Love Idol ~ a review

Sometimes you grasp a book in your hands and sense it was written just for you ~ heart to heart.

You'll find yourself wanting to add numerous memory jogging highlights and underlining to what feels more like a private journal than anything else.

C.S Lewis said, "Friendship is born at that moment when one man says to another:"What! You too? I thought that no one but myself.." Right from the start the author feels like a good friend, so frequent are the 'You too?' moments within it. 

Jennifer Dukes Lee's warm, engaging prose, intimate sharing, open vulnerability and heartfelt message also invite trust and reassuring confidence.

Here is a woman who is still a 'work in progress' and willing to admit it. She eagerly desires for others to join her in seeking to identify and demolish their own love idols.

So what is a 'love idol' Primarily, whatever rules our hearts is at risk of "becoming our lord" when "instead of resting in the love and approval of an unseen God, we chase after the temporary pleasures of human validation" 

People-approval issues are so widespread that it begs the question:How on earth do we overcome them? Insightful, God-inspired suggestions (based on her own tried and tested application) are heavily strewn throughout this book.

We are encouraged to see ourselves as already pre-approved. Together, as co-pilgrims, we can learn how to surrender "our need for human approval in exchange for a godly approval that is already bought and paid for."

Whether you are in the first flush of youth or the hot flush of mid-life, male or female, this book is relevant for all. These issues can plague our lives and cause enormous stress and strain until we have awareness and insight into their devastating consequences and find the means to address them.

We don't have to live lives plagued and tormented, held captive to the fluctuating opinions of others or wearied and discouraged by our low self-esteem.

There is hope at hand.

There is grace to help.

There is freedom to be gained.

We can discover our true identity in Christ.

"Every small death of an idol is another tiny resurrection of our identity in Christ" ~ Jennifer Dukes Lee 'Love Idol'

Are you ready?

*********

I will continue sharing my journey in the overcoming of love idols over at poetryjoy.com. You can check out my progress there.

There is a growing, supportive Facebook community to help you along the way.

Jennifer's site has plenty of information about her own journey and shared stories of how others are walking this pathway.

You can order the book on Amazon by clicking here.

And I am offering a free copy of 'Love Idol' to a person selected at random from those who leave a comment below. Do join in the conversation below to be in with a chance to win a copy for yourself or for a friend. You won't regret it!

The grass isn't always greener

As Autumn segues into Winter all becomes bare, barren and bleak.

Grass scrubby and yellow-patched, lifeless, worn and torn.

Loosened leaves now drift disconsolately on the ground.

Signs of death outweigh signs of life and vitality.

There is little inclination to look enviously upon our neighbour's gardens as we may have done a few months ago. 

The grass is not necessarily greener on the other side.

Yet how often we look askance at our own patchy lives and look with longing, if not concealed envy, upon the lives of others.

If only... haunts our nights and days.

Restlessness ensues and deep dissatisfaction invades. Surely life was meant to consist of more than This?

My life has mirrored those leaves of late ~ feeling like a dry, barren, lifeless husk with some faint semblance of colour, life and vitality within, yet fragile as a crunched and withered leaf.

Though I take heart at those times when creativity sparks more as wobbly wick than steady flame, that a bruised reed he will not break and a smouldering wick he will not snuff out.

It is all too easy to feel dried out inside when we are ill, weak and weary. Pain leaches life and vitality.

Then our art, gifting and writing can seem as arid as leaves on cold ground. Dead. Lifeless. Surplus to requirements.

As Christian writers who believe we have a calling, anointing and equipping to produce a fitting piece of work for the glory of God, how do we (or should we even attempt) to judge what we do?

Is there any value in checking out other voices in one's area of interest, ability and expertise? Perhaps excellence observed may stir a call to excellence within us?

It can often work that way; only sometimes envy, jealousy or discouragement rises instead.

A step back is required. Re-evaluation.

After all, this isn't about you, or Them, or me either.

It's not about talent, success, lucky breaks or the lack thereof.

No. This is about God. Period. His will, His ways, His purposes, His plans are all individual and unique like we are too.

God's anointing and gifting are custom-made to fit our personalities, interests and abilities.

There is no shortage. As writers/bloggers/poets we have a large lake of literature into which we may only dip timid toes as we observe the brave and bold ones cresting the waves or swimming confidently before us.

Yet who's to say what impression our own efforts will leave upon the sands of time?

