back-burner, simmering slow.

A set of prayer whispers and devotional prayers lie stagnant.  

A memoir meanders round my head, only partly started. Will I be here to complete it?

I sit impatient, twiddling my thumbs at my ineptitude and inability to complete those things I long to bring forth. 

God whispers:Everything has its moment to arise and be seen. Not yet.. soon...be patient a while longer.

All that is within me cries out "Really?", until I remember how seeds lie dormant before they burst into glorious life, how ground seems dead and fallow until it is ploughed.

Watching while others gain their harvest can be painful. 

Waiting for God to say "Yes" to us can seem endless, can't it?

I feel my years slipping as sand and wonder why it takes so long to see fruit appearing.

Once again, I sense a holy reminder of how much fruit is invisible to us, but He knows.

He knows how to shape the things we create until they are ready to be a blessing.

He knows who needs to read our words, receive our art, and when they should be shared.

He knows how things that seem ready to us still require His refining touch.

And He's more interested in growing Holy Spirit fruit in our lives than making sure we see tangible evidence of the works of our hands.

They will have their day. Even if all looks barren and bleak, cold as ice and deep as snow.

New life, new birth returns to earth after winter's chill, after long periods of seeming inactivity.

So will our work, our words, our creativity rise anew when God breathes His life into them and whispers, "Now".

'Arising'

A tiny germ of life beats slow

beneath frozen depths of snow

Unseen by mere mortal eyes

it sits patient, waiting to rise

Heeding the call, clear and deep,

shaking off sonorous sleep

it pushes its way through icy ground

blanketed by silence all around

Drawn out of shadows dark

into earth hostile and stark

Arising in white fragile purity

A reminder of new birth breaking free

©JoyLenton2015

The same is true of our hopes and dreams, goals and schemes.

If they are God-given ones, then they will rise strong at Just The Right Time ~ His timing.

I know I've felt stagnant and stalled, stuck in the mud lately, mainly due to the daily health challenges I face and the weariness they bring.

Your reasons may differ. What we will have in common is a great desire to unleash our creativity and have it positively impact the lives of others.

And as I ponder these things, I actually sense God asking me to pull back from sharing my words here (and on 'Poetry Joy'), just for a while.

To let them deliberately lay dormant. To desist for a bit from sharing them on a blog. 

Because He knows things, you see.. He knows how much I need to lean into Him this Lenten season, to rest and recover energy and strength, to become restored, refreshed, revitalised by His Spirit. 

Am I giving in gracefully? Surrendering with serenity?

Hmm.. a little, although those insidious people-approval issues and "What ifs?" make this a hard choice for me, albeit a necessary one.

My priorities are to draw closer to God, regain some needful health and strength and be more available to my family.

While I am away (having some extra catnaps Zzz...), please feel free to dig into the archives, especially if you are new around here. I hope and pray you will come away blessed and encouraged by what you read.

I will continue scribbling out my words, and some may even find their way onto my Facebook page in the interim should God inspire and equip me to share them.

Maybe you're in a season of hibernation, sitting out a time when sap will rise again?

Take heart, friend. God isn't finished with you yet. While we have life and breath we are on active service in His kingdom. Age and circumstance are no barrier in His eyes.

One day, it will be your time and your turn and your work will have the audience it deserves. Hang on in hope. Our God is faithful.

God bless you all until we meet again. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Feel free to leave a comment or prayer request here. Love, Joy :) <3

The grass isn't always greener

As Autumn segues into Winter all becomes bare, barren and bleak.

Grass scrubby and yellow-patched, lifeless, worn and torn.

Loosened leaves now drift disconsolately on the ground.

Signs of death outweigh signs of life and vitality.

There is little inclination to look enviously upon our neighbour's gardens as we may have done a few months ago. 

The grass is not necessarily greener on the other side.

Yet how often we look askance at our own patchy lives and look with longing, if not concealed envy, upon the lives of others.

If only... haunts our nights and days.

Restlessness ensues and deep dissatisfaction invades. Surely life was meant to consist of more than This?

My life has mirrored those leaves of late ~ feeling like a dry, barren, lifeless husk with some faint semblance of colour, life and vitality within, yet fragile as a crunched and withered leaf.

Though I take heart at those times when creativity sparks more as wobbly wick than steady flame, that a bruised reed he will not break and a smouldering wick he will not snuff out.

It is all too easy to feel dried out inside when we are ill, weak and weary. Pain leaches life and vitality.

