Heart of Worship

A heart matter - Worship

"True worship can only take place when we agree to God sitting not only on His throne in the centre of the universe, but on the throne that stands in the centre of our heart" ~ Robert Colman

An invitation had been issued. So we came. Standing on the threshold of the future.

Hands slippery, nerves tinged with excitement as I held fast to my leonine boyfriend, he of the long tawny mane and liquid-brown roving eyes, urging him toward the back row for Outsiders such as we.

We parked ourselves, politely quiet and oddly formal. Little did I know how familiar such venues were to him, though he hid it well.

Slowly, the room began to fill. No longer the only youthful faces, confirmed by his engaging smile and approving glance as he skirted and flirted safe with me beside.

Then I saw Them. My heart somersaulted, lips dried as I felt again that buzz of connectivity like a jolt of electricity.

Ishmael and Andy. Gospel duo. My reason for coming.

No longer in Sixth Form Common Room, filling it with their vibrant lyrics, faces shining.

Now filling this place with more sound and a mysterious glow - an indefinable Something Else in the air.

As they strummed and thrummed once more, I relaxed into the flow, mellowed out. Caught Lion Mane head-banging in his own inimitable, uninhibited style, caring not who saw him.

I tapped, swayed and clapped, caught up, unknowingly, in the beat and rhythm of life itself. Senses fully engaged and alert as sound, singing and sweetness washed over me.

Image Courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.Net

Things slowed. Voices speaking. One voice taking up the mike.

Ears pricked. Room hushed. A message given.

Spoken just to me.

All was still. Save for a heart hammering fit to burst.

I drank in every word, desert-thirsty for Water that would satiate to the full, absorbing every drop

Words ringing bell-like in head and heart - He. Loves. Me. God loves me??

Never before had I known love Pure ... Holy Offering ... Unconditional. 

I sought answers, meaning, purpose and love everywhere:inappropriate love-givers, horoscopes, Ouija boards, levitation, writing smut, being lust for others.

Casting the net wide, diving deep into murky, treacherous waters, seeking hidden treasure, pearl of great price, and coming up empty, left with silted mouth and heart. 

As child I lay grass-stained looking to heaven, seeing angels in my eyes, always knowing there must be Something Else out there. A better way to live. Someone Who Really Cared.

This child-prodigal was running into arms of Father. Reunited with the One who knew her before she was brought into being. 

Spark of Life awakening a deadened spirit to His Love.

The thrill of knowing and being known ran through me with emotions and heart on fire.

Breath-stop moment of recognition. My soul rejoicing. Heart hungry. Desperate to believe.

"It's not the art, it's the heart. What God reads during our worship is the inner attitude. Worship is spiritual; it's organic; it's relational" ~ La Mar Buchanan

The band blended into mist...instantly forgotten.

The boyfriend...equally lost to awareness.

The people...faded out of sight.

I fell into Love's arms and He held tight

Tears fell. No lady-like flow. This was snot-nosed-kid gushing, heart-poured-out waterfall.

Thrill of being enraptured and captured.

Here was surrender.

Here was adoration.

Here was worship.

I laid it all down before God

Image Courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.Net

All my years (17)

All my sadness, shame and pain (yes, much even then)

And all my being tugged irresistibly in His direction as I shakily joined the snaking line threading its way down the aisle.

Sobbing. Laughter. Cries. Strange foreign-tongued rising cadence, knitting of words beyond understanding, as others gave interpretation.

All mingled in this strange world called Church I would soon be a part of. Waiting to receive me as an adopted child by grace. 

*******

Now, a few decades on - a lifetime of living, leaving, losing, pulling away, being broken, being lost, being renewed, being restored and made whole again - I can never fully recapture the awesome, beautiful moment of coming to faith in Christ.

Nothing else comes close to the sheer wonder of giving 'Worth-Ship' to my God for the very first time

Many idols compete for attention and many sorrows drown out His voice for a while.