"We ourselves feel that what we're doing is just a drop in the ocean. But the ocean would be less because of that missing drop" ~ Mother Teresa

You and I may feel we're just paddling listlessly in shallow waters, but we still make a ripple if not a huge splash.

Believe me, my friend, your output is not lost in God's eyes. He sees and applauds the effort in all areas, the faithfulness, prayers, sacrifice of time and energy.

You are not invisible to Him in your seemingly small corner and any work surrendered to Him is multiplied at His hands, for one person plus God is a majority.

And God will use every crumb you produce. He'll ensure you get noticed, your words and thoughts will reach their intended audience ~ be it a handful or thousands.

And He'll bless it all abundantly from here into eternity.

Your part ~ and mine ~ is to brave the chilly waters and dive in, knowing His arms are ready to catch, support and hold us safe.

That other artist/writer/blogger/poet/colleague you admire and aspire to be won't look, work, sound or express themselves like you. They won't have the same history, background or experiences of life or faith.

You may as well compare chalk and cheese, apples and pears, soft and hard.

It's the differences we enjoy. It's the differences that make them fit for their purpose.

So you can 'go compare' other things if you wish, (including markets and meercats) but please don't do that with your writing, gifting, talents. That way lies sadness and madness.

Comparison is the thief of joy and who wants to lose any joy? I know I don't.  

It is really hard for me to let my own words sink in and truly believe and receive them. My background made negativity and insecurity a way of life for many years.

Now, I am determined to seize whatever blessing God has got for me. And that means not allowing myself to become derailed by discouragement or cut short by comparisons.

I want to breathe easy, inhale and exhale grace, live free from insecurity, anger, jealousy, bitterness and resentment. 

But I cannot do any of that without seeing the danger zones and making sure I live as close as possible to God's will for my life, seeking a daily supply of His grace, refreshment and strength to keep me 'lively' for His purposes.

Will you join me? Only you can do the best job of being you by God's grace.

We can encourage one another on this journey.

You are already special, loved, chosen by God to do great works He prepared for you to do.

You count ~ far more than you'll ever know.

You matter ~ to God and to others.

You are beyond compare.

**Confession** ~ This has taken me a few weeks to write due to several health challenges. And as I was preparing the draft for it I read several beautiful blog posts on a very similar theme. Oh dear! Immediately, negative thoughts invaded peace of mind. What could I write after reading THIS?

God answered with these words which I hope and pray will bless you too:

 "it doesn't matter what someone else has written, however good it is. The important thing to remember is this ~ your way of expressing yourself, writing style and reachable audience is unique to you. And there is more than enough room for multiple voices. Each one will say or do things differently but in the way i intend them to. Your task is to remain faithful to that calling".

Linking here with Jennifer and Emily

Going solo?

The waters are choppy. I'm holding on for all I'm worth. One woman pitted against the buffeting winds and rising waves.

Not sailing as you might know it.
But attempting to keep this vessel afloat in stormy seas.

The tides of life and waters of adversity are trying to steer me off course.

 Others are alongside me in the battle to stay afloat. But I am managing this part solo. 

Apart from the wind of the Holy Spirit

The whispering voice through the weariness of a long-distance voyage

The Captain of the ship

The Helmsman

The Anchor

You see, this week's God-sized Dream challenge was to find ourselves a buddy. To team up with a friend to come on board to offer prayer, support and encouragement in pursuit of our dream. 

This friend could come from our regular, everyday lives or be an on-line companion. The idea being to write a post about who you have chosen and why.

Which left me in rather a dilemma.

Strangely, this is a dream I've shared openly on a public platform with people who don't really know me, yet lacked the courage to discuss with those who do

I have very few close Christian friends who I could call upon at short notice for this task. Many are just too hard-pressed and busy for me to want to bother them, or simply not available.

I realise I haven't opened up and shared as I could have done. 

My dream stayed locked up.

Perhaps this fragile, germinating seed of a dream might wilt or wither under the potential blaze of bewilderment, chill of indifference or heat of rejection from those whose opinion means so much to me?

Issues of trust and insecurity can be paralysing and stop us from moving forward

The hermit-like, housebound existence I have as an M.E and chronic illness sufferer can mean long periods without seeing another soul apart from my husband.

It is all too easy for friends to lose touch, drift apart, be separated by distance as well as time - despite the numerous ways we have to stay connected.