Then our art, gifting and writing can seem as arid as leaves on cold ground. Dead. Lifeless. Surplus to requirements.

As Christian writers who believe we have a calling, anointing and equipping to produce a fitting piece of work for the glory of God, how do we (or should we even attempt) to judge what we do?

Is there any value in checking out other voices in one's area of interest, ability and expertise? Perhaps excellence observed may stir a call to excellence within us?

It can often work that way; only sometimes envy, jealousy or discouragement rises instead.

A step back is required. Re-evaluation.

After all, this isn't about you, or Them, or me either.

It's not about talent, success, lucky breaks or the lack thereof.

No. This is about God. Period. His will, His ways, His purposes, His plans are all individual and unique like we are too.

God's anointing and gifting are custom-made to fit our personalities, interests and abilities.

There is no shortage. As writers/bloggers/poets we have a large lake of literature into which we may only dip timid toes as we observe the brave and bold ones cresting the waves or swimming confidently before us.

Yet who's to say what impression our own efforts will leave upon the sands of time?

"We ourselves feel that what we're doing is just a drop in the ocean. But the ocean would be less because of that missing drop" ~ Mother Teresa

You and I may feel we're just paddling listlessly in shallow waters, but we still make a ripple if not a huge splash.

Believe me, my friend, your output is not lost in God's eyes. He sees and applauds the effort in all areas, the faithfulness, prayers, sacrifice of time and energy.

You are not invisible to Him in your seemingly small corner and any work surrendered to Him is multiplied at His hands, for one person plus God is a majority.

And God will use every crumb you produce. He'll ensure you get noticed, your words and thoughts will reach their intended audience ~ be it a handful or thousands.

And He'll bless it all abundantly from here into eternity.

Your part ~ and mine ~ is to brave the chilly waters and dive in, knowing His arms are ready to catch, support and hold us safe.

That other artist/writer/blogger/poet/colleague you admire and aspire to be won't look, work, sound or express themselves like you. They won't have the same history, background or experiences of life or faith.

You may as well compare chalk and cheese, apples and pears, soft and hard.

It's the differences we enjoy. It's the differences that make them fit for their purpose.

So you can 'go compare' other things if you wish, (including markets and meercats) but please don't do that with your writing, gifting, talents. That way lies sadness and madness.

Comparison is the thief of joy and who wants to lose any joy? I know I don't.  

It is really hard for me to let my own words sink in and truly believe and receive them. My background made negativity and insecurity a way of life for many years.

Now, I am determined to seize whatever blessing God has got for me. And that means not allowing myself to become derailed by discouragement or cut short by comparisons.

I want to breathe easy, inhale and exhale grace, live free from insecurity, anger, jealousy, bitterness and resentment. 

But I cannot do any of that without seeing the danger zones and making sure I live as close as possible to God's will for my life, seeking a daily supply of His grace, refreshment and strength to keep me 'lively' for His purposes.

Will you join me? Only you can do the best job of being you by God's grace.

We can encourage one another on this journey.

You are already special, loved, chosen by God to do great works He prepared for you to do.

You count ~ far more than you'll ever know.

You matter ~ to God and to others.

You are beyond compare.

**Confession** ~ This has taken me a few weeks to write due to several health challenges. And as I was preparing the draft for it I read several beautiful blog posts on a very similar theme. Oh dear! Immediately, negative thoughts invaded peace of mind. What could I write after reading THIS?

God answered with these words which I hope and pray will bless you too:

 "it doesn't matter what someone else has written, however good it is. The important thing to remember is this ~ your way of expressing yourself, writing style and reachable audience is unique to you. And there is more than enough room for multiple voices. Each one will say or do things differently but in the way i intend them to. Your task is to remain faithful to that calling".

Linking here with Jennifer and Emily

Journey of life and creativity

As we travel through life we also make a spiritual and creative journey that alters over time with our own growth in knowledge and experience.

My life and creativity have been inextricably linked; there have been brief seasons of plenty, overshadowed by many fallow times too.

As I reflect back, I can see surprisingly rich pickings in experience as gold glints all the brighter through the murky detritus of dark places.

If you had suggested to me, only a few years ago, that good things would come out of bad, then I would have found it hard to believe you. All seemed lost and hopeless as I battled demons from my past.

But here I am now:sharing my story, hopes, dreams, lessons learnt in the dark nights of the soul, and revealing grace glimmers shining brightly throughout it all.