"Every moment I live, I live bowed to something. And if I don't see God, I'll bow down to something else" ~ Ann Voskamp

Yet...He still holds out hands to me... grace unlimited, forgiveness, cleansing.

And I offer myself afresh. Living sacrifice of praise. Unworthy as I am and always will be.

And every time my eyes slide from His face, and I backslide from His grace, my heart knows..

It's not about me.

It's not about the place.

It's not even about the worship band, or the building, or the service, or the flowers, candles, vestments, robes, positions, pomp and pageantry, 'the way we do it' all, good as these things may be.

In the hands lifted high, praise, rejoicing, singing, laughing, crying, praying, silence, prone and prostrate, work, rest and play moments - all can be worship - with heart, soul, mind, will and emotions given over, and daily offering of lives surrendered.

For it's all about Him.

Always has been.

Always will be.

The heart of worship is coming back to God's heart, right where we belong.

Linking here with Nacole at sixinthesticks for concrete words, where we write about the abstract using a concrete prompt; and with Tania Vaughan's Monday Ministry where we seek to bring Sunday faith experiences into the everyday week. Do hop over and join us.

To keep in touch you can subscribe by e-mail, connect with Google Friend Connect or by liking my Facebook page.

What does worship mean to you? 

Please feel free to join in the comments below. I love to read and reply to them.

Available

Welcome to my fifth Five Minute Friday foray. 

By the way, did I mention that I just love littering my words with alliteration?

Here we write on a given topic for 5 minutes only, no editing, no over-thinking, no backtracking, just whatever comes straight from the heart.

Start..

Here

"This moment is different from any before it. This moment is different, it's now" ~ Incredible String Band

Here. Now. Present in the moment.

Here. In Your presence. Only finding You when we pause.

Stop our mind's constant chatter.

Trust You now, not just when life is easy.

For our see-saw emotions are unreliable.

We feel lost to You.

But You never move away. 

You are continually present.

Ready. Waiting. Listening. 

Available.

If...we stop the mind wandering,

still the soul, be quiet before You,

then...This Moment..here, now, becomes holy.

We surrender and hear You speaking

into the silent chambers of our spirit.

A voice is heard; Your love ever present, 

Your grace new every day; Your peace always surrounding us

if...we remember to seek and pursue it.

Meet me here, Lord, in this short span of time;

help me pay attention, help me find You.

Invade This Moment with Your love.

Help, heal, restore, renew, refresh

this dry and thirsty soul.

I am waiting.

I am here.

I am ready

for Your outpouring.

I receive You. Here. Now.

Thank you.

Amen.

Stop.

Linking here with Lisa-Jo Baker and Five Minute Friday.

Do join us!

To stay in touch, you can subscribe by e-mail, link with me on Google Friend Connect or like my Facebook page.

Figment

A bit of light-hearted relief in our God-sized dream journey this week as this comes to you by power of my (Spirit and faith-filled) imagination.

No deep soul-searching. Instead of a life described As Is, this is life 'As I wish it could be' as I challenge and confront fear head-on.

I know that no matter how boldly I may proclaim it, the fear monster has a way of creeping and sneaking back into my life to kill, steal and destroy.

Hopefully, the confidence and courage I have displayed here will rub off on me and on you too as you read!

"For God has not given us a spirit of timidity (of cowardice, of craven and cringing and fawning fear), but He has given us a spirit of power and of love and of calm and well-balanced mind and discipline and self-control" ~ 2 Timothy 1:7

So when the fear monster knocks at the door of our hearts we can:

Let Faith answer the door - and send him packing

Holley has asked us to "have a little talk with the fear in your life" by writing a letter to it.

So here goes:

Dear Chihuahua of Fear,

I have some things I'd like to say to you. 
You've had too much attention from me 
and it's gonna stop.
 For far too long you have held me captive...
 but no longer.
So sit up and pay attention to Me instead!