After making a few tentative enquiries that came to nothing, and praying about what to do, I began to see that I do indeed have a friend accompanying me on this journey.

This Friend is always with me

He planted this dream within my heart

He will nurture the seedling of promise and cause it to become a strong plant

With This Friend by my side I have no need to fear

I am covered in prayer

I am protected from harm
                                                                                                          
Supported. Encouraged. Loved.

After all, He created me, knows me inside out and cares deeply for me.

This could be a time to trust in the fact that God Himself is partnering with me and may want me to simply rest in and rely on Him for the time being.

In fact, God is partnering with all of us who invite Him in to our everyday lives, hopes and dreams, who open the door of their heart and ask Him in. He longs to be in relationship with you too

We also need other people and relationships to enrich our lives, share with, reveal hidden depths and aspects of our characters, offer help, support and encouragement on our journey through life.

I am grateful for those who relate to me that way and still open to the possibility of a friend partnering me for this God-sized dream journey!

In this post I am linking up with Holley Gerth and the rest of the God-sized Dream team. We'd love you to join us and share this journey of exploration, growth and change.

You can also like my page on Facebook or follow me on Twitter

I hope you will keep in touch so we can support and encourage one another in the pursuit of our God-sized dream and the challenges it brings and share our life with God in other ways too.

Stay blessed and encouraged!

Becoming

Go on, you know you can't resist it. You just have to sneak a look. Who doesn't want to at least check on their appearance from time to time? If only to have a running dialogue with themselves such as:

• I look a fright
• My hair's a mess
• Are those toothpaste smears?
• Oops, that's not straight
• Where did THAT come from?
• Oh bother, lipstick on my teeth again
• Must be the light, I can't look that bad, can I?

Who knows, it might be one of those flattering mirrors that don't leave you looking zombie-like or washed out and ill. Rather it enhances your natural radiance and perception of how you appear. If Only. 

Living as we do in a world where everyone and everything is judged on appearance, it is all too easy to feel unlovely and irrelevant if we fail to match up to society's ideals. Instead of simply cleaning the mirror, we may want to erase the unwanted image we see reflected there.

But that's not the full picture. The REAL you isn't found in the mirror. That's just your face and body

In our youth and beauty oriented and celebrated society we often set such store on appearance that we miss what is Really Important. This is something I have to remind myself of on a regular basis. Having had chronic illness for over 20 years with M.E and other conditions, there is no doubt that the side-effects of insomnia, continual exhaustion, pain and taking frequent medication  - never mind the natural ageing process and menopause - are clearly visible in my external appearance. 

I seldom look into a mirror these days without lamenting about where the person I used to be has disappeared to. She can't be that woman with exhaustion etched into her face, grey pallor, permanent dark circles, pouches under her eyes and ropey hair, can she? How I look on the outside doesn't match how I feel on the inside. My spirit still feels young and vibrant.

The background I grew up in gave me cause to feel insecure because I had a dysfunctional childhood and our parents made unfair comparisons between my non-identical twin sister and myself. She was dubbed the 'pretty one' while I had to be consoled with being the 'clever one'. Both of us struggled to live up to and then overcome our labels. Parents be aware.

Shaking off inferiority, insecurity and early years conditioning was painful but necessary and only achievable for me when I came to faith in Christ and began to see myself as He sees me.

"The Lord does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart." ~ 1 Samuel 16:7

We tend to major on external things whereas God wants our focus to be primarily on internal ones - our heart, soul (mind, will and emotions) and spirit. 

He has already paved The Way for us to come to know Him through having a relationship with Jesus Christ as our Lord and Saviour. Then the radiance of Christ begins to reflect in our lives as we grow in knowledge and experience of Him and His word

Amazing as it seems, God sees us as:

Acceptable

Beloved

Complete

This is who we are In Christ. It is a gradual awakening that unfolds as we place our faith and trust in Him and continue to surrender every area of our lives to His Lordship. We start on a journey of change and discovery that leads to becoming all that God intended us to be when He created us as unique, special and greatly loved by Him.

"So we're not giving up. How could we? Even though on the outside it often looks like things are falling apart on us, on the inside, where God is making new life, not a day goes by without His unfolding grace....there's far more here than meets the eye. The things we see now are here today, gone tomorrow. But the things we can't see now will last forever"

~ 2 Corinthians 4:16 -18 The Message

Back to the mirror.