And I share, as always, with the objective of encouraging you to believe that you too can walk through painful times and come out the other side  - not necessarily unscathed, but able to trace God's hand at work keeping you safe, loving and protecting you,  and never leaving or forsaking you, no matter how it may feel.

Today, I am sharing some of my life and creative journey by participating in the writing contest 'You Are A Writer'  held by 'Positive Writer', Bryan Hutchinson - you can click on the link to find out more.

"Fill your paper with the breathings of your heart" ~ William Wordsworth

Becoming a Writer

As an eager child offering art or verse, my parents were indifferent, cold or worse

so I hid my work from prying eyes, indoctrinated as I was to secrets and lies.

And hidden they largely remained, with nothing ventured and nothing gained.

Though I scribbled in diaries, on paper and card, I had to try really hard

to believe anything good of myself at all when writing was seen 

as time-wasting scrawl in the minds of parents, siblings et al.

Senior school English gave me a thrill as the only subject I felt capable

of nailing down or succeeding at will. So I wrote stories

shared on the grass during lunchtime soirees as time passed 

with giggles, unwrapping of sandwiches and teenage yearnings of love

 voices hushed and stilled, and content lapped up by friends

 eagerly listening to each instalment from me.

Taking courage from true love's embrace

no longer feeling so shy or shame-faced

my poetry was shared and aired in a minor public place -

a church magazine, a lover's gaze - while I blushed grateful

to be on the page. Accepted at last as a writer of sorts

with words flowing freely amongst my cohorts.

More years of hiding the light and turning away 

as my dysfunctional past began to hold sway

in my life and my head, leaving no space

for creativity to flourish, be expressed, or embraced.

Too much pain needing addressing lie close at hand 

and no more years hiding my head in the sand.

Now older and wiser - at least I hope so -

I've experienced healing of emotions from letting go

and releasing everything I can be into God's hands

as the best for me - just as He planned.

And thanks to Jeff Goins, for his inspiring book 'You are a writer..' 

stirred deep, made me pause, reflect, take a second look.

Reviewing juvenile scribblings and poems penned

unleashed desire to start over again with writing and publishing 

my work on a blog, though much of it's written through an M.E fog.

Learning to let go of perfection, learning to love the craft

daring to believe and say (in wonder), "I am a writer"  

  even before compiling my first book draft!
©JoyLenton2013

The words, "I am a writer" do not sit easy yet or roll blithely off the tongue. Rather, I tread warily in this brave new world, aware that they could be sharp stones to catch myself on, trip me up, stumble over and cut me open - revealing the full raw vulnerability within.

I also tread secure in my small corner invisibility, daring to speak with such audacity only because the One who beckoned me on this journey also accompanies, encourages, anoints and equips every step of the way.

He leads and I follow with hesitant, tentative step, knowing in my heart that this is an act of faith as I walk Ezekiel - like, marvelling at how God breathes life into dead things. He calls those things which are not as if they were, and wants me to believe it too.

So I take His hand, strengthened by His voice of wisdom directing, leading and guiding my creative journey as He does the rest of my life.

If you are wondering whether or not you are a writer, may I encourage you to just do it? Pour your heart and soul out in words, in offering, and dare to share them

One day, we will read and be thankful that you did. And so will you. Writing is cathartic, releasing and freeing, as well as a valuable contribution to life's rich tapestry of experiences.

The world needs to hear and receive your creative voice too:in words, poetry, prose, through art, music, craft-making, home-keeping, sewing, baking - however you want to express it, the sky is the limit -  simply enjoy creating as you were created to do.

You may have been seriously discouraged, derailed and disappointed by other people's responses, your own low self-esteem or lack of confidence. 

But you don't have to stay stuck there.

I am living proof, in the Autumn of my life, that it's never too late to start again.

Your reach may be large or small, with an appreciative audience or none at all.

Once you recognise you have the spirit and soul of a writer then you need to write,  regardless of who pays attention or not

So do have a go.

Resurrect those dust-laden drawings, painting, poetry, prose, that creative urge; give them a good shake down and tell yourself, "Yes, I am a writer/poet/artist/creative person", and go create, my friend!

*******

Photo credit:.freedigitalphotos.net

What hinders or helps the expression of your creativity?

How can you begin to enjoy being creative once more?

Please feel free to join in with the comments below. I love to read and reply to them. Thank you.