Though you may snarl and threaten like a doberman,
 bare teeth, bark like crazy, jump up with menace, ready to rip apart,
or lay down with innocent-guised slobbering, ball and bone playful, 
  looking intelligently placid, while you plan the next move - on your laptop,

I know you are really only a handbag-size, carry-around pet I have no further use for.
Though you primp and preen with self-importance, 
bigging yourself up larger than you are, flouncing in your finery, 
snappy-yappy to all who challenge,
when you know you have No Power Whatsoever to do more
 than run scared - tail between legs.

You are all noise and no substance

Or maybe you see yourself as a moose 
with horns outstretched, body proud and noble,
weighty killing machine, monarch of all you survey;
 head lifted high to scent for danger,ears and nose a-twitch,
 snuffling for food in the wild, aware of your prowess.

You are nothing more than a pipsqueak mouse.

Long tail thrashing and chasing,

cat escaping, soft-claw scuttling

 back into the hole where you belong.

A cheese gatherer, 

A maiden aunt frightener,

A means to scare

but nothing's really there

to be afraid of

Yes, I remember you appearing in friendly guise to my forebears.
Your rattle, hissing, and poisonous venom I have swallowed blind 
over years without number, without thinking.
Now, I choose to ignore the slither 
and 'come hither' of you creeping close.

Now, I want to kick you into grass
I've had enough of you invading my space

For, Serpent of Old,
you are dead in my eyes.
Just a dried-out husk of skin

I no longer seek to be wrapped up in

Image Courtesy of DigitalPhotos.Net

For, I'm a wily old bird,
wise to your ways.
Now, I can pick you up as the slimy,
weedy little worm you are,
and toss you aside.

Creeping black cat-like into our thoughts,
scratching around in our psyches
claws outstretched, back arched in anticipation 
of sinking teeth into hopes and dreams.
You think you're huge and roaring
but you're only tiny, shadow-boxing.

Get ready to run scared.
The battle cry is due.

The Lion of Judah is on the move
His roar The One to run from

He'll swipe you aside with ease
and already has devoured you.
His the courage we need,
His the strength to resist,
His the faith to protect us.

Only we believe the lies,
 give you room to play your games,
little seeing you for what you really are -
mist, myth, mischief and mayhem-maker,
dream-stealer, dark shadow,
form without substance

just.....False Evidence Appearing Real

You're a Figment,
no more, no less.

So, what are you waiting for?

Get Outta Here!

"There is no fear in love (dread does not exist), but full-grown (complete, perfect) love turns fear out of doors and expels every trace of terror! For fear brings with it the thought of punishment and (so) he who is afraid has not reached the full maturity of love (is not yet grown into love's complete perfection)." ~ 1 John 4:18

Linking here with Holley Gerth and the rest of the God-sized Dream Team.

Do join us for the journey as we share together each week.

To stay in touch with my posts you can link by Google Friend Connect, subscribe by e-mail, or like my Facebook page.

Well met by Moonlight

Welcome. Kick off your shoes. Grab a coffee or tea. Make yourself comfortable as we take a nostalgia trip down Memory Lane.

I am sharing a story of an experience in my life, based on the #concretewords link 'The Moon'.

By the light of the silvery moon

"How sweet the moonlight sleeps along this bank!...soft stillness and the night become the touches of sweet harmony" ~ William Shakespeare 'Merchant of Venice'

Our first proper date. 

Alone, save for the Saturday night pavement-pounding, raucous-laughter-erupting crowd above us, solitary swan or drifting duck swimming solo in the watery depths.

We chose the quiet route of whisperers and lovers. A riverside walk in cloistered dark.

Better for hiding blushes and confusion (mine) or awkwardness (his). How to traverse this bridge between friendship and what may lay beyond?

Misunderstandings were the order of the day as we attempted to find a foothold in this strange, brave new world. 