These days my eyes slide towards it and I grimace, sigh resignedly and hope to find a better image next time I look. When I feel up to the task then a bit of make-up and a smile go a long way towards helping me feel better. But that's only a minor outer adjustment.

A mirror may show our current state outwardly but doesn't reveal our growing, developing and future state inwardly. Beauty is far more than skin deep. We are all subject to change, illness, ageing and eventual decay.

What we are becoming, day by day by God's grace, gives us encouragement to believe for greater change to be manifested in our lives in the future.

The process of becoming Christ-like can feel painful. For now, we are Works in Progress. It is a gradual process of transformation as our minds are renewed and lives surrendered to God.

We are exposed to God's mirror through His word and can see our faults and failings in greater detail. He will work relentlessly to achieve His purpose of making us into the image of Jesus, little by little. However, the hands that carve and shape us are tender hands of love and grace.

"And we, who with unveiled faces reflect the Lord's glory, are being transformed into His likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit" ~ 2 Corinthians 3:18

'Becoming'

You've broken through,

infiltrated the carapace.

I feel You invading

the space

I'd called my own.

Working away purposefully

from the inside out -

yet I evade Your touch

throw off spasms

of irritation

as You make

the place 

Your home.

Chafed by events

beyond control

resistance persists in me

though a softer yielding ensues.

My naked exposure

tenderly covered by

Your mantle of Love.

I am remade, renewed,

pearlised, polished,

strong and true.

Breathing out my fears

I settle 

into the frame 

for which I was made -

a worthy container

for You.

©JoyLenton2012

Over to you:

How do you feel about the process of transformation that God is doing in your life?

What can we do that impedes or advances it?

You're very welcome to join in the discussion.

I wanted to..but

Hi,
How is your day going? I hope it is going well. This has been a week of challenge for me. I have been brought (rather uncomfortably) face to face with several of my weaknesses. 

Not only do I have an ongoing daily battle with my body when it fails to do all I would like it to, but I can also have some emotional wars going on at the same time - frequently caused by the frustration of living with constant pain and weakness and the stress it induces. I will spare you the gory details.

I like to escape for a bit by connecting through social media. Its addictive charm can weave a comforting spell over me for a while and lull me into a false sense of security. Oh look - a reply, a message, a new follower!

Until I see how energy-sapping and dangerous it can potentially be.

Our sense of worth should not depend on who reads our messages, replies, follows, affirms or ignores us that day. Otherwise we are always going to be prone to the shifting tides of opinion and casual interaction and likely to be steered off balance by seemingly being ignored and rejected at times.

So much in life - even the good things - can distract and detract from the best God has planned.

After reading the challenging post by Tanya Marlow  today (yes, on social media again) my own thoughts were thrown into disarray as I thought about God's Father heart of love and realised how the desire to be loved and accepted never goes away, no matter how much we actually receive those things from others.

Human love is a wonderful thing to experience but it's also likely to be subject to change, inconsistent, unsatisfactory, unfaithful, weak and insubstantial - no matter how hard we may work at it. Our own backgrounds, family experiences, insecurities and inadequacies can hold us back from fully giving and receiving love.

We still have to trust others to be faithful and true and trust ourselves to love similarly

The poem that follows (written some time ago but still applicable here) highlights the way some of us may perceive ourselves, particularly when wanting to be seen in our best light by the person whose opinion we value most. 

It  highlights the need to reach out, knowing our imperfections, and feeling we can never measure up to the expectations of others - or indeed our own.

So it is good to know that as we step out in faith to relate to God we can be reassured that He knows all our faults and failings, loves us anyway (but too much to leave us unchanged) and has provided all the security we'll ever need in life through knowing Him

'I wanted to..but'

I wanted to present to you

a lover -

undefiled and whole

with flesh like grass

inviting inspection,

pure and eager

for your reaching arms.

I wanted to present to you

a mind

unclotted by the mud-pied 

clogginess of doubt

distrust

free from fettered cares - 

a pliant, strong,

unwaveringly clever partner

to your own.

I wanted to present to you

a heart,

a soul's yearning sigh

so full and undivided

caught up in 

the meshes of your love

and pulsating 

in full response -

reflecting 

only harmony.

I wanted to present to you

Perfection,

but sadly lacked 

in any.

And so I gave

with weary recognition -

myself.

©JoyLenton2012