This post is also part of the 'Journeying' series that started here. There will be more on that topic to follow soon.

To stay in touch with my posts you can link up via Google Friend Connect or subscribe by e-mail. I would also love to connect with you on Facebook  or Twitter

Joy-bringers

There are many joy-bringers in my life.

For instance, I love...curling up with a good book, drinking coffee with friends, reading and writing poetry, watching the sun set, sniffing sea air, laughter, company, solitude, connecting, meals with friends and family. Some of these are easily achievable now, others must wait for the right timing.

What it comes down to is that while I derive great satisfaction and pleasure from many little things, and enjoy tremendously having a creative writing outlet, it is relationships that provide me with the greatest joy and pleasure.

I delight most in family and friends, knowing and being known, loving and being loved. God's purpose is for us to be in relationship with one another and primarily with Him.

In thinking about Holley's question this week:"What brings you joy, especially when it comes to your God-sized dream?" I have been considering an aspect of joy that doesn't easily come to mind. Like this verse:

"My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing" ~ James 1:2 - 4  

Really? in trials? How is that possible? We can be so downcast by our concerns that despair takes over instead. The natural reaction is to be upset, discouraged, angry even.

God may be in control but we feel anything but. Too much pain to even think straight.

This is joy - but not as we know it. It is evidence of Holy Spirit's presence in our hearts

"Joy is not gush. Joy is not mere jolly-ness. Joy is perfect acquiescence - acceptance, rest - in God's will, whatever comes. And that is so, only for the soul that delights in God" ~ Amy Carmichael

God-shaped joy transcends circumstances - it is mysterious, wonderful and liberating.

When our circumstances are far from joyful, we can discover it afresh in recognising how we are held, kept, strengthened and comforted in our hour of need. 

His presence is what stabilises our see-saw emotions and gives grace to cope just one more day, then the next, and so on, and provides the means to endure or overcome.

"Some of God's best gifts must be unwrapped in the darkness. Think of your last major trial. What "good thing" did the Lord slip into your hands in those difficult days?" ~ Joni Eareckson Tada 'Daily Devotionals'

The joy we have is in casting our cares and burdens on the Lord, safe in the knowledge He is dealing with them and granting us grace to rest easy.

The prayer below is written to celebrate what brings me joy on my God-sized Dream journey and life in general. 

Joy Is..walking with Him

Dear Father,

It seems strange to think that our afflictions can be joy-bringers. 

Yet I know, that without mine I would lead a selfish, disconnected life and be all the poorer for losing such deep, need-driven, daily dependence on your grace and mercy.

For, in love, You have given us joy in knowing You, joy in living with Your constant presence, and joy in the persevering, enduring and overcoming of our pain and sorrow.

We are made to dream big dreams, to believe for the impossible, 

to see Your hand at work bringing life from what seems dead.

This year, a dream was laid on my heart. I have dared to hope for a life beyond the everyday and ordinary. 

A seed of hope has been sown, liberally watered by the encouragement of those who accompany me on this journey. Their interest and support have helped the fragile seed to grow.

You knew I lacked the courage to walk this path alone.

You knew I would give up without a word to cheer me on.

You knew my fears and failings would make me falter.

My weakness would make me wilt.

My pain would bring a halt to participating.

And You gave...as You always do... liberally, freely, graciously.

You gave me sisters in solidarity, 

hope in hearing their own hearts beat to a tune of Your choosing,

peace in pursuing purpose,

strength in sharing,

courage in creativity,

all helping me to be here now -

still walking in faith, still writing, 

still living and believing for great things to come. 

For You are a Rewarder of those who diligently seek You.
And that's my goal, day after day, week after week, month after month;
 for the Giver of all good gifts does not disappoint us.
You created this journey, set us on the path, walk with us every step of the way,
 and hold out hands to guide toward the finishing line where a great crowd of witnesses will greet and cheer. For all these things and Your many mercies we thank you.

Amen.

"When large numbers of people share their joy in common, the happiness of each is greater because it adds fuel to the other's flame" ~ St Augustine

My fellow God-sized dreamers have brought me joy in the sharing, caring, encouraging and supporting. With Holley setting us a weekly task I have been able to get into a rhythm of regular blogging on a specific subject and that's been a great discipline and challenge. 

Linking up here with Holley Gerth and the rest of the God-sized dream team

We would love you to join us and share your own journey with God this year.

What brings you the most joy in your life?

Are there positive steps you could take to increase your joy levels?