I had already flown from his bewildered side at a group Firework Party, mindful of his Ex hovering nearby and feeling myself too raw, too exposed as the Replacement Girlfriend.

Now, hugging black velvet coat to shivering body, hands digging holes into pockets, gaze averted to feet clomping in inappropriately clad water-admitting suede boots, purple swirly dress flirting audaciously in the chill breeze, I dared cast a sidelong glance at this silent demi-god beside me.

Awed by his presence. Awed further that he should have sought me out when he had girls lining up for introductions, queuing even to ask him out by giggled asides or requests from friends. And I....made liquid by his presence, weak and wobbly from his smile...hid myself and my thoughts far away.

A myriad of tiny trickling lanterns in an indigo-blue canopy of sky gave this night a starry feel. Peeking out as through slashes in a curtain, lay a silver orb with light to aid our sight, night-careful indicator of deep waters.

Wind blew chill, hands cooler still, though hearts and veins thrilled with heat of their own.

He slowed his pace. Consideration, hope and a hovering enquiry on his face. Hand held out for mine. A promise of warmth, togetherness and beginnings of the love he always held for me.

I looked away, watched the duck, feeling torn...with desire to embrace...and indecision. For in my past, lust came masqueraded as love, arms pulled away when I needed them, hands held, touched hotly when I didn't.

A legacy of shame: abused, used and rejected by those purporting to care - all did their share of destroying me inside.

Now, I beheld his gaze and it melted my reserve as I read kindness, gentleness, sensitivity and love that cared only to keep me safe. Nothing hurried. Nothing expected - apart from whatever I was willing to give.

Taking it slow, so it didn't feel like 'taking' at all. 

Love given out sweet-poured as nectar. Moon dipping low in an act of benediction, seal of approval for two friends and would-be lovers.

Such a simple act - hand holding, embracing. Such simple trust we built upon stone by stone as years of life spanned out before us

Image Courtesy of FreeDigitalImages.Net

Whispers from weeping willows lining the banks as they sunk low to water were a portent of the way tears would be as much part of our lives as tenderness.

All that came after was yet to come. I would barely emerge, blinking from the honeymoon, before my mind would break apart, personality and character lost for years as I pieced myself together again - bit by bit - by God's grace.

Further heartache and heartbreak would ensue as issues from the past pervaded the present. Storms aplenty could not tear apart or destroy, hard as they tried. We were welded and melded together by Trust.

Kept safe by the love of One greater than any circumstance that came against us.

For, God shone in that moon as He shines now in our hearts, bathing them with His love. 

Gifting us with the Light of His Presence.

Hand-holding us throughout the years - as He still does.

Now, silvery moonbeam-threaded hair, bodies and faces betraying the years, grappling once more with life's trials, tribulations and pains, our hearts pulse strong, tender and true for one another, as love... heated and tried in the furnace of affliction...comes forth as gold.

****************

Linking here with Nacole at sixinthesticks for this week's #concretewords post.

Do join us and practice writing about the abstract by using concrete words as a prompt.

To stay in touch you can link with me by Google Friend Connect, subscribe by e-mail, or by liking my Facebook page.

Another layer of the onion

Writing publicly inevitably means being seen, being open, being approachable.

Normally, I like to highlight issues and areas of life I am encountering or going through.

It is a revelation of a kind.

Now I am about to peel off a whole new layer of the onion.

Those who visit here often will know I haven't exactly hidden much.

Today is a little different. I am lifting the lid on the weird, wacky, quirky parts of myself.

I am doing this purely because 3 friends kindly put me into the Liebster Award.

This is a way of highlighting and recognising smaller blogs, while introducing you to other bloggers and building community. Sounds great. 

Thanks very much to:

Rachel Edwards who first nominated me and triggered off the process.

Ruth Povey who seconded that and whose questions I had already made a stab at answering in draft form.

Amanda Fanger whose nomination and kind description of me as "a poet whose inspiring words always come at just the right time for me", finally catapulted me into completing this!

They are all beautiful friends, writers and bloggers, each with their own unique style and perspective. Do click on the names to check out their great sites. 

Sorry it's taken 3 separate nominations over the last few months to stir me into action! Please consider this my response to you all.

Here are The Rules (which seem to vary according to what you read):

• Post 11 random facts about yourself
• Answer the questions the nominator has come up with for you
• Create 11 new questions for the bloggers you have nominated
• Choose other bloggers - (anything from 5 - 11 with under 200/300/500 followers) to nominate and link to them in your post
• Go tell them about the nomination!

Eleven Random Facts:

1) Growing up, my family consisted of 1 non-identical twin sister,1 half brother, 7 half-sisters, plus 1 step sister and 2 step brothers.

2) I still bear scars from early childhood accidents: catching my thumb in a mangle, splitting my head open, falling on barbed wire and getting knocked down by a car. Just naturally clumsy I guess.

3) I used to eat odd things as a child: my cardigans, garden greenery, treacle sandwiches instead of Sunday lunch and baked beans for just about every meal. Thankfully, I grew out of my weird diet.

4) My favourite colour is purple. It makes me feel relaxed and I really need more of it in my wardrobe. Though teal is a close second, and I'm quite partial to...clothes in general.

5) Clinique's 'Aromatic Elixir' and 'Yria' by Yves Rocher are 2 of my favourite fragrances.

6) I am sadly without a middle name - but open to all reasonable suggestions (apart from ones I give myself - eg Verbosity or Procrastinator)

7) I love scarves and necklaces (cheap and cheerful is fine) and feel naked going out without one or sometimes both together.

8) I've still got all my wisdom teeth - and a pathological fear of dentists.

9) Really dislike tapioca, liver, sprouts and mushrooms - for no particular reason apart from the taste and texture, the colour, the flavour..urrgh!

10) Love dark chocolate, fruit, anything my OH cooks...also aromatherapy oils, gels, candles -  though you'll be relieved to hear I don't eat those.

11) Hate heights, confined spaces, judgemental attitudes, victimisation of any kind.

Question Time:(These questions are from Ruth)

If you could meet you, but 10 years younger, what advice would you give yourself?
Put God first, family second, friends next and others after. Savour the moment. Live for today. Deal with stress before it consumes you. Enjoy the physical freedom you have. Believe you are loved, beautiful, special.

It's been a rough day - do you need company, or time alone?
A bit of both. TLC from my Other Half is always welcome. Time to rest, heal, restore and renew is best done alone. Peace, Quiet and Dark are often an M.E sufferer's best friends.

A book that changed you?
Tough one. All books affect us and change our perspective to some degree. Have read many self-help types as well as general fact and fiction, but the one book that has altered my life profoundly is the Bible.

Any recent embarrassing moments?
Er...too numerous to mention...let's see..realising I hadn't responded to the first 2 Liebster Blog nominations. And, I hate to say it, but I used to think that LOL meant 'Lots of Love' until I was corrected.

What does a typical Saturday look like for you?
Not so very different from any other day really. Our 2 sons are both married and we have a pretty constrained lifestyle due to my chronic sickness and my husband's mental health problem. It is a day when sport/football captures most of his attention. We chill out as much as possible, maybe get a takeaway and watch a movie on Sky Premier. Time to relax mostly.

Favourite place to be, outside the house?
A coffee shop. Anywhere with friends or family. Or sitting by a river, near the sea, watching life go by. Love wildlife and people watching - actually not too dissimilar. 

How do you choose what to write about?
Usually the topics largely choose themselves. I always pray for guidance, inspiration and the wisdom to know what to write.  Keeping a notepad handy makes it easy to jot down random ideas/thoughts as they occur - even if I have to get out of bed sometimes - one never knows when inspiration will strike! I've found it really useful and challenging to be part of the God-sized dream this year, (as well as joining in with #FiveMinuteFriday and #concretewords) and write on set topics. 

Who inspires you?
Well, apart from the Holy Spirit, I would say almost anybody and anything. Could be from reading a book, blog post, tweet, message, listening to music etc. Try to remain open to any whispers of wisdom and insight that might cross my path.

What sort of music comes out of your speakers?
Mostly my Other Half's choice which is pretty eclectic, including: Dragonforce, System of a Down, Third Day, Kutless, Newsboys. I enjoy some of these as well as Bob Dylan, Queen, Leonard Cohen, Phil Wickham and Casting Crowns among others.

How do you feel about roller-coasters?
Best avoided or tackled on an empty stomach.

Socks. Sensible or robots?
Have a mix. Silly and sensible. A bit like me.

Here is my list of nominees 

PS: I have no idea how many followers you actually have - no offence intended!

1) Lucy Mills - on faith, writing and life - one of my first blogging friends and a fellow M.E sufferer. I love her quirky and individual slant on life. Deep topics discussed with thought-provoking lightness of touch.

2) Lynda Alsford - random thoughts from an ex-parish evangelist - who has courage to ask the hard questions and battle through life's challenges. I admire her faith wrought stronger through struggle.

3) Joan Hall - writes about life, love and faith - a lovely encourager who is refreshingly open about the writing process and enthusiastic about sharing her experiences to help others.

4) James Prescott - discovering hope in the messiness of life - one of the most encouraging and supportive people I know, even as he battles his own problems. A great friend, social media guru and gifted writer.

6) Dorothy.M. Stewart - about writing, life and God - a seasoned author (and preacher) who has the ability to write with empathy on hard times, sensitivity on delicate matters and with humorous simple enjoyment of life in general. Also a great encourager and supporter of other writers.

7) Helen Murray - because I'm just a child on a long journey - approaches life and faith with an open, inquiring mind and heart. I love her ability to invade the mind of biblical characters in her writing - just sublime.

8) Chris Morris - living a life of hope - a really inspiring person as a bold and determined seeker of answers to life's hard questions about sickness, pain and faith.

9) Debby Bolton - living better with an invisible illness - a great inspiration in how she endeavours to encourage others to live well with chronic illness, with her creativity spanning art, journalling and keeping the home clean.

10) Kelli Woodford - chronicles of grace - a relatively new find for me on the blogosphere. Kelli writes transcendently about life, love and grace in the midst of bringing up her family. I love her expressive, grace-filled prose.

Here are your questions (courtesy of Amanda - tweaked a bit by me)

1) What's your favourite food/drink/eating establishment?

2) If you watch television, what type of programme do you like best? Do you have a specific show or series you never miss?

3) What are the essential components of the writing process for you?

4) If you had to participate in something outside your comfort zone, what would it be?

5) What skill or trade would you like to learn or wish you had?

6) Pick a person, living or dead, you feel your ideals most clearly align with.

7) Pick a genre you don't normally write in, but would like to, and say why you chose that one.

8) What motivates you? What is your passion? What gets you out of bed in the morning?

9) Aside from writing/blogging/social media/promoting, what else do you like to spend your time on?

10) If you could be anything, what would it be? (Let's see how creative you REALLY are!)

11) What human characteristic or trait do you admire most?

PS:You can add a different Liebster Award badge/button to your blog than the one I've chosen here. There are quite a few available.

To keep in touch with my usual blogging routine you can link through Google Friend Connect, subscribe by e-mail or like my Facebook page.

New Era

Another foray into Five Minute Friday to give my brain and creativity a bit of a work-out this morning.

We write:for 5 minutes flat, no editing, no tweaking or self-critiquing. 

Today's word is 'After'.

Start..

After - A New Era

Cross empty

All over

Tomb empty

Sin defeated

Broken lives made new

Yet...it all takes time

Scars remain from damaged bodies, hearts and minds

After-effects linger on 

After-shocks of abuse and trauma 

cannot be fully erased here

though we wish they could

We live in the After Zone

the 'here-but not-here-yet' of the Kingdom.

Not a disaster zone

He is here

We have Love, Life, Hope

We have His Spirit

We have His Grace 

changing us from glory to glory.

We are Resurrection People

We are those who came after the 12

Disciples following our Lord and Master

One Day...

there will be a New Era

after all has passed.

Christ will return in glory

A new Dawn

Then...

there will be no more tears or pain

for they'll be former things passed away.

Rainbows after rain

Sweetness after pain

Fullness of Joy in His Presence

I can't wait for that 'Happy Ever After' day to come

when He sees us 

and we see Him as He Is

Are you ready?

Stop

Linking here today with Lisa-Jo Baker for Five Minute Friday

Do hop over and join in the fun!

You can stay in touch with me by linking up through Google Friend Connect, sign up by e-mail or liking my Facebook page.

No matter what

Sometimes we sweat the small stuff.

Major on minors.

Fail to differentiate between the two.

This year, I had a dream - a God-sized dream:

"To draw closer to God and discover His specific plan for me creatively and personally"

At the time I had no idea what a major part it would play in the scheme of things.

This week Holley asked, "Why is your dream worth pursuing, fighting for and seeing through no matter what happens?"

Pursuing it has become one of the most important and worthwhile things I do.

Anything that really matters is worth fighting for and seeing through - no matter what 

And I have had my fair share of discouragement, plenty of heart-sink moments in the pursuing.

It feels like a battle most weeks to show up and fight for the right to stay focused on the journey.

One vital thing is emerging.

This alone is the best reason to continue:

God gave me this dream and He walks beside me each tiny, tentative step of the way

It doesn't yet look how I imagined or hoped it might be

No soothing meadow-resting moments. No easy ride

I've been called upon to bare my soul, unlock the past, reveal the skeletons, shake the dust off them, share present struggles, and be bold in the telling.

Each week I have no idea what will emerge to frighten me or enlighten others.

This I do know:

My struggles, pain and problems only serve to enhance the need of God's presence.

My love for God grows stronger in the leaning and learning.

My faith in His holding power overcomes hesitation.

My desire to do His will magnifies with every step.

And the need to write is a compulsion. I cannot help myself. Words must flow.

"A musician must make music, an artist must paint, a poet must write, if he is to be ultimately at peace with himself. What one can be, one must be" ~ Abraham Maslow

Now I am finding courage in calling myself a writer and poet and not feel like a wolf in sheep's clothing, impostor extraordinaire waiting to be found out.

And, believing in this, I can be more open to God's plans for me creatively.

In a life circumscribed by sickness I come alive in the telling, with words growing strong and healthy even as body weakens and fails.

At this stage I can only glimpse a small piece of the puzzle, with no idea what will emerge in the finished picture.

My part is to stay faithful, adding one small piece at a time, watching as some semblance of form emerges, continue the journey and trust God for the outcome.

Beneath this weary body lies a rod of steely determination and a heart still full of hope.

I've started, so I'll finish (well, perhaps a bit of stubbornness here too).

I haven't come this far only to give up.

Even if the odds are stacked against me.

Even if it demands more than I ever imagined.

Even if courage only comes in the doing.

Even if ...'the healing doesn't come, and life falls apart, and dreams are still undone; You are God, You are good, forever faithful One' - lyrics from 'Even If' by Kutless (you can click on the link to hear the song)

No matter what, I know God is faithful and I trust Him to see me through

As long as He graces me to do so, I will pursue my dream and encourage you to do the same!

Linking here with Holley Gerth and the rest of the God-sized dream team

Please feel free to join us on the journey. You are more than welcome.

To stay in touch you can sign up here for e-mails, link with me by Google Friend Connect or like my Facebook page.